Where do we go from here?
by Mikigotagun
Summary: A continuation of my one shot 'Why do you tease me onna' Kanda and Alana fell for each other and they decided to hide it from the Black Order. After feelings and actions get confused for what they are not due to inexperience with love. Kanda must come to terms with his true feelings to win the woman he loves before she walks out of his life forever. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is a continuation of my one shot 'Why do you tease me onna' If you haven't read that you'll be lost but I'll give you a summary before the story below. This story is focused more on Kanda and Alana but the rest of the characters play crucial parts. I want to show how the bonds between the characters start to grow more as Kanda starts to trust and confide in his fellow exorcists more. He will go through a dramatic change by the end of this story.

(Summary from the one shot)

Alana Aura was new to the order and became an exorcist. She has an equipment type innocence same as Kanda's. Her's is a whip that when it strikes it can electrocute what it hits. (I thought I'd clear that up now since it wasn't mentioned in the one shot.) She was very intrigued with one exorcist in particular and that was Yu Kanda and he was with her although neither told each other. Being sent on a mission together only intensified those feelings when they found themselves sharing an inn room together and one thing led to another and they ended up sleeping together. Okay so on with the story this starts the day after that night.

Where do we go from here?

Kanda and Alana had spent the day scouring the village as they fought the Akuma and found the innocence. Gathering their stuff they boarded the train back to the Black Order. Their relationship had changed immensely and Kanda really didn't know what to say to her as they sat there in silence and she stared out the window watching the scenery go by. _'I have to say something to her'_ he thought because they had shared an exotic night together that he still played through his mind. What was going to happen when they returned to the Black Order? Could they keep seeing each and if they did it would cease to be because exorcists weren't allowed to have relationships with each other. It caused problems in the past on missions when exorcists were involved with one another.

Shaking his head and dropping it slightly forward he sighed and brought his head back up to stare at her again "Onna" he said very sternly as she heard him and turned her head to look at him "Why do you insist on calling me onna Kanda?" Giving her a strange look he leaned forward towards her "Because you are my onna now." It was then she figured out onna meant woman in his language and she herself didn't know if they could keep this a secret or even if he wanted to continue the relationship. _'Maybe it was just a one night thing'_ she thought leaning back against the seat. Kanda saw the distant look on her face and knew she was thinking the same thing he was. He was conflicted by his feelings for her and his duty as an exorcist but he knew one thing. He wouldn't be able to just stop now that she was his.

"Alana" he said in a stern voice again as she lifted her head to look at him again he didn't know what to say because he wasn't good with words and or feelings like this. She could tell he was having a problem with what he wanted to say because his eyes kept wondering around the train car as he thought. So she leaned forward towards him and reached her hand over and placed it on his. His hand tensed with her touch but then relaxed because he wasn't good with affection. "Your mind seems heavy in thought Kanda." It was then he made eye contact with her "Hai" he would mostly talk in English but sometimes he would answer in his native language. Alana thought his native language was so beautiful and she was amazed that sometimes she actually knew what he was saying from the little time she spent with him over the past few months. It was when he got mad that he would rant in Japanese then everyone knew he was really pissed then. She squeezed his hand some as she moved over and sat next to him "Are you worried about what will happen when we get back? I mean it's not like we have to continue on with this relationship we could think of it as one wonderful night of passion." His head snapped to the side to look at her and his eyes were cold but looking at her they softened "No, I don't want to think of it that way. I want to know if you feel the same?" He was always straight and to the point. Her heart was his but she knew what would happen if the Black Order found out. They would be separated and she didn't know if she could handle being away from him. He saw her eyes drop to the floor and the sadden look that crossed her face. He shifted himself in the seat to look directly at her "Alana do you feel the same?" he asked softly reaching his hand to her cheek. Closing her eyes she rubbed her face along his hand and softly replied "Yes Kanda. But if anyone finds out we'll be separated." Leaning in he kissed her gently and passionately, moving his head slightly back "Then we shall keep it hidden." He knew he couldn't take being separated from her now, not after last night. It had been a long time since he had opened his heart to someone and after feeling what had manifested itself in him last night he wasn't going to give her up that easily.

After reaching the Black Order they went on like nothing had happened. But they would share glances and subtle brushes against each other in the hallway. Everyone had noticed Kanda seemed more on edge as usual. His cold demeanor towards everyone had slowed some it was like his mind was preoccupied with something. Sitting and eating lunch Allen walked up to him "Kanda!" Kanda paid no attention because he was staring at Alana and Allen followed his gaze and slightly grinned "KAAAANDA!" Allen yelled to get his attention as Kanda's gaze slowly lifted to Allen's grinning like an idiot face and he turned his head "What baka moyashi?" he asked annoyed. Standing there Allen stared down at him "The name is Allen straight fringe" Allen replied as he sat down slowly and leaned forward and whispered "Kanda you're staring at Alana pretty hard is there something we should know?" every muscle in Kanda's body tensed as he put his hand on Mugen and leaned closer to Allen's face "Moyashi I think you should mind your own business or I may have to slice you into little shreds of Allen confetti or use hells insects on you again." Allen's eyes widened realizing that this was not a teasing matter. He had always wondered why he and Kanda got off on the wrong foot and never liked each other but then again Kanda never liked anyone. Wanting to know why Kanda was so intrigued with Alana lately '_This is something that needs more_ _investigating on'_ He thought as he stood up and turned to walk away but turning back to face Kanda who had grabbed his chopsticks again and was continuing his enjoyment of his soba noodles "Kanda I know something is up with you." Kanda's eyes came up and burned into Allen's "Leave it alone moyashi." He said coldly and sternly as Allen shrugged it off for now and he went back over to sit and finish his dinner. Getting thousands of questions from Lavi and Lenalee Allen figured he would keep this to himself right now till he found out more.

A few nights later Lavi and Allen were in Allen's room talking when Chevi, Lavi's sister who was new to the order knocked on the door. She was nothing like her brother well in the looks department at 15 she was a cute girl with her fair skin and oval shaped face, her roundish almond shaped dark turquoise eyes stood out against her dark cherry brown hair color. She also had one major crush on one Allen Walker that her brother hadn't noticed yet. Just moments before Allen's stomach had been growling and Lavi mentioned something about going and raiding the cafeteria. Opening the door to let his sister in Lavi looked out into the hall to see no one "Come on it's a good time to go raid the cafeteria Allen." Standing up Chevi smiled at Allen "That's what I was coming to ask you guys. I was going to ask if you guys were hungry too." Allen stood up and stretched feeling food would calm his worry about Kanda "I could go for some food right now." They all walked into the hall and were making their way around to the staircase when Allen looked across the way and saw Alana walking by a very dark spot. Then an arm shot out and pulled her into the dark "Lavi did you see that?" He pointed to the other side. Lavi shook his head "No. What was it?" Allen was frantic "It was Alana s-s-he was just pulled into the darkness by something." Lavi looked at his sister and her eyes widened "We have to help her." They all took off running towards the darkness. But meanwhile it was Kanda that had pulled Alana into the darkness as she walked by and pressed her against the wall. "K-Kanda?" She asked softly as she felt his body press to her "Hai who else would it be?" He answered then kissed her hungrily running his hands over her body then up the side of her skirt. It had been a week since they were together that night and his hands felt good on her skin. He leaned back some and whispered "I want to see you tonight. Come to my room later." She felt as if they were doing something so wrong but it felt so good as she answered in a whisper "Yes I'll come." He kissed her once more before he let her go, left the darkness back into the hallway. Allen, Lavi and Chevi all screeched to a halt when they saw Kanda exit the darkness and walk towards his room. Then seconds later Alana walked out into the light straightening her skirt and pulling it back into place as she continued to her room.

Lavi's mouth fell open as he turned to stare at Allen "D-Did we just see what I think we saw?" Allen's eyes narrowed and he knew why Kanda had now been infatuated with Alana. He turned to Lavi and Chevi feeling it was none of their business and he also knew Kanda would kill them all in their sleep if he found out they knew "Let's just forget about it for now alright." Just then his stomach growled reaching down and taking hold of it his face cringed "I have more important things to think about right now." Continuing on to the cafeteria they began to raid it for its junk food.

About a half hour later Allen, Lavi and Chevi we're walking back from the cafeteria with their hands loaded with food. Well Allen's were and Chevi and Lavi were carrying the over flow from Allen's. "Are you seriously going to eat all this?" Chevi asked staring at the amount of food they were carrying. Lavi laughed "Allen can put some food away. I'm surprised he's not a giant fat ass." Allen was about to round on Lavi with a defensive comment when someone caught his eye sneaking through the darkness of the hallway. He held his hand out to stop Lavi and Chevi from laughing "Sssh" as their heads came up to see the figure in a towel moving slowly through the hall as well. Lavi squinted his eyes "Who is that?" He asked questionably as they watched the person stop at Kanda's door then proceed inside. Allen turned to both of them eye's widened in amazement "I-I think that was Alana." Shaking her head Chevi said in disbelief "Nah it had to be someone else." She couldn't believe her best friend wouldn't tell her if there was something going on. They decided to let it go for tonight as they began to walk to Allen's room but deep down Allen had a feeling that there was something going on between Alana and Kanda because ever since they returned from their mission both of them had been acting peculiar.

Alana shut the door behind her as she turned to stare into the dark room to let her eyes focus. The only light in the room was a small candle that was lite on the table next to the hour glass that held a lotus flower. She walked slowly forward towards it "Kanda?" She whispered as she reached the table and stared at the flower. She was startled then by two hands curling around her waist from the back as he leaned down to her ear and whispered softly "I've been waiting for you onna." Instinctively she leaned her head back onto his bare chest as he leaned his head down and began kissing her neck as she moved her hand backwards to his body touching his bare thigh, it was then she realized he was naked. Laying gentle kisses up her neck he found her lips as his name escaped hers once more softly. He the bent down and scooped her into his arms walking her to the bed and laying her on it as he crawled over her. Then staring down at her with his long hair sprawled across his shoulders and back he spoke softly as he began to remove her towel "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." Lowering his head he began to kiss her midsection and work his way up as his name flowed from her lips softly several more times before he ravished them with his own. Placing her hands on his back she ran them up to his shoulders as she leaned her head back and moaned as she let him do whatever he wanted to her at that point which was take her for his own again because she was so caught up in him and this moment of sheer pleasure she was feeling. Taking a chance like this and doing this here, in the order command center only intensified the excitement of the act. The excitement of being caught or heard but at the rate Kanda was going she knew he didn't care about any of that at this moment. He was so much more passionate this time, like he was savoring every inch of her to last him for a while. His movements were slow and easy and it was driving her to the point of exploding into an erotic frenzy. So much she dug her nails deep into his back and he let out a slight moan as he grabbed her tightly around the waist as her back arched then drove deeper into her. It was at that point they both found their release and he collapsed on her breathing heavily as she wrapped her arms around him and held him as he tried to control his body from convulsing. His face buried in her neck he began kissing it softly to her ear "You are going to be the death of me." He whispered softly as he raised his head to see her slightly smile "I didn't think anything could kill you Kanda." Staring into her amethyst eyes he was lost for a moment in her hypnotic stare then he did something no one had ever seen him do, he actually slightly smiled at her as he rolled off her and pulled her to him and she snuggled into him "You will" he said sternly and softly. She laid there with him a few hours then before dawn she looked up at him "I better get back to my room before the sun comes up." He nodded to her and kissed her again before she got up and grabbed her towel, put it around her and walked to the door. As he watched her leave and shut the door he knew by the strange feelings that overcame him that his feelings for her had deepened. It was hard for him to walk around all day and see her and not be able to touch her. It drove him crazy when he saw her talking to someone else and he couldn't even talk to her himself without acting like he really didn't want to. Leaving his room Alana looked around to see if anyone was there as she started to her room. She needed a shower but that would have to wait after a few hours of sleep because she was exhausted. Kanda was a very intense lover his passion was beyond anything she would have ever imagined it to be from the way he acted around everyone. But around her he was different he was more free and he let his feelings surface through touching and looking at her. She knew he would never say it but from the way he touched her she knew he had deep feelings for her. Even the way he looked at her it was in his eyes, the way they softened when he saw her or glanced at her and that was all she needed to know at this point.

Kanda lay on his bed after she left and as he leaned back and sighed he came to the conclusion that his feelings for Alana were deepening. She was so breath taking and energetic it was like she was breathing life back into his dark heart. He didn't know if that was a good thing or bad thing but at this point he didn't care all he knew was when he was around her he felt alive again. The thoughts he had of dying would float away and all he thought about was being with her. But how? How could this go on like this? Just after one week he felt himself need the urge to be with her. If only for a moment or a second to brush past her and feel her skin graze his. She had awoken something deep inside of him and he would have to deal with it sooner or later but for right now he wanted to just enjoy the feelings she left him with and the smell of her perfume that lingered in his room.

**Well there it is the start of my first D. Gray man story. Please review if you'd like to know what happens next.**


	2. Chapter 2

Where do we go from here chap.2

The next day around lunch time Kanda had finished his soba noodles in the cafeteria and was walking into the hall to go to his room and get ready to leave for his next mission. When he reached the hallway what he saw made his blood boil and he didn't think rationally on his own actions. Another exorcist named Lazard had gotten back from his mission and he considered himself a real ladies man when in truth he was just an asshole. He had his eye on Alana for a while and he had tried to make a move on her quite a few times but she had gracefully declined his advances. This time though things got a little too close for comfort for her. Lazard was talking to her and of course trying to come on to her but she was not paying that much attention to him when she saw Kanda enter the hallway. His eyes narrowed at the site before him as he saw Alana, her back against the wall and Lazard moving ever so closer to her, more closely than Kanda liked. She turned to look in his direction when Lazard grabbed her face and pulled it back to look at him. Before she even had a chance to react she saw two shoulder blades appear in front of her as if they came out of nowhere and the hand that had grabbed her face had been removed. Kanda had unsheathed Mugen and had it against Lazard's throat "I suggest you keep your hands to yourself Lazard" his voice was stern and the tone was threatening.

Allen, Lavi and Komui were walking in the hall talking about the mission Allen and Lavi were to leave on when they saw the commotion and stopped to see what was going on. Lazard looked down at the blade to his neck and gave a cocky laugh "Wow Kanda you act as if she belongs to you." Kanda was pissed beyond belief at this point as he glanced over his shoulder to Alana's shocked face hoping he wouldn't spill they're secret. Lazard had just put him on the spot "Kuso" he whispered the curse word softly knowing he had to say something at this point. Turning his head back to Lazard he pushed Mugen closer to his throat "I'm not going to sit by while you harass female exorcists like you've done in the past. Leave her alone she wants nothing to do with you." Leaning in closer to Lazard's face he whispered "If I see you harassing her again I will kill you." Lazard figured there was more to this relationship between Kanda and Alana because Kanda had never since he had been harassing the female exorcists stepped in like this to save one. Just then Komui's eye's narrowed as he walked forward "Alright Lazard that's enough, leave the females alone." He stared at Lazard with a death stare "If you were to do that to Lenalee I would kill you also." Putting his hand up to take Mugen by the blade he pulled the katana back from Lazard's throat "Alright Kanda I think he gets your point." Kanda just turned his head to the side "Che" he said as he put Mugen back in its sheath. Looking around at everyone standing there "Alright everyone back to work, shows over" Komui said smiling in his high pitched voice. As everyone started to walk away Komui turned to Kanda with a suspicious look in his eye "I would like to see you in my office." Then turning back to Allen and Lavi "You two also." Then he turned and walked off pushing Lazard down the hall. Allen and Lavi walked up to Alana and Kanda, Allen looked at her "Are you okay?" She glanced to Kanda then slightly smiled "Yes" she said in a low voice as her eyes went to the ground. Allen smiled "Alright then come on Lavi let's see what Komui wants." Walking off they left Kanda and Alana standing there and she turned to him "You didn't have to do that." His eyes narrowed as he stared forward "I couldn't stand seeing his damn hands on you." She had a pleading look in her eyes as he turned to look at her and she stared into his "Kanda if you keep this up people are going to think something's going on." Turning his head away from her again he then snapped it back to look at her "At this point I really don't care if anyone finds out Alana. I will not have anyone put their hands on you as long as I'm around." It was at that point she slightly smiled knowing he was pissed someone other than him was touching her. Moving her hand slightly she grasped his gently and as she did his eyes softened at her touch "Kanda thank you." He inhaled deeply then sighed as he squeezed her hand just slightly "Just be careful while I'm gone." She squeezed his back then let go as he turned to walk to Komui's office. She watched him walk away his back stiffened by the confrontation with Lazard _'You're so cold and dark at times my love but nobody knows you the way I do when we're alone. You're so different, passionate and gentle when you're with me' _she smiled as she thought that but she hada feeling this wasn't over yet and she had reason to worry. Lazard was watching from around the corner and saw their little intimate moment and he smiled a devious grin _'Ah ha I see now he likes her. Well I'll just have to push it to see how far I can go before he completely loses it.' _You see Lazard and Kanda had disliked each other since they first met two years ago. Kanda thought he was a complete asshole that took being an exorcist as way to pick up women and he thought Kanda was arrogant and needed to be knocked off his high horse.

Entering Komui's office he saw Allen and Lavi sitting on the couch so he walked up and stood next to it. Komui stared at him for a moment then spoke "Kanda is there something I should know about going on between you and Alana?" Komui asked this because he had never seen Kanda take such interest in stupid confrontations like that. Putting his hand on Mugen's handle "No but that doesn't mean I have to stand by and watch him degrade female exorcists like pieces of fresh meat." Straightening his back he slightly grinned at Komui "I would do the same for Lenalee if she were in that situation with that asshole." Komui's face then changed to a grin as Allen's eye's shifted to stare at Kanda _'Boy you sure_ _know how to play him don't you Kanda?_' he thought as Komui replied "I'm sure you would Kanda." Knowing that Lenalee and Kanda had grown up together he figured as much because Kanda was always the one that stood up for Lenalee and he was always the one she ran too when the head of the investigations came to visit.

Putting his hands firmly on his desk he then looked at Lavi and Allen "I think instead of sending you Lavi I'm going to send Kanda and Allen." Confused Lavi stared at him "Ooookay." Kanda was about to protest when he saw Komui give him a stern look "You need to get away from here and Lazard for a few days." Kanda not wanting to push the matter further agreed. As they were leaving Komui's office Kanda watched as Allen and Lavi were walking away and he shouted "LAVI!" Lavi turned and walked back to him "Yeah" Kanda inhaled deeply before he spoke "Do me a favor keep an eye on Alana for me while I'm gone. Don't let Lazard screw with her." Lavi smiled feeling there was a reason for Kanda's request and he didn't want the samurai to get pissed at him for medaling so he just agreed "Sure thing" he then walked back over to Allen and as they walked down the hall "I think Kanda has a thing for Alana." Lavi said grinning ear to ear but Allen had already figured that out last week "Really what makes you say that?" Allen asked nonchalantly as Lavi looked back at Kanda as he walked away "Because he has never asked such a request from anyone like that." Allen then stared at Kanda while leaving and not wanting Lavi to know he had figured out Kanda and Alana's secret "Maybe it's like he says. He doesn't like seeing him bully the female exorcists." They both turned and began to walk as Lavi replied "Maybe it's just one in particular." Allen smiled "Let's just drop this alright it's really none of our business what his motives are." Lavi grinned turning around to look at Kanda again '_Awww I think Yu is in love'_ He thought as he turned his head back to watch where he was going.

Later that day Kanda and Allen had caught the train and were shown to their compartment. Allen stared at Kanda as he looked over the mission briefing and feeling eyes watching him he looked up "What short stack!" Allen clinched his teeth as he leaned forward "The name is Allen straight cut." Both stared furiously at each other than Allen sat back and relaxed as he sighed "Kanda I know it's none of my business but I have noticed you and Alana have gotten close." Allen saying that was enough to make Kanda's back muscles tighten as he turned his eyes to the window "Your right it's none of your business moyashi." Allen knew he had hit a nerve then he leaned forward some and spoke softly "Kanda I'm just looking out for you and Alana. If anyone finds out you two could be separated." Before Kanda even knew what he was saying his anger took over and he blurted "Don't you think we know that!" in an angry voice then realizing he'd just spilled it to Allen he cursed himself "Shit" and sat back turning his eyes back toward the window to stare out it again. Allen decided he'd reassure Kanda "I won't say anything about it. I sort of figured it out when I saw her sneaking to your room the other night." Kanda's eyes shifted to look at Allen then widened "Were you the only one?" He asked directly as Allen shook his head no "Lavi and Chevi were with me." Kanda's hand went to his forehead as he rubbed it "Damn it." Allen smiled "Lavi and Chevi won't say anything either Kanda." Kanda had a bad feeling about this whole thing now as he sat back and didn't say anything else as Allen decided to push the subject a little more to get an answer out of Kanda because they were all worried what would happen to them if the head of investigations secretary Leverrier found out.

"Kanda do you love her?" It was a question that ran deep in Kanda's mind at that moment. He couldn't imagine his life without her after the way she had made him feel. He had felt more alive than he ever had after meeting her and now he had her and he wasn't going to let her go. He wasn't going to let the Black Order take someone else he loved away. He turned and stared at Allen his eyes narrowed "I don't think that's any of your business short stack" turning he looked back out the window as Allen sat back realizing he wasn't going to get an answer when Kanda surprised him by turning his head back to look at Allen "I don't know what I feel. It's a strange sensation I get when I'm around her." he said softly and Allen slightly smiled feeling a connection with Kanda at that moment that he could trust him enough to tell him the truth. Kanda had never trusted anyone at the Black Order but in the past year he had learned a lot by watching Allen and his actions and he knew that even though he gave the pathetic moyashi such a hard time he knew Allen was always the one that was there to back him up. He didn't understand how Allen could be so alive inside after everything they faced he figured that's why he disliked him so much. But as time went on Allen sort of grew on him and he never let on to the short stack that he was actually being to like him somewhat. Allen had proved himself to Kanda many times but Kanda hated to get close to people so he still put on that front of disliking Allen even though he had developed a respect for the young white haired exorcist. Kanda never thought in a million years that Allen would have lived this long in the Order but Allen had fought beside him and proved Kanda wrong many times with his will to help people and survive.

"That's good that you feel something Kanda" Allen said smiling a huge grin as Kanda just turned his head to the side "Che" As he sat there he looked back to Allen and asked an out of the ordinary question "How can you always be so happy?" Allen turned and looked out the window "I don't let things get to me that often. I figure I shouldn't be sad about things because there's enough sadness in the world so I try to stay in good spirits most of the time." Realizing it was a truthful answer Kanda closed his eyes and laid his head back some "You know moyashi one day something will happen that you can't cover up with your happiness." Allen stared at Kanda for a moment then softly replied "Kanda there have been many things that have happened I haven't been able to cover up with happiness. But I always find a way to keep going on." Inhaling deeply Kanda agreed "Hai, you have short stack" his voice trailed off "That you have."

It had been a week since Kanda and Allen had left on their mission and Lavi was keeping a close eye on Alana. He noticed that Lazard was always around her trying to get her to come be alone with him. Lavi was getting very irritated with Lazard as he mentioned it to Komui. But he kept a closer eye on her when he noticed Lazard lurking around her room. '_Doesn't his guy take a hint?'_ He thought as Lazard saw him sitting outside Alana's room. Lazard walked up "Lavi are you stalking this girl?" Lavi looked up as his eyes narrowed "I could ask the same of you Lazard but no my sister shares a room with her and I'm waiting for her to come out." Lazard laughed at his explanation "Oh I thought Kanda asked you to keep an eye on Alana for him." Lavi stood up and began to get irritated "So what if he did that's none of your concern is it now?" Backing up Lazard laughed again "Well then that would mean that Kanda had a thing for Alana wouldn't it?" Lavi's voice changed into defense mode as he stood his ground in front of Alana's door "Or maybe he just doesn't like the way you stalk around her like a predator looking for prey." Lazard swooshed his hand in front of him "Nah she's not prey but she's definitely on the menu." Turning he laughed loudly again and walked away as Lavi breathed a sigh of relief but now he also knew that Lazard wasn't going to give up that easy. '_Kanda you need to get back here soon'_ He thought as he heard the door open and Alana stood there staring at him "I'm sorry Lavi that this is getting this bad but Kanda should be back soon." Lavi smiled slightly "I don't mind watching out for you it's just I think he has something else in mind and it involves pissing Yu off and I don't like that at all." Alana's eyes lowered to the ground "I know and I hope Kanda can hold his composure when it happens." Lavi slightly chuckled "Yeah that's not going to happen and you know it especially if it involves doing something to you." Alana knew Lavi was right after seeing the way Kanda went off last week with Lazard just grabbing her face. She was afraid of what lengths Lazard would go too to make Kanda angry. Later that night after dodging Lazard's advances all day Alana knew she wasn't going to rest well in her room knowing he was lurking around outside. She found herself opening Kanda's door to his room '_Maybe I can stay here tonight and he won't know where I am'_ she thought feeling comfortable walking into the room, more comfortable than she did in her own. As she came back after getting ready for bed she stared at the lotus flower on the table. There were three petals that had fallen to the bottom of the case as she wondered why Kanda kept the flower in an hour glass shaped glass container. Sitting on the bed she slowly crawled into it and she inhaled the scent of the man that usually occupied this particular bed. It was the smell of lavender soap with a sandal wood cologne mixed with it. A smell her nose had come to love as she inhaled and drifted off to sleep.

Kanda and Allen had arrived back at the order late that night with the innocence. After giving it to Komui Kanda and Allen both started to their rooms when they met Lavi frantically searching the halls. "Lavi what are you doing?" Allen smiled at his friend as Lavi looked at Kanda with a frightened look "I'm sorry Yu but I lost sight of her after dinner." Kanda eyes widened "Alana?" Lavi shook his head yes and Kanda put his hand to Mugen as he stared at Lavi "Where did you see her last and where is Lazard?" Lavi turned and pointed to the women's bathroom "I saw her go in there and I left for ten minutes and when I came back Chevi told me she had gotten ready for bed and left." But Lavi said when he asked Chevi if she was in the room Chevi said no then he pointed to Lazard's room "He has been in his room for an hour now and hasn't come out." Allen turned to Kanda "Let's split up we can cover more ground that way." They all took different directions and after two hours of searching the whole Black Order from top to bottom they met back up. Allen and Lavi informed Kanda they hadn't found her.

"KUSO!" Kanda cursed and shouted as he turned and stomped to his room opening the door widely, proceeding to piss himself off more before he went to go confront Lazard but as he walked in he saw someone in his bed. His heart began to pound in his chest as he walked over and saw it was Alana sleeping peacefully in his bed. She looked so beautiful lying there with her hair spread across his pillow. He walked slowly over and reached his hand out and caressed her cheek softly. Just then his door flew open "YU!" Lavi said loudly opening the door and seeing the touching scene in front of him of Kanda standing there with his hand on Alana's cheek he cringed and whispered "I'm sorry" Kanda's head shot around to look at him his eyes narrowed at Lavi using his real name but then again after so long he was getting used to the red head calling him that and Lavi seemed like the only one that could get away with it at certain times. Kanda sighed then smirked as he looked down at her sleeping peacefully "She's fine probably just exhausted from dodging that asshole all day." Lavi wiped the sweat from his brow because now that they found her and she was safe Kanda wouldn't kill him.

"That's great I'm glad she's okay and I would have never looked for her here." Smiling a sideways grin Kanda looked down at her again "I think she thought the same about Lazard." Lavi turned to shut the door "Lavi" Kanda said quickly "Thank you for watching over her." Lavi breathed a sigh of relief "You're welcome" He said shutting the door and leaving to go tell Allen they found her. Kanda took Mugen from his waist and sat it in the corner as he got ready for bed. He never once thought about waking her up as he slid into bed next to her and put his arm around her. She instinctively pressed her body to his as he laid behind her and inhaled the floral fragrance that was coming from her hair. Just to hold her was all he needed as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	3. WDWGFH chap3

AN: I know this story could be a written better but I'm still getting in the grove of writing for these characters.

Where do we go from here chap.3

Feeling the sensation of someone touching his mid-section Kanda opened his eyes the next morning to see Alana smiling down at him, her head propped in her one hand with elbow bent looking down at him and her finger from the other tracing the muscles on his abdomen. He stared at her for a moment then smirked "Good morning" He said softly as she smiled a huge smile "Why didn't you wake me when you got back?" Reaching his hand up he caressed her cheek as she closed her eyes to feel his touch "Because you looked so damn good lying here last night I didn't want to disturb you." _'So beautiful and perfect' _he thought as he reached his hand around to the back of her neck and pulled her face to his. Alana was a beauty with black hair that hung to the middle of her back with red highlights running through it. She stood only 5'5 (four inches shorter than Kanda) and weighed 125 lbs. Her skin was tanned. Her body was perfect he thought as he ran his hand over it. Her flat stomach all the way up to her full breasts that he couldn't keep his hands off. She was thin but muscular where she needed to be, not too much and not too little. She was a perfect fit for him and he couldn't understand why he was so mesmerized by her but at this point he really didn't care. Because she made him feel and stirred things inside of him he hadn't felt in a long time. As their lips touched he was lost in that kiss for a moment till she snapped him back to reality when she pulled her face back slowly "Kanda" she said softly as he cocked one eye to look at her finding himself a little frustrated she had removed her lips from his "Haaai." Raising her hand and began to stroke his hair "I have to go back to my own room before some finds out I'm not there."

He shook his head then turned it to the side "Che" A smile curved the corner of her lip at him getting upset "Ooooh don't be like that." She teased as he closed his eyes thinking about where her lips had been a few seconds earlier. Turning his head slowly back to look at her he opened his eyes '_My onna'_ he thought raising his hand back to her face and he smirked once again "I will let you go on one condition onna." She smirked back "And what is that?" Pulling her face towards his slowly and stopping before their lips touched, she felt his warm breath slowly grazing her face as he breathed "You give me one last kiss before you leave." Alana knew if she kissed him she wouldn't be able to leave due to her wanting more of him. So she played along with his teasing as she leaned closer and traced his lower lip with her tongue "No Kanda you have to kiss me goodbye." A deep moan escaped his lips as she talked and his eyes slightly closed due to the passion he felt at that moment and for the first time ever her name escaped **his** lips "Alaaana" she grinned into the kiss as she gave in to his demands while his hands swiftly encircled her body pulling her down on him. One thing led to another and let's just say she didn't make it back to her room before everyone in the order was up and roaming the halls.

Hours later Kanda opened his bedroom door poking his head out to see if the coast was clear. He saw Lavi and Chevi walking down the hall but they were too far away to get their attention. Just then he saw Allen open his bedroom door and exit into the hall " Pssst moyashi" he whispered and hearing his voice Allen turned and smiled slightly "Yeah Kanda?" Kanda waved his hand for him to come over "Come here" Allen walked over slowly only to be grabbed by the front of the shirt and pulled into Kanda's room with the door shutting behind him. As he started straightening his clothes about to go off on Kanda he saw Alana sitting on Kanda's bed and Kanda pacing the floor then he stopped in front of Allen leaning his face in close "Can you help short stack?" Allen's eyes narrowed as he corrected Kanda in an annoyed voice "Its Allen" seeinf Kanda still staring at him he raised a brow in confusion "Uhhhh with what?" Alana looked up and smiled at Allen "It seems Kanda doesn't think I can get to my room by myself and he doesn't want me running into Lazard. So can you walk me there just in case." Allen smiled knowing Kanda couldn't do it or people would start getting suspicious of why they were together. His outburst with Lazard last week already had people talking about certain things that he had overheard last night when they got back. Allen smiled slightly "Sure come on" Kanda breathed a sigh of relief as he stared at Allen and said something Allen never thought he would hear from him "Thank you." _'Wow with her around Kanda is almost human in a crazy sort of way'_ Allen thought as Alana jumped off the bed and walked by Kanda reaching her hand up and caressing his cheek "I'll see you later lover." Kanda's cheeks turned a slight shade of pink as Allen chuckled at that and Kanda scowled at him. He thought it was cute that Alana had such a hold over Kanda but Allen also knew that could be very dangerous too. Kanda was not the type of person you could control and he was also very stubborn, more like pig headed when he got something in his mind. He also considered **his** things **his** and he would never let anyone take what belonged to him without protecting it with his life to the point he was almost possessive with the things that belonged to him because he didn't have much. As it was Kanda was already getting caught up in the feelings he had for Alana and sometimes he didn't know what to feel about that. Sometimes he found himself consumed with thoughts of her and that wasn't a very good situation to be in when he was fighting for his life. In the month since they had started this relationship he had found himself tied in knots over the way they had to conduct themselves in front of other people. Allen, Lavi and Chevi were a different story because they had found out about the relationship and that only made Kanda more nervous thinking if they figured it out anyone could. In his chest he felt the pure beating of his heart that he hadn't felt in so many years it was like Alana had woken up a part of him he never thought he'd feel again. But with that he knew came unexpected and uncontrollable feelings. He had to admit to himself it scared him some because if it didn't he knew it wasn't real and the fear only made it real to him.

It was a few days later when Alana was walking through the hall only to have Lazard step out in front of her "Hey where are you going in such a hurry" he asked slightly grabbing her arm to stop her. Pulling her arm instinctively out of his grasp she glared at him "Do you mind I'm on my way to the cafeteria to eat. Now if you'll excuse me I'm late meeting a friend." He chuckled and sarcastically replied "That friend wouldn't be Kanda would it?" Shaking her head at his annoyance "No it's Chevi if you must know" then she got mad at herself for answering him "And why the hell am I explaining myself to you?" Pushing into him she tried to pass him only to have him push her against the wall and pin her arms. Before she knew what had happened his lips were on hers and her eyes widened at the act as she began to thrash her face back and forth.

Kanda and Lavi were exiting the cafeteria when Kanda spotted the scene in front of him and his whole body was consumed with a burning fire of hatred. Lavi looked over at him and saw the death stare in his eyes as they narrowed "Uhhhh…Yu don't do anything" It was too late Kanda was in a full run towards Lazard as Lavi finished his sentence softly "Stupid." Lazard seeing out of the corner of his eye the charging samurai smirked to himself as he let go of Alana and took three steps back to take Kanda on. All Alana saw was Mugen come unsheathed and Kanda running full force in their direction as he raised the katana to his shoulders. Grabbing her whip she flung it out and it grabbed ahold of Lazard's legs as she pulled them out from under him and sent a shock through him. He fell to the ground just as Mugen passed slightly over his face and cut an inch off his hair. Kanda stopped and turned to glare at her, she only did it because he would have taken Lazard's head off if not. She could tell he was pissed and he sighed deeply looking back at her as she walked over and undid her whip from Lazard's legs then turned and stared at Kanda, his breathing was erratic at the time.

Lavi came stretching to a halt next to Kanda as he turned and he and Alana stood in battle stance face to face. Through gritted teeth Kanda turned and snarled "Why the hell did you do that?" Alana stared glared back at him then looked around at everyone staring as she glanced back into his eyes and softly said "We are not having this conversation right here Kanda." Around them people started whispering and Lavi put his hand on Kanda's shoulder "She's right Yu this is not the place." Kanda's eyes narrowed as he looked down at Lazard doing convulsions on the floor then his eyes scanned his surroundings. He had screwed this up completely letting his emotions get the better of him as he saw all the people staring. What made him think she couldn't handle it? But it was someone else's lips on hers that had set him off. Turning his head to the side he sighed "Che" then sheathed Mugen back up and took a deep breath as he stood up straight glancing to Alana again then he turned and walked away not even glancing back at her and she knew he was upset but he had put it on her because she had hurt his pride by stopping him. Lavi smiled slightly at her seeing the look of regret on her face "Don't worry he'll get over it." She turned and sadly looked at Lavi "I hope so I just didn't want him killing him." Lavi waved his hand in front of him "I'll talk to him okay." Wrapping her whip back up and sticking it back to her side she then turned and kicked Lazard in the side "YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE! DON'T EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN YOU CREEP!" Turning her back to Lavi she walked off mumbling something about having to wash her mouth out with bleach. Lavi smiled to himself '_Wow she's a spit fire to defy Yu like that. The right girl for him she most defiantly is.' _He watched her walk off then leaned down next to Lazard who was finally starting to get control of his body back "You better leave her alone and quit fucking with Yu or I'm going to take things into my own hands you prick." Standing up he went to go find Bookman and talk to him about what could be done.

Kanda had made his way to the meditation room and as he sat there trying to meditate he played the scene over in his head only to get more irritated. "Ahhhh" he sighed out loud shaking his head trying to come to some conclusion of why he was so pissed. Closing his eyes again he tried to meditate it out of his mind but all he saw was that assholes lips on hers. Shaking his head he gave up trying to meditate as he sat back against the wall '_I'm going to kill that asshole'_ he sat there thinking as his blood began to boil again. He had never had anyone stop him from doing something before and he tried to figure out if he was mad at Alana or himself for making such a scene. But in his mind he was in the right, she was his woman and **no one **else was going to touch her. He knew getting any meditation that day was not going to happen as he stood up and walked to the door. Upon opening it he came face to face with Alana who was about to knock. She looked up at him but his eyes were cold as he stared at her "Look I'm sorry about that I just didn't want you killing him." Staring down at her he had strange feelings surging through his body and he knew he was still pissed and it was not the right time to talk "Fine" He said coldly as he brushed past her "Now if you'll excuse me I need some air." She watched as he walked past her and everything inside of her crumbled _'Have I screwed up that bad that he has to be so cold?'_ she thought as tears weld up in her eyes and she turned and ran down the hall feeling deeply crushed. Kanda hadn't even realized how sharply his lack of words had hurt her but walking away he did feel like an asshole for saying it so coldly. So he turned to do something he vever did and that was to apologize to her but he found she was gone and he now felt an empty stabbing pain in his heart as he stared at the empty hallway. Closing his eyes softly he shook his head slightly as he exhaled deeply _'I don't know how to handle things like this.'_ Turning to leave he walked to the cafeteria and asked for some soba noodles. After getting them he walked to the table and sat down where he found he couldn't even eat anything. Sitting there all he could see was the look on her face as he turned and walked away from her and it tore deeply at him. His thoughts were interrupted by a pissed off Chevi yelling at him "JUST WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO ALANA?" His head snapped to the side to look up at her as she stood there arms crossed and foot tapping. Kanda was confused by her question after coming out of his own thoughts he asked her annoyed "What the hell are you talking about girl?" Chevi leaned down closer to his face "She's crying and I want to know what you said to her." Shaking her head she sighed "God Kanda sometimes you can be completely oblivious to what an asshole you can be." Staring wide eyed at Chevi his only thought was he was the one that made her cry. Narrowing his eyes he turned his head to stare straight ahead _'Asshole huh?'_ Chevi didn't let him answer as she continued her verbal assault on him till Allen walked up and seeing the hurt look on Kanda's face and also he wasn't listening to a word Chevi was saying he stopped her.

"I think he gets it Chevi" It was then she noticed he wasn't even hearing what she was saying to him and she groaned. Allen sat next to Kanda careful of the words he was about to say to him "Kanda why don't you go talk to her?" Kanda raised his arm and sat it on the table dropping his chin into his hand as he stared blankly ahead "And what do you expect me to say to her moyashi that won't make the matter worse. You know me I'm no good with things like this." Allen smiled slightly "Try talking from your heart Kanda" Allen turned away then sarcastically said "You do have one don't you?" Turning his head Kanda glared at him but Allen could tell he was not in the best of moods right now not knowing how to handle the situation. Allen stood up and turned Chevi around and began pushing her away from the table "Come on give him time to clear his head" as Kanda watched them walk away he knew Allen was on to something but he also knew he could screw the situation up worse if he opened his mouth agaun and the wrong thing came out or it came out coldly.

It had been two days since their encounter in the hallway when he walked away from her and Alana was beginning to think that Kanda just didn't want to talk to her anymore. Every time he saw her his eyes would divert to something else and he wouldn't even look at her or for that matter talk to her and she felt crushed inside. But she was also dealing with not feeling well lately. Her emotions were all over the place and she felt like crap. She had spent the last two days in bed thinking maybe she was just depressed about the whole situation. Kanda had noticed he hadn't seen her very much in the last few days but then when he did he wouldn't look at her. He was worried about her as he asked Chevi where she was and Chevi informed him she wasn't feeling well and she hadn't been out of bed. This situation between them went on for a week until they were called to Komui's office for a mission. As she entered the room she saw Allen, Chevi, Lenalee and Lavi sitting on the couch and Kanda standing against the wall. He glanced up at her and noticed she looked terrible then he glanced back to the floor not knowing what to say to her as she walked past him never even looking at him. God what could he do? He wasn't mad at her he just didn't know how to talk to her. He wanted to know why she wasn't feeling well? Was it because of what had happened? Had he actually screwed this up that bad?

Alana just thought he didn't want anything to do with her anymore since Lazard had kissed her so she figured it was over between them. She had already accepted the fact that she would never be held in his arms again or be kissed by his soft lips. But the fact he couldn't even look at her was what hurt the most. Feeling the way she did didn't help either it was like she could burst into tears over the simplest things and she felt like crap. She even got to the point while Komui was explaining the mission that she asked if she could be left out of this one. Kanda's eyes shot in her direction at that point and he knew something was wrong because she was always eager to go on missions. Komui informed her that he needed everyone on this mission and that after it was done she could have some time to herself. '_This is not like her'_ Kanda thought as he looked at everyone while they stared daggers in his direction. He dropped his head and shook it slightly telling himself when this mission was over he would talk to her even if he screwed the situation up worse. He didn't want to lose her he just wasn't good with the communication parts of relationships.

It appeared some akuma had gathered around a small village and Komui figured there was innocence they were after so he sent them all out to find it, He needed all of them due to the reports of how many akuma there were gathering. As they all set out on their journey Alana really wasn't paying much attention to anything. Her head hurt and she felt sick to her stomach and all she wanted to do was sleep. So she laid her head on Chevi's shoulder and went to sleep. Kanda watched from the seat across the aisle and he wondered what was wrong with her, Could he have hurt her that badly? He didn't mean too and he felt terrible seeing her like this. She wasn't full of that energetic spirit and she had lost the bright smile she had. His eyes lowered to the ground as he mentally kicked himself in the ass for doing this to her. Allen saw his perplexed look and smiled slightly as he said softly "You can fix this Kanda." Sighing he just replied slowly "Baka moyashi." Allen gritted his teeth "Its Allen bakanda." Kanda just looked up out of the corner of his eye and smirked at Allen. Then he looked back over to Alana and the smirk faded as he wished it was his shoulder she was resting on but he had screwed that up royally with his incapableness to relate feelings or emotions. So he just lifted his head and stared out the window.

As they got into the town everyone was getting ready to get off as Alana walked by Kanda he tried to slightly smile at her but she just stared at him with hurt in her eyes as if to say _'Why?_' as his smile fadedand he let her walk in front of him. Everyone entered the town and Kanda was anxious as usual to find the akuma and innocence and get the job done so he, Allen and Lavi went out to search for the akuma while the girls searched the town. Lenalee started a conversation with Alana by saying "You know Kanda isn't really good with talking about what's bothering him. He usually keeps everything bottled up." Alana just turned to her and sadly replied "Yeah" Lenalee figured she didn't want to talk about things either and it was sort of worrying her because she had seen a change in Kanda those first weeks they were together. Now they both just seemed completely miserable and sad although Kanda didn't show sadness Lenalee could see it in his eyes after knowing him for so long she could tell when something was bothering him and she knew this was killing him. She also knew that sooner or later it would come to a head and Kanda would have to express his feelings in a positive or negative release because he couldn't keep them bottled up forever. Hoping to herself it would be in a positive way because by the looks of Alana she knew if it was a negative way that they both would probably be hurt beyond repair.


	4. Chapter 4

Where Do We Go From Here? Chap.4

As the girls walked down the street they noticed the huge smoke and explosions coming from outside of town. Chevi turned to the others "I guess they found the akuma." Lenalee nodded as they began to run in that direction but Alana just stood there for a moment thinking _'I don't know if I can do this right now. I feel so weak'_ Just then Chevi stopped and turned around to yell "COME ON ALANA!" Alana looked up and slightly smiled as she gathered all the strength she could and began to run to catch up to them. When they reached the outskirts of the town they saw the guys were in a huge battle with the akuma. Taking an assessment of the situation they all split up to help the guys. Kanda had been chased into the forest by three akuma where he had activated first illusion and was fighting feverishly. As Alana entered the forest she spotted him and stopped for a moment to watch him. He was a skilled, graceful fighter. Graceful? That was a word she never thought she would use to describe Kanda but he was. Every step and move he took was like poetry in motion and she was a little taken in with him till she realized there was an akuma coming at her. Shaking her head back to the fight and off the mesmerizing samurai in front of her she ran for a tree and in three steps ran up the trunk to balance herself on a limb.

Pulling her whip from her side she began to lash at the akuma and took it out with one swipe of the leather tether that was like an extension of her arm. She could see everyone else fighting as she watched Allen getting closer to them with an akuma on his tail. Running into the forest Allen stopped and braced his akuma weapon in the air waiting for the unsuspecting akuma. When it flew through the two trees he took it out with a few shots then turned to see another coming from the other direction and began to battle that one. Behind her Alana could hear Kanda in a fierce fight with his akuma as two explosions happened and she turned to see if he was okay. She then saw the akuma flying straight for her as she braced herself to swipe her whip again but that's when it happened. Everything went blurry and she felt really lightheaded as she began to sway back and forth on the tree branch as the akuma shot at her. All she heard was her name being yelled from below in a familiar voice "ALLLLAAAANA" It was him the man she had grown to love but as she looked down at him everything went black and she felt herself free falling. Kanda looked up in time to see her start to fall and her name left his lips in a scream. He acted without hesitation as he yelled at Allen "MOOOOYAAASHI" Allen turned to see what was happening and went into action to protect Kanda and Alana. Kanda started running for the tree as an akuma flew right between him and where Alana was falling. Without any second thought he unsheathed Mugen and jumped onto the head of the akuma, taking his sword through it as he went before jumping for the tree and landing on the trunk, pushing off and flying through the air to wrap his arms around her. They both sailed through the air as Kanda turned his body to where he would land first, they hit the ground and Kanda held onto her tightly as he prayed over in his head _'Please, please tell me you weren't hit'_ He opened his eyes as he looked down at the top of her head lying on his chest and he closed them again feeling her against him. Then his eyes shot open as he raised her face up looking for any sign of the stars to appear which meant she had been shot by the akuma. Pushing her softly off him he knelt beside her. Her eyes fluttered as she looked at him then they slowly closed again "Alana talk to me!" He said frantically as his eyes searched her over and he shook her some but realizing she wasn't waking up he got worried as the rest of them walked up. Lavi smiled hugely " The akuma are gone." He said then he looked down at Alana "What happened?" Kanda shook his head slowly "I have no idea she just passed out" He said sliding his arm under her legs and the other around her shoulders as he stood up holding her. Allen looked around then back to the town "Come on I think there was an inn in the town. We'll take her there." Everyone began to walk towards town as Kanda stared down at her face. His heart was trying to beat normally after the scare she had given him when he saw her falling. Looking down at her he realized that he could have lost her and he didn't even know what had happened to her. This whole situation between them had gotten way out of hand and he felt it was his fault for not being able to talk to her. He had always dealt with things in his own way and that was usually not talking about it but that had made his heart hard. He figured that this was not that type of situation to do this with but he just couldn't figure out what to say to her without sounding like a complete asshole.

They had gotten some rooms at the inn and Kanda put her in a bed as he stood by the door of the room. Staring at her he tried to think of his life without her now and that was something he didn't want to think about as Lenalee opened the door with a bowl of soup to see him standing there, head down and eyes closed. When he heard the door shut his head came up and his eyes opened to see her smiling face "Don't worry Kanda I'm sure she'll be fine." She could tell by his tightened muscles and distant eyes that he was truly worried. His mind was racing with questions about what had happened. He watched as Lenalee walked over and took a rag from the bowl of water next to the bed and rung it out, folding it she placed it on Alana's forehead. She then turned to him and softly said "Kanda why don't you go get some rest I'll watch over her." Shaking his head slowly he sternly replied "No I'm not budging till she wakes up." Lenalee figured it was no use trying to get him to do anything right now so she went on with taking care of Alana.

He stood in that room like a statue for two hours till he finally saw her eyes began to flutter and then open. He went to move but the cold stare she gave him made him stop in his tracks. He was relieved she was awake but now came the hard part for him as he asked Lenalee "Could you leave us alone for a minute?" Lenalee looked at Alana and gave her a reassuring look that she was sure Kanda had something important to say then she got up and walked out the door.

Alana looked around then began to sit up but she was having some trouble so Kanda walked over and went to help her but she pushed his hand away "I don't need your help." She said coldly and he knew he deserved it as he reached back and pulled the chair up to sit in it. She finished sitting herself up as she looked around the room "Where are we?"

"In an inn. You passed out and wouldn't wake up so we decided to find a place for you to rest." He said as he stared at her waiting for her to tell him what had happened but she was very unresponsive to him and he figured she had the right to be. So he remembered what Allen had told him about speaking from his heart and he took a deep breath and began to speak "Alana look" He sighed and paused for a moment "I'm not very good with things like this." She gave him a strange look as she tried to decide if she wanted to hear what he had to say or not. So she sat there staring at him while he continued "Look I don't know what happened to us." She interrupted right then and snapped "I do you got pissed off at me for stopping you from killing someone over kissing me and truthfully Kanda you have never really had a relationship where you had to trust your partner." He knew what she said was right as he stared at her then nodded in agreement "Hai your right." Then she laid it out for him straight up and to the point "I can't do this whole hot and cold thing with you. I can't be hot and heavy one minute then you treat me coldly because you don't like that things didn't turn out **your** way." His eyes widened as he stared at her "I want more Kanda and if you can't give me that then we have nothing further to discuss." In all his life he had never had anyone say such things to him and he was actually speechless that she had just said those things to him. It frustrated him that he couldn't come up with the right words to say to her and when he did speak it was exactly as he had figured it would be it was cold and unfeeling "Fine then I guess we have nothing further to discuss then till **I** figure out what **I** want to do." She stared at him blankly not believing what he had just said and **he** realized what he had just said but before he could open his mouth to tell her that wasn't what he wanted to say he saw tears weld up in her eyes and she said "Get out! Just leave!" His heart sank and he felt he had just fucked that up too _'Why did I say till I figure out what_ I_ want to do?'_ He thought as he stood up to comply with her wishes of him leaving the room but now he knew he had just pushed her as far away from him as he had anyone else in his life. He stormed out the door and slammed it as Allen looked at Chevi and she got up and went into the room to see Alana crying "He's such a JERK!" She yelled through her tears "I don't even know what I ever saw in him." She then remembered their time together and how their chemistry merged into some of the most passionate moments two people could ever share.

Allen decided to take his life in his hands and follow Kanda and as he walked through the streets he found him leaning up against a tree. Upon walking closer Allen saw something he never thought he'd ever see, a single tear rolled down Kanda's cheek as he said softly "K-Kanda?" Kanda startled to hear Allen's voice reached up and wiped the tear from his cheek then turned to Allen "What! Moyashi!" Allen felt his heart go out to Kanda as he walked forward towards him and sat on the ground by Kanda's feet "I see now Kanda. I see your pain." He looked up at the samurai who was staring straight ahead trying to compose himself after someone seeing a weakness and Allen smiled slightly "You do love her." Kanda's eyes shifted downward to look at Allen and then he slide his back down the tree to a sitting position as he exhaled "Yes but I screwed that one up to just now. I pushed her further away than I have ever pushed anyone with just a few words." Allen always looked at things optimistically as he turned and gave Kanda one of his huge smiles "I'm sure everything will work out Kanda." Kanda shook his head looking at Allen's smiling face _'How can he always be so positive?'_ He thought as he sighed "Hai moyashi I hope your right." But this was something Kanda knew he wouldn't be able to fix with just a few words. He had saw the look in her eyes when he said what he did and he knew she was deeply crushed. Leaning his head against the tree '_Why do I always say the wrong things? Why_ _can't I just tell her how I feel?'_ Thinking those thoughts he looked over at Allen who was watching the birds in the trees and slightly smiling. He realized that Allen had a free spirit and he had grown somewhat attached to that free spirit in Allen the past year. He also realized that as cold as he was to everyone they were always there for him because they considered him a friend even though he made them feel alienated from him. He sat there and went into deep thought about everything. He wasn't mad at her it was his pride that had been hurt. That was something he would have to get over. It wasn't that someone else kissed her that didn't mean anything to her, well okay it did upset him **alot** he admitted to himself. As he sat there he realized that Allen was right was he was in love with her? Is that why he couldn't imagine her not being in his life but he had just now singlehandedly with only a few words completely destroyed anything he could ever imagine to have with her. How could he ever take back what he had just said? How could he let her know she was the most important thing in his life right now and it was killing him inside for them to be like this to each other?

The next day Alana felt better to travel so the caught the train back to the Black Order with the innocence that Kanda and Lavi had found after they checked into the inn that night. Alana slept most of the way back and as they reached the Order she found her way to the infirmary. Where the nurses did some tests on her and then about two hours later Komui came to see her. He sat next to the bed and he sighed "Alana we found out what the problem is." She sat up ready to hear the worst when he turned to her "Your pregnant." She wasn't expecting that as she got a blank stare and repeated softly "Pregnant?" Komui shook his head slowly yes as he leaned closer to her "Alana who's the father? Is he an exorcist here?" She didn't want to bring Kanda into this so she just sighed as her gaze went to the floor "No." Now Komui was confused, he had heard about the harassment that Lazard was giving her from Lavi and he began to think the worst as he thought back on how Kanda was acting. _'Did Lazard do something to her that Kanda had found out about? Is that why Kanda was so protective of her?'_ These were the questions that flowed through his mind when she wouldn't tell him who the father was. He sat back and placed his hand to his chin "Alright then if you're not going to tell me how this happened I can't force it out of you." She then looked up and softly replied "Please don't tell anyone and I'd like to be transferred to the Asian branch please in the next few days." Komui's eyes softened as he leaned forward towards her "You don't have to do that we can make other arrangements for you Alana." His number one thought right now was to find out what happened to her and how she ended up this way. "NO! I want to be transferred" she protested than begged him "Pleeease Komui I can't stay here." He could tell she was getting upset so he finally agreed "Alright I'll write out the paperwork this afternoon and you can leave in the morning." Standing up he turned to exit the room and she gave one last plea to him "Komui please, please don't tell anyone about this." He turned and slightly smiled at her thinking she was afraid of something or someone and he reassured her "I promise Alana I won't tell anyone." But he was going to try to get to the bottom of this, this was the first time anything like this had happened while he was in charge and when the higher up's found out about it they would want answers.

Later that afternoon Kanda and Lavi were sent out on a mission unaware of what was to come when he got back Kanda was in okay spirits. He and Lavi had found the innocence and taken down the akuma in less than three days and they were on their way back to the Order. When they arrived Kanda went straight to his room unaware that Alana had left three days before. He showered and went to the cafeteria, ordering his soba noodles he got them and sat down to eat. Watching ever so patiently to see her walk through the doors to get dinner but as he sat there for an hour she never showed. He wondered where she could be and why she hadn't come in for dinner. Was she out on a mission he hadn't heard about? Or was she still not feeling well or was she just avoiding him altogether? He finished his dinner and walked out of the cafeteria to see Allen standing at the end of the hall talking to Komui. When they were finished Allen turned to see Kanda and the look on his face told Kanda something wasn't right as he walked up. Just then Chevi came walking down the hall with her suitcase and Kanda looked at her "Where are you off too?" She slightly smiled "I'm joining Alana in her new branch." Kanda's eyes widened "New branch?" Allen slowly looked at the floor "Yes Kanda it seems while you were gone she asked for a transfer." His heart completely stopped for a moment as he processed what Allen had just told him. Shaking his head slowly he repeated "Transfer?" Looking up his eyes narrowed and they could see he was furious "WHERE!" Allen and Chevi both flinched at his reaction "W-We don't know. K-Komui wouldn't tell us." Chevi sighed as she walked next to him "I won't find out till I'm on my way. That's the way she wanted it, she didn't want anyone to know where she was." Kanda's blood started to boil as he stormed off down the hall "KOMUUUIIII!" he yelled as he punched the wall in the hallway. Clinching his fist together he felt like he couldn't breathe, His heart was beating so fast from just the fear of losing her he wasn't thinking correctly as he slammed through Komui's office door and demanded "WHERE IS SHE?!" Komui looked up at the now pissed off samurai standing in front of him, eyes narrowed, and breathing erratic as his chest rose up and down.

"Ah Kanda just the person I wanted to talk to." Komui figured that Lazard had attacked Alana and did unspeakable things to her so he transferred Lazard to the North American branch without hesitation to get him away from her. He also figured Kanda had grown attached to her by protecting her and that's why he was so pissed so he held his hands out in front of him "Don't worry Kanda she's safe I have taken every precaution to make sure that asshole doesn't touch her again." Now Kanda was confused did something happen while he was gone? Did someone attack her? "What the hell are you talking about baka kuso yarou?" Komui sighed as he waved his hand "Kanda do you honestly have to call me an idiot shithead?" Kanda huffed as his eyes narrowed and he glanced sideways "Che" away from Komui then he said softly "You better tell me what the hell happened Komui! Did someone do something to her?" It was then he turned and slammed his hands down against Komui's desk "TELL ME!" Komui saw Kanda was more upset about this then he thought he should be "I can't tell you anymore than she's safe." Kanda stood up and turned his head to the side again "Che" he felt the urge to want to walk around and slam Komui's face into his desk but he fought that urge as he turned and stormed out of his office leaving Komui puzzled over the situation "Well now that was peculiar. I've never seen him act that way before." Then he shrugged his shoulders "What am I talking about he always acts that way."

Kanda was on a pure rampage at this point as he slammed into people in the halls trying to get to his room. Holding back all the feelings that were surging through his body at this point he reached his room and shut the door. Leaning against it he felt his heart had been ripped out of his chest as he slid down it letting his head fall into his hands '_Your gone? Why? Why would you leave?'_ Then his face came up quickly as he remembered the last words he said to her and a tear began to flow down his cheek _'I…I…love….you'_ he finally admitted it to himself. The burning he felt flowing through his heart at that point was something he never thought he'd feel again, loss and pure heart stopping pain. He felt numb and empty again only this time it was like slipping into a black abyss he couldn't escape from as his hands began to shake and he stood up and grabbed the table and flipped it into the air "AHHHHHHH" he then turned and stared at the lotus flower in the glass case "What good are you to me anymore if I don't have her?" He picked it up and reared his arm back to throw it but stopped and standing there holding it he came to the conclusion that he would never feel the same again as he did when she was there. Bringing his arm down and walking over to his bed and sat down dropping his head and staring at the flower in his hand. His face was emotionless and a distant look crossed it like he was searching his memories for something to hold onto. He sat the Glass case on the floor and slammed back on his bed only to have a familiar scent fill his nose '_Her perfume'_ He thought as he grabbed the pillow and raised it to his nose slowly inhaling the scent of her perfume. Everyone had heard him yell inside his room moments before but as all his friends stood outside his door feeling helpless they felt his pain in his scream and the huge crash of something being broken moments before. They were all there to support him when he needed it so they made themselves comfortable and just waited because right now he had to come to terms with everything and his true feelings.


	5. Chapter 5

Where do we go from here? Chap.5

An hour later Kanda's bedroom door opened and everyone stood up to see him exit the room. His hair down, his eyes puffy and he had a distant look in them as he stared at everyone conflicting the whole persona of his normal self. Lenalee walked forward to comfort him "Kanda?" But he stopped her by putting his hand up. While locked in his room for that hour he came to a decision and that was to find the woman he loved and tell her how he really felt even if he screwed it up but he wanted her to know she was his life right now and he couldn't live without her. Looking at his friends he lifted his head slowly "I need your help to help me find out where she went." The saddened look on his face was enough to make them all agree they needed to find her because they had never seen him in this state before.

As the days drug on and everyone searched for clues of where Alana could have been transferred Kanda's mood proceeded to get worse than before he had ever met her. He was arguing and fighting with everyone. He even picked a fight with four finders just to kick the shit out of someone. It got to the point where Allen picked a fight with **him** to keep him from beating anyone else up. As they both were scolded by Komui lying in the infirmary Kanda's mind was still on the one who he missed terribly.

It was a few days later when Allen was in Komui's office waiting for him to come in for a briefing. He happened to glance down at some papers on Komui's desk and his eyes widened as he reached for it and picked it up and read it. It said that Alana had been transferred to the Asian branch on her own request due to her being pregnant. Allen's eyes widened as he stuffed the paper in his shirt just as Komui came in the door "Oh Allen I've changed my mind on sending you. I think this job would be better for Lavi and Lenalee." Allen smiled slightly and turned anxiously to walk out but instead he found himself running yelling over his shoulder "THANKS KOMUI YOUR RIGHT!" Komui sat his coffee cup down and smirked "Well that was strange."

Allen ran to the cafeteria to see if Kanda was there but he wasn't. So he checked the meditation room next but no Kanda. _'Where the hell is he?_' He thought as he ran to Kanda's room and knocked on the door. A few seconds later Kanda opened the door looking slightly out of sorts, his hair completely scuffled "M-Moyashi what brings you here?" Allen put his hand on Kanda's chest and pushed him back into the room while shutting the door behind him. "What the hell?" Kanda asked angrily as Allen reached in his shirt and pulled the paper out and handed it to him "Here you need to read this." Kanda took the paper and walked over to the other side of the room and after he read it he sat slowly on his bed and slightly looked up at Allen "S-S-She's Pregnant?" Allen smiled slightly "Yeah I guess you're going to be a father Kanda." It took Kanda a few moments to process what he had just learned then he slightly grinned stupidly "A-A father. I-I-I'm going to be a father." Then he got confused but finally realized that's what Komui was talking about that day. He figured Lazard had done something to Alana and that's why he transferred him. Still not understanding why she didn't tell him he then remembered how they had left things between them and his last words to her, now he felt like a real big asshole. He stood up quickly and stumbled as he grabbed his brush and began to try to run it through his hair and put his hair in a ponytail "Kanda what are you doing?" Allen asked surprised to see him stumbling through his steps and more like raking his hair instead of brushing it. Kanda turned to Allen and his words slurred "I c-can't set her do tis on her hown. It's my child and…and I-I'll be rammed if I'm oing to let her set away from me warrying my child." Allen grabbed his arm hearing his words slur and Kanda snarled at him "Kanda its 11:00 pm you can't very well go marching out of here at this hour without causing suspicion." Kanda sighed because he knew Allen was right "KUUUUSO!" he said turning, kicking the bed but he fell backwards some and Allen caught him, it was then Allen smelled the alcohol on his breath "Besides you've been drinking and I don't think you want to talk to her drunk."

He had to admit he was buzzed off the sake he had drank and he wasn't really in the right state of mind to talk to her about a baby. Allen sat him back up on his feet and they both sat on his bed as he grabbed the bottle of sake and turned to Allen "Soooo moyashi do you want to celebrate with me on becoming a father?" Allen smiled and slightly declined and Kanda frowned. Noticing the frown and the death stare Allen laughed and smiled nervously "S-Sure K-Kanda I'd love too." Kanda then turned and grabbed a cup and poured some sake in it and handed it to Allen with a warning "Sip don't gulp." As Kanda turned around Allen tilted the cup up and drank the whole thing and wiped his mouth as Kanda turned around "That was good." Kanda's eyes widened then he did something no one had ever saw him do he laughed "Hai moyashi but in about one minute you're going to f-" He didn't even get the sentence out before he saw Allen's eyes gloss over and start to droop as Allen grinned stupidly at him "K-K-Kanda why is the room spinning?" Kanda reached up and scratched his head then both of them burst out laughing. During their drunkenness they had a few heart to heart talks as they both told each other how they felt. Allen hung on Kanda's shoulder "I fuckin love you maaaan but you always piss me off so bad." Kanda laughed at Allen and answered "I KNOW! I get such great pleasure watching you get pissed off moy-moyahsi" Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was just their inner thoughts but that night Kanda and Allen cleared up a lot of things. Kanda told Allen when he first met him he wanted to just kill him. But after a while his outlook on life had inspired Kanda to strive to see the better in people. Allen informed Kanda that he made him want to be a better exorcist and by watching him he had learned to do just that.

It was a couple of hours later when Lavi was walking through the hall and he heard laughter coming from Kanda's room. Stopping outside the door all he heard was "Put your legs down Moyashi" And he heard Allen reply "Kanda I'm going to get bruises." Kanda replied "Shut up or I'll give you more." Lavi's mouth hit the ground as he put his shaking hand up to the door knob '_Yu what are you doing to Allen?' _ His perverted mind took over then he heard a huge crash from the room and the sound of muffled laughter and he couldn't take it anymore as he flung the door open to find Kanda face down on the floor and Allen sitting on his back "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING?" he yelled eyes widened at the sight before him as Kanda looked up "Ca- can you get the moy moyashi off me? He wheezed out as Allen leaned down by Kanda's ear and kept calling his name "Kanda. Kaaanda. Kaaaaaaanda." Lavi walked over scratching his head "What the hell's wrong with him?" Just then Allen looked up at Lavi and grinned stupidly "Heeeeeey Laaaavi" then his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell over face first on the floor. Kanda reached back and pushed his legs off him and sat up and in a slurred voice "H-Heeee's drink" then he burst out laughing and fell over onto his back on the floor. Lavi stood there dumbfounded at the sight before him as he asked one simple question "How much has he had to drink?" Kanda stopped laughing and raised his hand with two fingers up "Just one drunk." Lifting his hand to his face and running it down to his chin Lavi figured he needed to clean this mess up as he reached down and grabbed Kanda's hand and pulled him off the floor, Kanda fell into him and whispered slurring his words "Hey, hey Lavi I'm going to be farther." Not understanding what Kanda was saying Lavi moved his face due to the smell of alcohol that was coming from Kanda's mouth as he smiled cheekily "That's great Yu" Wrapping Kanda's arm around his shoulder he led Kanda to his bed and sat him down as Kanda grabbed the front of Lavi's shirt and pulled his face into his "You know" Kanda stuck his finger in Lavi's face "Y-You're the only one I'll let call me that and not kill." Lavi pushed him backwards on the bed "Yeah I know you scary psychopath." He then leaned down grabbing Kanda's feet and picked them up placing them on the bed "Say goodnight Yu" Kanda smiled stupidly raised his hand and waved half ass "G-Good night Yuuuu" then he passed out. Lavi walked over and picked Allen up off the floor and went to open the door but the hall was filled with people and he couldn't very well sport a drunk Allen to his room so he turned and shrugged his shoulders as he threw Allen in the bed next to Kanda. They both were snoring heavily as Lavi sighed "Geez leave it to you two to do something this stupid." He then grabbed a blanket and sat down against the wall and a few minutes later they were all sleeping.

Kanda's eyes opened slowly the next morning and he moaned due to the throbbing in his head. Trying to recall the events of the night he suddenly felt someone shift next to him and he turned his head to come face to face with Allen as his eyes widened "Moy-Moyashi?" Allen sighed never opening his eyes and said in a low voice "Ssssh just five more minutes." Kanda sat straight up in bed "MOYASHI!" Allen jolted awake, sat straight up and clocked his head against Kanda's "Ahhhh" they both said in unison grabbing their heads as Lavi opened his eyes "Hey can you two shut up I'm trying to sleep here." Kanda looked to Lavi and back to Allen then his bed wondering how the hell Allen ended up in bed with him. Allen looked down wondering the same thing as they both separated quickly with Kanda almost falling off the bed. Lavi laughing at both their reactions "You should have seen the two of you last night you'd have thought you were old buddies." He threw the blanket off and held Timcampy up "Want a preview?" Both of them groaned as they protested "No. No that's okay we don't need a review" Allen said as he turned to Kanda "What the hell did you give me to drink last night? I don't remember half the night." Kanda just smirked "Sake moyahsi and you only had one cup full." He chuckled "Light weight" Allen eyes widened as he screamed "AHHH KANDA I REMEMBER RIDING YOUR BACK LAST NIGHT!" Kanda put his hand over Allen's mouth "Let's not share that with anyone moyashi." Lavi laughed and stood up "We have it on tape Yu" Kanda grabbed Mugen and unsheathed the katana and threatened Lavi within an inch of his life. Lavi gave in easily knowing that Allen had probably helped Kanda last night and that they probably got over most of their disagreements or so he thought as they both started arguing again and Lavi threw a pillow at them both "Hey I liked you two better drunk at least you got along."

Kanda needing a shower to get the events of last night out of his head he suddenly remembered the news that Allen had given him _'I'm going to be a father'_ He tried to imagine himself as a father as he stepped into the shower. He knew if it was a boy he would teach him all he knew about fighting and swordsmanship. If it was a girl he'd protect her with his life from every evil thing in the world. Then his face saddened but first he would have to win back Alana and the only way he figured to do that was to try to talk to her.

At the Asian branch Chevi and Alana had just come back from a mission and Alana was wore out. She figured she was about a month along due to when her last menstrual cycle was so that would put her getting pregnant the second time her and Kanda slept together. Chevi was glad to come with her friend but she missed the boy she had a crush on terribly and that was one white haired exorcist that could do four hundred push-ups single handed. God she loved to watch him do push-ups and work out he was so cute and nice and his smile melted her heart. Alana had told Chevi she wasn't going to let this child turn out cold and emotionless like its father. She wanted to bring it up knowing it was loved and had someone it could depend on. Chevi turned to Alana "Why didn't you tell Kanda? You know he's going to be pissed when he finds out." Alana smiled softly as she touched her stomach "I really don't think Kanda will care. He didn't seem too interested in a future with me so what makes you think he'd want to be a part of this child's life. I don't want him to do it out of responsibility I wish he would do it because he loves me." Chevi sighed as she rolled her eyes "Oh Alana he loves you more than you know. You didn't see him after you guys talked that day. He just doesn't know how to put what he feels into words and it always comes out wrong." As they walked down the hall Chevi explained to her how hurt Kanda was when he found out she had been transferred and told her he went completely ballistic. He had even went to the point of being meaner to people than he usually was. Alana just sighed "Well if that's the case why doesn't he come talk to me? Where is he? I know if I loved someone there's nothing that would keep me away."

Kanda and Allen were called into Komui's office later that day and he informed them he was sending them to India it seemed that some new things had come up there with a manifestation of akuma. Kanda sighed loudly because this would hinder his going after Alana. Allen then smiled slightly "Okay we'll go." Kanda looked at Allen and his eyes narrowed until Allen raised a brow at him "Komui I would like to stop by the Asian branch on the way home to see Bak and Fou and thank them again for all they're help." Kanda smirked some as he shook his head at Allen _'Clever moyashi'_ he thought as Komui smiled and waved his hand in front of him then he passed them the mission briefs "Sure after you finish you can visit whoever you want."

Entering India was strange with all the different customs and foods. Kanda and Allen were having trouble finding things to eat. Kanda thought the food was too spicy and of course they didn't have soba noodles anywhere and he swore he'd starve to death before they found the innocence. Allen just laughed at his complaining and Kanda thought that was quit ironic seeing how Allen ate more than he did in three days in one single setting. Allen looked around and sighed "Oh my God Kanda we are going to die of starvation before this is over." Kanda just turned his head "Che" then he realized they could eat fish but after fishing most of the day they had only caught two. After cooking it and tasting it Kanda came to the same conclusion Allen did earlier because the fish tasted terrible as he spit it out "Hai Moyashi we are going to starve to death" he said making a very disgruntled face. Allen just smiled one of bright smiles "Don't worry Kanda I'm sure we can find something." Both of them were walking along, stomachs growling and frowning when they came upon what seemed to be a farm and their noses were hit with the sweet aroma of food as they both drooled and smiled "Foooooood" the word lingered out of Allen's mouth accompanied by some drool. Kanda just scowled realizing that the farm was owned by a family and they probably didn't have enough to feed themselves. So grabbing Allen by the back of his jacket Kanda stared pulling him away as Allen protested. That's when there was a voice coming from behind them "Excuse me but are you two lost?" A man asked in an Indian accent. Allen jerked his jacket out of Kanda's hand "Uh yeah we have heard there's been some strange occurrences around here and we came to investigate." The man smiled slightly "I see well if you'd like to come in I can tell you about some of them." Allen smiled hugely and shook his head while Kanda still wore a scowl. As they listened to the man tell them about the strange things that had been happening Kanda's mind wondered to Alana. He wondered how she was and if she was okay? He also wondered how he was going to talk to her when he saw her. He figured he would just tell her what his heart and he wanted. Just then a young girl placed a bowl in front of him and his eyes shot open "I'm sorry were you sleeping?" Kanda looked down at her "No just thinking." She grinned widely "Good I would have hated to wake you up." She pointed to the table "Here father said to give you some food." Kanda looked down and the smell rose to his nose. It smelled good but he wondered if it had a lot of those spices in it like the other stuff they had tried. But looking around he noticed they seemed poor and he wasn't going to be disrespectful to them offering him food so he figured he'd make due. But as he took a bite he found it was quit delicious and hardly any spices so he turned to the girl and slightly nodded "Thank you." She just grinned and skipped off as he sat there and ate while Allen and the old man continued talking about all the commotion that had happened near their village. After dinner and all the talking was done the old man told them they could sleep in his barn if they liked. So they took the man up on his offer because looking around they didn't see any other alternative except sleeping in the open and that was something they didn't want to do in a strange country and both were exhausted to the point of collapse. They must have walked over seven miles then wasting all that time fishing and then walking another three miles to this farm.

Walking into the barn they looked around seeing it was filled with animals, Kanda sighed as he scanned the upper part of the barn where the hay was stored and he pointed to it "Moyashi up there." So they climbed the ladder and found some hay and sat down. It only took Allen a few moments to fall asleep but Kanda sat up for a while thinking about the woman he had let walk out of his life. How could he have been so stupid to let this get this far? How could he not see that he had hurt her so deeply? Well he saw that he had pushed her away but he was planning on fixing that but she had left him and of all things she was carrying his child and hadn't even told him. Could she be that hurt? Does she think I don't care? Did she think I wouldn't want the child? Did she do it to protect herself and the child? These were all the questions he had swirling around in his head. He finally laid himself down in the hay and closed his eyes trying to get some sleep before tomorrow but every time he closed his eyes he saw the look on her face that last day when she told him to get out and it nearly ripped his heart in two.


	6. Chapter 6

Where do we go from here? Chap.6

The next morning Kanda awoke to find Allen had been up for hours as he sat up and stretched his back was sore from sleeping on the hay "Why didn't you wake me sooner now we've lost time baka moyashi" he scowled as Allen turned from where he was looking out of the barn at the sunrise "I know you were up late last night and I know how you get if you don't get your beauty rest." He said laughing as Kanda's eyes narrowed as he snarled "What was that?" But Allen just smiled "Its fine Kanda it's still early don't get upset you needed the rest. You were exhausted and I know you're worried about Alana." Kanda face softened and he sighed "Does it show that bad?" Allen walked over to him and sat down feeling he could tell Kanda the truth "It's actually written all over your face." Kanda realized his mind was in two different places and he had to get it back in the game at hand or he could get him and Allen seriously hurt "Okay moyashi I hear you." Allen stood up and stretched "Well then now that you're up maybe we should go check out that place the man told us about last night." Kanda stood moving his shoulders around because they were stiff "Fine let's go we've wasted enough time resting here." Sounding like the old Kanda Allen chuckled as they set out to search the area the man told them about last night.

Back at the Asian branch Alana had made herself comfortable out in the gardens and she took out a book. Chevi had informed her that Lavi told her Allen and Kanda had been on a mission for two weeks now and no one had heard from them. She couldn't help but worry even though she and Kanda were no longer together it didn't mean she had stopped loving him. She hoped they were okay because she didn't want to have to explain to their child that its father was dead or missing. Opening the book she tried to occupy her time but her mind kept wandering back to what had transpired between them that day in the inn when he said what he did. As she thought back she realized that what he said and the look in his eyes were completely different. He had such pain and confusion in his eyes when he said it. Thinking to herself maybe she had acted hastily telling him to get out because he had hurt her with his words. He did have a hard time verbally communicating with people and maybe he had never had to tell anyone the way he felt. Maybe he was just used to being alone. She could have kicked herself in the ass at that point realizing he wasn't going to change overnight. But if what Chevi told her was true and that he did love her then why were they so bad at communicating with each other? She had told him that day what she wanted and he just replied coldly. But she never did give him a chance to explain why he said what he did. She was beginning to think maybe this thing between them was one big mix up and if anything happened to him right now she would regret it for the rest of her life. She swore to herself when he made it back she would tell him about the baby. Chevi was right on that point he did need to know and it wasn't fair to him for her not to tell him.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and still no one had heard from Allen or Kanda. The Black Order sent out a message to all exorcists and finders to keep an eye out for them. Their own finder had never met up with them in India. After being questioned when he returned he explained he had waited for a week at the place they were supposed to meet but hey never showed. Everyone was getting worried and thinking the worst. Komui was at his wits end not knowing what had happened to them and it wasn't like Kanda not to check in.

Alana feared the worst and she was in a deep depression thinking Kanda and Allen were either hurt severely or worse. She rarely slept and Chevi was beginning to worry about her and the baby being at a critical point where she could easily miscarry from stress. She didn't know what to do for her friend except be with her and watch out for her. Her little tummy now had a small baby bump on it. Barely anything anyone who didn't know her would notice but those close to her could see it right away. It was the not knowing that was driving Alana crazy she had even asked if she could go look for them but was declined in her request. The Black Order didn't want any more exorcists out there just in case there was something killing them or capturing them.

It was three weeks later and Alana tried to calm herself with meditation, she figured since it helped Kanda focus then maybe it would help her. She sat in the garden meditating when all of a sudden Chevi came running in out of breath "ALANA THEY ARE HERE!" Alana looked up startled and surprised "Who?" Chevi was overly excited as she blurted out "ALLEN AND KANDA!" Her heart started to beat faster as she felt a calmness come over her body knowing that he was now there and alive. Looking back at Chevi she smiled a grateful smile as she watched Chevi turn and yell over her shoulder as she ran down the hall "COME ON I KNOW YOU WANT TO SEE HIIIIM!" Alana sat there as she gathered her thoughts of what she was going to say to him. It had been two and a half months since they had talked.

Chevi ran up to Allen throwing her arms around his neck "ALLLLEN" He grinned a startled grin as he then smiled brightly "Chevi it's good to see you." She looked up at Kanda who was searching the hall and grinned "Hello Kanda she's in the gardens down the hall, second door on the right." He looked at Chevi and nodded "Thank you." he almost ran down the hall as Chevi looked back at Allen confused "He's in a hurry." Allen chuckled "Well he's a man on a mission right now and I don't think he's going to take no for an answer."

Alana still gathering her thoughts was just about to get up when she felt someone behind her and she froze staring straight ahead. "A-Alana" he said softly and she lowered her gaze to the ground "Hello Kanda" she said in almost a whisper as he walked closer to her and she felt his hands come around her waist as they stopped on the small baby bump "Onna" he said softly as she turned her face to look over her shoulder and she smiled a cheeky smile "Surpriiiise I'm pregnant" He raised a brow at her and grinned slightly "Hai that you are." Then he kissed her softly on the lips and she felt every emotion she had felt while he was missing come to the surface as tears began to flow down her cheeks. Kanda leaned back and his eyes widened at the sight of her tears "Uh….Alana" he thought he did something wrong "What's the matter?" She got up on her knees and turned to face him, taking his face in her hands she smiled softly as her tears fell "I-I thought I'd lost you." Kanda relaxed and exhaled slightly "No I wouldn't die knowing I had to apologize to you for being so stupid." She smiled brightly and leaned closer to his face "Kanda" she said softly through a soft smile before placing her lips on his giving him a gentle soft kiss then hugging him tightly as he wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear "K-Koishiteru" she scrunched her brows together and leaned back and looked at him "What does that mean?" He grinned a slight grin and leaned closer to her face and looked into her eyes " It means I love you" and as he went for her lips with his he whispered "Onna" and before his lips could cover hers "I love you too Kanda." Kanda smiled into the kiss because he thought he had genuinely lost her forever but to hear her say that it made him truly happy.

Allen and Chevi were standing at the doorway and Chevi turned to Allen "Aww that's so sweet." Allen smiled that everything had worked out for Kanda. He had to admit he thought Alana might throw him out again but he told Kanda not to get mad or upset but just to say what was in his heart. But to Allen's surprise Alana had missed him also and she wasn't mad anymore. He turned to Chevi who had her arm around his shoulder and smiled "Yeah I'm glad they're talking" Just then Allen noticed the close proximity of his and Chevi's lips as she turned her head to look at him and before he knew it she leaned in and kissed him. His eyes widened and he felt a strange feeling as she held onto him but he didn't pull away from her. It was like he enjoyed being kissed by her and it was different then the time Road had kissed him. Chevi's lips were warm and soft and he liked her and he had to admit she was a very attractive girl. Chevi leaned back as Allen's cheeks turned pink and he shyly looked away "Uhhhhh I don't think we should tell your brother about that." He said nervously as she just giggled at his shyness and smiled "That's what I like about you Allen you're very modest." Allen turned to her and smiled "I like you too Chevi." It was then Allen realized he liked her a lot more than he let on remembering when she left the Order to be transferred he was sad and he missed her a lot when she first left. But right now he came to the conclusion he had always missed her but he had shoved it down to hide it from everyone. In his room late at night he would find himself thinking about her, the way her hair smelled, the way she smelled after she had just took a shower, her smile, her laugh, everything about her. Looking over at her now grinning like an idiot at Kanda and Alana he felt a strange feeling in his stomach, like it was being tied in knots. _'Could this be how Kanda_ _feels about Alana?' _He thought as he just stared at her and when she glanced back to him she saw the strange look on his face "Allen are you okay?" He then shook his head "Uh….yeah…I'm….fine."

Kanda leaned back from Alana and his gaze lowered to the ground as he spoke in a low tone "I have been such a fool Alana." Then looking back into her eyes she saw the look of fear in his as he spoke again "I almost let you walk out of my life forever because I was too proud and stupid to tell you how I really felt." He gently placed his hands on her upper arms "You are my life and I can't live without you." Shaking his head he sternly corrected himself "NO! I don't want to live without you." Lifting his eyes to hers with a very determined look in them "Ask me anything you want and I'll try to explain it to you." She just smiled softly at him "Uhhh first Kanda I think you should wash up." He hadn't even realized he still was covered in blood from the many fights he and Allen had been in. He was so concerned with getting to her that he hadn't washed up '_No wonder people were diving out of my way on the train_.' Smirking to himself '_I just thought it was my mesmerizing personality'_ Allen also looked a little disheveled so the girls pointed them to the showers post haste. Chevi and Alana had waited for about thirty minutes before they went to check on them and as they opened the door to Alana's room she snickered some at the sight before her and Chevi. Kanda was sprawled out across the bed with Allen curled in a ball next to him. As the two woman stood there and smiled "Kanda looks so cute when he sleeps" Alana said and as she did the toes on his left foot began to move around. Chevi chuckled staring at Allen as he snored some then out of the blue Allen's hand smacked Kanda in the face as he said "Ba-Kandaaaa" furiously. Kanda's hand went directly to Allen's as he grabbed it and threw it off "BAKA MOYASHIIII!" he said angrily in a low growl then they both turned away from each other with their backs together neither one ever opening an eye.

Alana sighed "Well that moment was ruined." Chevi just laughed "Yeah they even fight in their sleep." Turning to her friend Alana's stomach growled "Ready to get some dinner?" Chevi nodded as they both walked to the cafeteria leaving the guys to rest for a while. An hour later they returned to the room with food for the guys and when they opened the door they both stared at the two guys on the bed and had to hold their laughter in. Kanda sprawled out on his back again but Allen had turned and now his feet were over Kanda's stomach and his head was hanging off the side. Standing there both girls sighed "Awww" at the sight before then again. Just then Allen's legs began to move and Kanda put his hand on top of them slowly "Moyashi quit moving" he said softly, not grouchy as he yawned and turned his head to the side and Allen answered sleepily "Sssssh… Kanda…. go to sleep." The girls realized they had spent almost two straight months together and somehow they had learned to get along better. Chevi woke Allen up as Alana went over and woke Kanda up and as he tried to sit up he realized Allen's feet were on his stomach "DAMN IT ALLEN MOVE YOUR FEET!" He yelled still half asleep and everyone stopped what they were doing and stared wide eyed at him. '_Oh my god he just called me Allen'_ Allen thought but no one said anything as Kanda rubbed his eyes trying to focus on sitting up. He was exhausted it had been a long two months and he had fought vigorously to kill every akuma he saw. More like taking out his frustration on them well at least that's the way Allen saw it. It had helped Kanda he guessed work through everything he was facing and now he was a little more at ease since he had shown up here and Alana had missed him almost as much as he missed her. But as Allen sat there wide eyed staring at Kanda that he had called him by his name he almost missed him calling him short stack or moyashi. It was part of their relationship and it wasn't the same hearing his name come out of Kanda's mouth after the countless times he told him to call him that in a fit of anger. It didn't last long as Kanda turned to Allen and raised a brow at Allen's widened eye's and opened mouth "Oi moyashi did you hear me **move your feet!**" Kanda growled at him and he smiled "A-Alright Kanda" Kanda noticed the grin on Allen's face figuring Kanda hadn't realized he'd called him Allen "Oi what's with the stupid grin?" Allen just smiled "Uhhh nothing." Shaking his head in annoyance Kanda sat up and looked at Alana and she gave him a stern look as if to say _'Be nice' _seeing that Kanda just gave her a slight scowl as if to say _'I got it.'_ The girls handed the guys their food and both dug in like they hadn't ate in a month. When Allen finished he smiled at Chevi "Can you walk me back to the cafeteria I'm not quit full yet." She laughed and smiled widely "I didn't think you would be." Kanda just shook his head because they had spent most of their time in India trying to appease Allen's appetite which meant sometimes Kanda would not eat because he would give it to Allen so his stomach wouldn't keep him up.

Chevi held her hand out and Allen took it as she pulled him off the bed. Kanda noticed as they walked to the door she hadn't let go of it yet and he smirked 'The _moyashi has a girlfriend, he just doesn't know it yet'_ He thought as he looked down and continued eating as Alana crawled across the bed, stretched out on her back then closed her eyes. Kanda's eyes wondered up her body as he reached over and sat the bowl of noodles on the table next to the bed. Then he turned around and laid his head on her stomach and he said something in Japanese "Aneta ni aitai desu" she lifted up some and sweetly asked "What did you say?" he lifted his head some and smirked at her "I said I want to see you." She sighed slightly as she looked at this man who's demeanor at times could be so cold and she wondered what kind of father he would be. But as she watched him place his hand gently on her stomach and slightly smile as he stared at it she figured that deep inside Kanda's cold heart there had to be some kindness and love. He then turned to look up at her "Onna we have some things to discuss." She raised a brow at him "Oookay what do you want to talk about." He seemed in a very talkative mood tonight as he moved up closer to her face "I don't want to hold anything back from you anymore. I think you need to know the truth about me." She put her hand up to his face and caressed his cheek "Alright I'm listening."

Kanda began to explain to her about his past and the second exorcist program. He tried to explain it the best he could about what had happened to him. Then he explained to her about Alma. When he had finished she sat there staring blankly at him for a moment. Then she began to speak in a sort of frightened voice "Oookay so you were experimented on when you were younger." She then reached up and ran her hand down her face to her chin "Uh Kanda don't you think you should have told me this sooner?" He shrugged his shoulders "I didn't think it was relevant at the time and to tell you the truth my mind wasn't on my past when I was with you." He looked at her body and raised a brow at her and she sighed slightly. This was a lot for her to take in but she now understood his attitude a little more and why he was the way he was. He seemed to have had so much loss and heartache in his life and she sort of felt proud that he had decided to give his heart to her. He opened up to her that night like he had never opened up to anyone and he told her he had never planned on loving anyone else, but from the first time he laid eyes on her he knew that was impossible "Because you captured my heart right then" he told her softly. They sat and talked for hours that night till she finally fell asleep against his chest. Kanda laid very still being so careful not to wake her as he enjoyed feeling her next to him and he swore right then and there that nothing and no one was going to hurt her or his child. They were **his** and his alone, they were something that Kanda could actually call his own and the child was a living part of him that proved he really did exist and he wasn't just something the Black Order made. He swore he would give his life to protect them and that's what he planned to do.


	7. Chapter 7

Where do we go from here chap.7

Later that night as she lay sleeping Alana was awoken as she felt Kanda next to her, not wearing a stitch of clothing as his arm moved under her back and she instinctively turned towards him. He was lying on the bed with his back against the wall, he ran is hand down her side looping his finger in her underwear taking them down and dropped them to the floor. Pulling her leg up to his waist he then lifted her as she straddled his lap and as he looked up at her he had such passion in his eyes "I have missed you onna." He said softly as she ran her fingers through his hair then down his cheek softly "I have missed you too." Leaning his face forward he kissed her ever so gently as he began to move his hands up her sides feeling her slender body under them. Stopping before he reached her breasts he slightly grinned then took his thumb and began to massage the small part of them as it hardened. His sheer touch made her almost cry out in pleasure as she sat atop of him. Moving his lips closer to her mound of flesh he gently raised the T-shirt she was wearing and pulled it over her head, dropping it to the floor also. Moving in to take the small hardened part of her breast into his mouth ever so gently teasing her with his tongue. She felt the pure pleasure of his action deep inside her as she whispered "Kaaanda" leaning herself in further forward to press against his body. She had missed his touch almost as much as he missed touching her the soft movements of his hands along her body said it all feeling ever part of her. Lifting his head he pulled her closer to his mouth then kissed her slowly and passionately then as he took her mouth with his tongue the kiss became move hungry and deepened. Like he had been starved of her and now he wanted his fill. She could feel his hardness forming under her amongst her wetness as she moved her hips slowly which caused a slight groan to escape his lips.

Leaning back he gently lifted her and sat her atop his hardened shaft as it slid into her slowly and she let out a sigh of pleasure of him filling her completely. Wrapping her arms around him she caressed his hair as he buried his face in her chest and began to move slowly inside of her careful not to hurt her or get too carried away. He was being so gentle and passionate it was a side of him she had never felt or seen before. Their hands explored every part of each other as they rocked slowly back and forth and she thought she would explode from the sheer pleasure he was giving her. Leaning back he looked up at her and stared into her eyes and the only thing she saw in his was love as he gently took her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers then raised it up and kissed it softly. Those dark hard eyes that could normally make people shake in fear were full of passion and love and she felt he could see all the way to her soul. He picked up the pace some and she was moving to match his speed and she grabbed onto his shoulders to brace herself when he felt her walls tighten she felt on the verge of exploding. Reaching up he caressed her cheek and grinned "Wait for me" he whispered softly as she moaned in pleasure about to let her body release what she had been waiting for. Reaching around he grabbed her ass slightly and moved her back and forth at his speed as she moaned louder "K-KAAANDA" He was on the verge of his own climax as he groaned "Just…one …second" He said through gritted teeth from being on the verge and the sheer pleasure he was getting from taking her so sensually. As he moved her back and forth she gave into her body's release "I-I- c-can't w-wait" she said panting as he picked up the pace even more and the both were panting out of breath as he hit the spot deep inside her and she spilled all she was holding back. The feel of her moistness was enough to drive him crazy and he wanted to ram into her harder but he knew he had to be careful. It didn't take long for him to follow her to that blissful spot as he tensed up and released his seed deep inside her and when that happened she took his head to her bosom and caressed it. Both were breathing heavily and covered in sweat as he relaxed after a few convulsions. He began to lay soft kisses across her chest as she cradled his head and they both caught their breath as she twirled her fingers through his long hair. He glanced up at her then leaned back as he asked worriedly "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I?" She smiled softly down at him then cradled his face in her hands "If that was hurting me Kanda you can kill me anytime and I would enjoy dying." Placing his hand on her cheek he caressed it softly gazing into her eyes "I would never hurt or even try to kill you onna. I will protect you with my life because you are my life." It was silly she knew but right then she felt as though her world had just changed immensely. His words echoed in her head and she knew he would never let anything happen to her or their child.

The Kanda she knew when they were alone was the man she fell in love with, his touch, his gentleness, his in control completeness that brought her to the most exotic place she had ever been. He was different when he was with her and now that she knew more about him and his past she could love the whole man and not have one hidden from her like it felt before. She could try to mend that part of him that he felt was broken, to fill it with something that had meaning to him. As she slid off his lap and lay next to him he curled his arm around her and brought her head to rest on his chest. The tattoo that covered the left top of his chest she traced with her finger before lying her head on it and as he watched her he didn't know what to think about that. But he knew she had accepted him for who he was and he thought to himself as he lay there and kissed the top of her head gently as he held her _'I will become a better man for you onna. I do not ever want to see a frown, disappointment or tears cross your face again'_ He then felt her breathing even out and he knew she was asleep as he closed his eyes and drifted into his own dream world that consisted only of her.

When Alana awoke the next morning Kanda wasn't in the room and for a split second she thought she had dreamed the whole thing till she heard "Ahhh Moyashi would you go do your fucking push-ups somewhere else" He said in an aggravated tone. Allen just kept counting as he lifted himself with one hand "Two hundred and ninety eight, Two hundred ninety nine." Getting out of bed she walked to the window where she pulled the curtains back to see Kanda practicing with Mugen and Allen doing one handed push-ups as Chevi watched with huge puppy dog eyes. Smiling to herself she reached down and grabbed her underwear, put them on and got a pair of loose fitting pants. She only had one pair and they were getting a little snug as she tried to button them in frustration. That was the breaking point of her emotions as she screamed in frustration and began to sob. Kanda's keen ears picked the scream up, he frowned and then he turned and ran to the room with Chevi and Allen running after him asking "What was that?" Kanda got to the door and flung it open to find her curled up on the bed sobbing. His eyes widened at the sight before him as he sheathed Mugen and walked closer "Onna what is it?" He asked sternly and she looked up at him with tear filled eyes "IIIII'm faaaat" she screeched as he moved his eyes around the room for a second trying to figure out why she was crying over being fat? '_She's not fat she's pregnant' _ He thought as he went to walk forward more but Chevi stopped him by grabbing his arm and gave him a stern warning as she whispered "Choose your words carefully Kanda." His eyes widened, he swallowed hard, then nodded as he began walking towards Alana. Why did he feel like the rabbit walking towards the tiger before it jumped out and devoured it? Allen and Chevi both watched wide eyed as he knelt down by the bed and softly said "Onna you are not fat you are pregnant." She looked up at him as tears rolled down her face "Nothing I have fits me anymore and now these pants are getting tiiiiight." She burst out in more tears as Kanda tried to think of something to say so he thought for a moment the he smiled slightly "Well then I guess we should buy you something that fits." He said sternly at this point he would do anything to make her stop crying and if it was clothes she needed well then he was going to get her some clothes. She looked at up him and sniffled as a slight smile crossed her face "R-Reaaaally Kanda? We can do that?" He straightened his back and stood up and put his hand out to her "Anything you want it is yours." Alana jumped up and hugged his neck tightly "Thank you." She said happily as she turned and ran to the bathroom to freshen up for their shopping trip. Allen and Chevi smiled as Chevi gave him a thumbs up "That was smart Kanda." Kanda's shoulders dropped some as he sighed and leaned his head back. He would have to get used to these crying spells and mood changes Alana was going through all he knew was he needed to keep her happy so this wouldn't happen. In all actuality if she would have asked for the moon he would have figured out a way to get it for her that's just how far he was in love with her. He didn't want to see her cry or be unhappy. But there was one thing that was plaguing deeply on his mind and that was her words she had told him that day at the inn. She said she wanted more and as he thought more about it he came to the same conclusion after last night. He also wanted more and that only meant one thing and he also wanted their child to be born respectfully which meant its parents had to be married. He had been thinking about this the whole time he and Allen were in India. Deeply rooted in his culture he knew this was the right thing to do. It was not right to get a woman pregnant and not marry her but that wasn't his only reason the other reason was he truly deeply loved her from the moment he first saw her. He thought if they got married the Black Order would have to accept it and she could go back with him.

Kanda was standing waiting for Alana to come out to take her on her shopping trip and his eyes glanced over to Allen. Allen and Chevi were in a conversation about what they were going to do today he slightly sighed as he cleared his throat "You two are coming with us" He said in a stern voice as both of them sharply turned their heads to stare at him. Upon what he thought was going to be a protest Kanda walked slowly over to them and stood in front of them looking a little like he was having trouble finding the words to say what he had to say. Allen staring at him realized he wanted to say something so he asked "Kanda what is it?" Kanda slightly bit his lower lip then blurted out "I need two witnesses" Allen and Chevi looked to each other then back to him Allen said sarcastically "Why are you going to kill someone?" Kanda's eye's narrowed as his brows came close together "NO if I did that I wouldn't want witness's moyashi." Then shaking his head he gave them a death glare "I just need you to come with us" he said very sternly this time to the point both of them weren't going to refuse "A-Alright" Allen said in a shaky voice not wanting to piss the now aggravated samurai off anymore.

As Alana exited the bathroom Kanda turned to her "Are you ready?" she just smiled at him with a smile that made his heart skip a beat as she ran over and grabbed the upper part of his arm interlocking hers with it "Yes" she said excitedly to be getting out of this boring prison like Order. It had been almost a month since she had even seen the outside of the Order due to her worrying about Kanda and Allen being missing. No one had actually knew why they hadn't contacted anyone or what they were doing. It hadn't really came up in the conversation and Kanda hadn't called Komui yet. He had informed the leader of the Asian branch that he would do that today. But his first priority was to take care of his onna, she was the only thing that mattered to him right now.

Walking into the town Alana had to keep her steps up with Kanda. His long legs made his lengthy stride hard to keep up with sometimes especially when he was focused on one thing and that was to get to town do what he had to, get clothes and get back. He didn't think much about anything else except what he had to do at a particular moment and as she looked up at his face while they were walking the sheer stern glance on it like he was on a mission for something made her chuckle some. She would have to teach him how to relax some. He was always tense and always had a look on his face like he was going to kick the shit out of someone, she thought a smile on his face was more pleasant when he produced one but that was a rarity.

As they reached the edge of town Chevi went to pull Allen in one direction but Kanda stopped her with a narrow eyed glare and she slunk back behind Allen. Allen was wondering why Kanda was being so hell bent on them staying with them till he saw where Kanda was taking them. There was a little church on the edge of town and they were headed in that direction. Alana was scoping out all the stores and she was wondering why they weren't stopping at any, they had just passed a few good ones with some nice clothes as she looked up at Kanda as he stared straight ahead "Kanda where are we going?" He didn't answer as he kept walking straight ahead not saying a word. Allen's eyes widened as he looked ahead to the church _'Is he going to do this now?' _he thought remembering Kanda had made the decision in India that he was going to marry Alana. He had found a ring in India, it wasn't fancy just a small band he picked up at a flea market there but it was a ring. As they got closer to the church Alana stopped Kanda as she pulled on his arm walking back towards the stores "Kanda the stores are this way" but she couldn't budge him as he stopped and stood in one spot. Stopping she turned to face him and the look of determination in his eyes confused her as she stood there wondering what he was doing. That's when he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. Looking into her confused eyes he then searched her face with his which made her a little nervous as she stood there clutched in his arm. He then tilted his head to the side as he slightly grinned "We have something to do first onna." His tone was stern but soft as she stared into his eyes and at that moment she swore they were smiling. This was really starting to freak her out as he then turned taking her hand and almost dragging her to the little church. It was then she realized where they were going "Uhhhh Kanda why are we headed for that church." He looked back over his shoulder and didn't say a word as he kept stalking towards it with her in tow. Her heart began to beat faster and her breathing became erratic as her chest rose and fell from the fear of what was going to happen '_Oh no he wouldn't'_ She thought then her eyes widened '_OR WOULD HE?_' Just then Kanda's foot hit the first step as he pulled her up the steps to the door and opened it. As they walked in he looked around and from out behind a curtain came a priest "Can I help you?" Kanda answered in a stern tone "Hai you can marry us." Alana's mouth hit the ground as did Chevi's and Allen chuckled. Then she pulled on his arm turning him around and asked softly "What are you doing?" He sighed at her then looked back to the priest. God she hated when he didn't answer her. He asked again "Can you marry us?" The priest nodded and Kanda turned to Alana "Do you love me?" He asked sternly in that demanding tone of his. She stood there stunned for a moment as her head swan with thoughts and her answer stuck in her throat until he asked again this time his voice was softer as he took her chin in his hand raising her face to his "Alana do you love me?" It was then she blurted out "YES! But you want to do this right now?" He nodded his head and she was stunned but happy at the same time. The priest cleared his throat as he interrupted their little conversation "You will need to witnesses you know" Kanda looked at Allen and Allen stepped forward holding Chevi's hand "We'll witness it." Alana's head was swimming with so many things she hadn't even realized they were halfway through the ceremony till Kanda took her hand and placed the ring on it. That's when she realized this was real and not a dream as she looked at the simple band on her finger she smiled it was exactly like the man she loved, cold, hard but the perfect fit for her. The priest ended the ceremony with "You can kiss your bride" and as Alana looked up Kanda took her face in his hands and slowly moved it towards his but when he got millimeters from his lips he whispered "You are only my onna now and forever." Then he kissed her gently and passionately as Allen and Chevi looked on smiling.

After he leaned back it was like his mind was on one track again as he said firmly grabbing her hand and pulling her to the door "Now we can buy clothes for you." She shook her head wondering if she'd ever get used to his strange demeanor and way of thinking. But at this point she didn't care she knew the real man inside of him not the one he showed to everyone else.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Yeah that's what I write fluff and smut with the occasional plot twist in it. I'm trying to show the changes Kanda is having to go through and the true love he has for Alana. He really has to search himself to come to the point of being a family man not to mention opening his eyes to see the full picture that is around him in the Order he's neglected to see for so long. But with the help of his friends I think he can pull it off.

Where do we go from here chap.8

Clothes shopping with Kanda was infuriating she thought as they had stopped at many shops and he didn't like the clothes. They finally came to one shop where she got him to go in and as he looked around a scowl crossed his face. She began to look around and found a few things but he wanted to make sure they would last her a while but she seemed to like them. So he asked if there was a place she could try them on and the woman behind the counter pointed them to a place in the corner. It was more like a sheet hanging in the corner but he nodded as she walked behind it. Looking around he made sure it was okay for her to start changing then he sat on a stool next to the hanging sheet. Crossing his legs he waited patiently as she tried the first thing on and when she emerged from the sheet he looked at it and crossed his arms. Then bringing his hand up to his chin he made a strange face and shook his head no. Politely smiling Alana turned and went back in to try on the next thing. It was a short skirt and a tank top but when she came out again he shook his head no quickly and pointed back to the dressing area. He didn't want his onna walking around in something like that he thought she needed to be in something more appropriate for being pregnant. This time she tried on a sundress, walking out she stood there as he examined it with his eyes then lifted his hand and shook it some meaning it was okay. She rolled her eyes and turned to walk back behind the sheet when she spotted some pants on a counter. So walking over she grabbed a pair and grabbing the sheet yanked it to the side and entered with a scowl on her face. As she changed she saw there was a sweater top mixed in with the clothes. So she reached down and picked it up hanging it next to the pants. She snickered as she pulled the lacy garment up her body '_He's going to so freak on this'_ she thought pulling the lingerie up over her shoulders. As she exited the sheet his eyes widened and Allen screamed as Kanda threw his hand over Allen's eye's smacking him off the stool as he landed on the ground "Oi onna are you trying to give the moyashi a heart attack." He asked sternly slightly scowling at her for walking out like that then he shook his head most definitely no. She sighed out loud turning herself and clinching her fists as she walked back behind the sheet "I'm. Going. To. Kill. Him." She said softly as she reached for the pants and the sweater. After getting them on her she pulled the sheet back and he slightly grinned and nodded yes. He liked them because they covered her whole body up and she knew that's why he liked them.

He looked at her as he stood then said "Make sure to get two other pair in bigger sizes" Giving him a puzzling and feeling he was trying to make a point she rolled her eyes "And why is that?" reaching down he grabbed Allen by the front of the shirt and picked him up because Allen was still lying on the floor with his stomach growling "You're pregnant and you'll be growing bigger in the stomach I want to make sure you have things to wear." She thought that was a reasonable answer as she smiled at him "Sure thing" she said turning as he yelled slightly louder "Get the dress too it looked good." She turned smiling at him as she picked up a few bigger pair of pants and a few more sweaters but different colors. Picking all the clothes up they went to pay for them and after paying began to walk out. Kanda stopped as he looked at everyone "I forgot something I'll be right back" he said turning around and entering the store again as Allen complained how hungry he was. It was a few moments later when he came out again and he was carrying a small bag "What's that?" she asked as he grinned like she had never seen him grin before at her but he didn't answer he just started walking. Allen looked up at Kanda "F-Foooood?" he said in a straining voice as Kanda sighed at him "Hai moyashi" Allen just smiled as they were off to find Allen some food before he drove Kanda up the wall with his growling stomach.

While Allen was ordering just about everything on the menu Kanda decided he better call Komui and tell him he and Allen were fine. He had also informed Komui that Alana would be accompanying him back to their branch. Komui questioned it but Kanda told him this was something he had to explain in person. Komui told him he was just glad they were okay and that he would inform everyone else of the good news.

Later that afternoon back at the Asian branch while they were sitting in Bak's office he happened to ask Kanda and Allen what had went on and why they were missing. Allen looked to Kanda and Kanda nodded an okay for him to tell. Allen leaned forward and stared at Bak as he softly asked "Have you ever wanted to help someone with something they were going through but didn't know how to handle it?" Bak just stared at Allen then he noticed Kanda's eyes wander to the floor as he was intrigued now by the question "Yes Allen I felt that way about you when you came here to recover." Allen smiled slightly as he sat back on the couch next to Kanda "Well you see Kanda was going through some major stuff and I tried to help him through it. But that included keeping him away from people and letting him go completely ballistic on the akuma." Bak gave Allen a confused look as Allen tried to explain again "Kanda had a problem letting his emotions out so we secluded ourselves form everyone and he more or less single handedly exterminated about ever akuma around India. But during that time I had to get him talking so every day I would make him tell me what he was feeling and how he was feeling." Allen turned to Kanda and smiled slightly "He didn't know what I was doing a first and he bitched the whole time but after about a month of me asking every day he started to open up to me and started communicating better." Kanda rolled his eyes then looked at Bak "The moyashi helped me realize that I could relay my inner feelings without having to be so cold to people and he helped me to bring people closer to me. I never liked people getting close to me because I never wanted friends but I see now that I have had friends all along." Allen smiled hugely at that and Bak still confused on the whole situation just shrugged "So your telling me you cut off all contact with the Order and everyone to help Kanda with communication skills Allen?" Allen nodded and Bak stared blankly at them as Kanda just turned his head "Che" He didn't expect anyone to understand what Allen had done for him, Hell he didn't even know how to explain it himself but all he knew is by Allen doing what he did he was now able to talk to Alana about himself and the way he felt. As they left Bak's office Allen smiled up at Kanda "I don't think he understood what we told him." Kanda nodded a stern nod and sighed "Hai Moyashi I don't expect anyone to understand your actions or intentions." Than he stopped and turned to Allen and slightly grinned "But thank you. You helped me be able to open up to her and I'm in your debt moyashi." Allen helped Kanda because he wanted to and not to mention he wanted things to work out between him and Alana. But he just smiled hugely at Kanda and nonchalantly shrugged "It was nothing. Now let's get back to the girls I'm sure their wondering where we ran off to." Nothing else needed to be said between them they both knew the struggles that Kanda had overcome and Allen was just happy to see his friend in better spirits. Kanda grinned at Allen as they started walking "Oi what's with you and the baka girl?" Allen turned and his eyes narrowed and Kanda could tell he was upset he'd called her that when Allen's face turned red and he yelled "SHE'S NOT STUPID BAKANDA!" Kanda just chuckled as he brought his hand to his face and grasped the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger, closing his eyes, then shaking his head at Allen's outburst over what he said "Moyashi you have it bad." Allen got a confused look "Got what?" removing his hand Kanda stopped him from walking and turned him towards him "You helped me now let me help you. Even if you can't see it your actions tell me you like this girl a lot." Allen thought for a moment them looked up at Kanda "I-I do Kanda" Kanda inhaled deeply "Hai moyashi I thought so." He then turned and started walking again with Allen following him as Kanda continued to talk "Don't be stupid like I was. You have to let her know how you feel then." Allen stared at Kanda's back for a moment then looked to the ground as he walked. Kanda was right he would have to tell Chevi how he felt about her no matter if Lavi liked it or not. But how was he going to handle his friend when he found out Allen liked his sister. Would they get into a fight or would Lavi accept the fact Allen liked her. Glancing back over his shoulder Kanda saw Allen in heavy thought and he knew he was thinking about what Lavi was going to do. But he also knew if Lavi started something with Allen he would have to step in and clear things up for the baka usagi. He wasn't going to let Allen make the same mistakes he did and he wasn't going to stand by and let Lavi ruin it for him either. He was hoping Lavi would be happy that it was Allen that she liked and not some off the wall crazy guy. Not that he didn't think Allen was crazy after all the times he stood up to him. But he hoped Lavi would see it as knowing Allen wouldn't try to take advantage of her and he would treat her right. But if not, Kanda shrugged and thought _'I'll just beat the crap out of him and make him see it the way I do.'_ He then stopped and waited for Allen to catch up to him as they both walked to where they had left the girls.

A few days later they returned to the Black order as Lavi came running to meet then when they entered the door "YU, ALLEN!" he said throwing his arms around both of them. Kanda scowled and Allen laughed some "Glad you're alive. We were worried about you two." As he let them go Kanda scowled at him still "Baka usagi! Don't call me by my first name or I'll slice you up." Lavi smiled because he knew Kanda didn't really mean it. Lavi looked behind them and saw Alana and Chevi "SIS!" he yelled passing by Allen and throwing a death grip hug on her "GLAD YOUR BACK!" Kanda just scowled at the heartfelt reunion "Che" he said turning his head to the side then he looked at Lavi "Oi Lavi is Komui in his office?" Lavi still hanging on his sister smiled "Yes he's been waiting for your return." Kanda took Alana's hand and began to walk to Komui's office. When they entered the first thing Komui noticed was Kanda holding her hand. Thinking that was sort of out of character for Kanda he slightly glared at him some "Ahhh, Kanda I've been waiting for you to return." He stood up and walked over some staring at their hands interlocked with each other's "And what is this?" He nodded towards their hands as Kanda rolled his eyes at his stupidity "Komui, Bak is sending paperwork to transfer Alana back here." Komui confused at the request because she was the one who wanted to be transferred raised a brow at them "And why is this?" Kanda's eyes glanced to her then back to Komui "Because she's my wife!" He stated sternly as Komui dropped his coffee cup and choked for a moment then he caught his breath and wheezed out "Excuse me, I think I heard you wrong I thought you said she was your wife." He began chuckling some as Kanda stared at him seriously then he realized he had heard him right the first time. "AHHHHHH, KANDA WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU TWO DONE!" Kanda just scowled at Komui as he tried to explain the situation. Never in the history of the Black Order have two exorcists been married and now Komui felt like he'd failed to let this happen while in command. Leaning over his desk he began to sulk "OH my god this can't happen!" Kanda kicked him in the ass and sent him flying over his desk as he walked over and glared down at Komui as he snarled "YOUR SPINELESS SOMETIMES KOMUI!" Then he turned and looked at Alana "She's carrying my child" Komui thought he heard that wrong also till it sunk in a few moments later and he stood up "Wait you're saying the child she's carrying is yours?" Kanda bought his hand to his face and rubbed his forehead in annoyance "Wow your perspective Komui." Alana smiled as she walked forward "I'm sorry I didn't tell you when you first asked but I didn't want to get him in trouble. Plus I was pissed at him at the time." Feeling like he was just kicked in the teeth by some freak animal Komui just smiled nervously "Yeeah that's always a reason to hide something from someone." Sweat began to bead up on his forehead as he wondered what the heads were going to do when they found put about this. This wasn't something they were going to take lightly especially since they had broken the rules. Komui still didn't believe this could go on while he was in charge just sighed then stood up straight as he looked at both of them. But he also sensed something was different about Kanda, he seemed more grounded than he did before and…..happy. Komui noticed there was actually a slight smile on his face. Not knowing what to do for now he just grinned "Alright Kanda I'll sign the papers but I can't guarantee the heads are going to like this." Kanda smirked "Well they better get used to it because this is the way it is." He told Komui sternly as he turned and took Alana's hand walking towards the door he said over his shoulder "She is my wife and there's nothing they can do to change that now." As they left Komui had a real bad feeling about this but he would try to keep it hidden as long as he could from the heads because he figured Kanda and Alana were in for some real trouble ahead. Then reaching and opening his desk drawer he grabbed a key and ran after them "KANDA!" He yelled reaching the door as Kanda turned around "Here take this and move into this room!" He threw a key at Kanda and he caught it. Komui felt a little strange throwing the almost twenty year old a key to a room for him and his wife to move into "It's larger and has a bigger bed." Kanda nodded as he turned and they kept walking, Komui turned around and yelled "GET ALLEN IN HERE I NEED TO TALK TO HIM!"

A few moments later Allen entered Komui's office as he was pacing the floor back and forth then he stopped in front of Allen "How could you let something like this happen?" Allen just smirked "Well it was either give him my blessing and witness it or he would have done it without me." Allen could tell Komui was troubled about something "Why what's the big deal?" Komui turned with a dumbfounded look on his face "What's the big deal?" he repeated then put his hand to his chin "Oh let's see Kanda is an experiment from the second exorcist program and now he gotten someone pregnant." Giving Allen a worried look "Don't you think the heads are going to be concerned about this?" Allen hadn't thought about that as he walked further into the room and realized that his friend, wife and unborn child might actually be in some danger here. Allen scratched his head "I really hadn't thought about what the heads would do but if what you say is true now I'm a little worried." Komui shook his head vigorously "Yes this could cause quite an uproar in the Order." Allen sighed because he knew if anything were to happen Kanda would go completely ballistic against the heads and that could get him killed. After the whole ark ordeal Allen hadn't trusted the heads especially since they thought he was a traitor. He knew if Secretary Leverrier found out about it he would most definitely cause problems for Kanda and Alana. Allen smiled trying to calm Komui as they talked more and both agreed after a hour of talking that if it came down to it they would take Kanda's side and do anything to protect him and his family even if it meant they had to leave the Order.

Kanda and Alana had gotten to the room and Kanda made sure she was comfortable and taking a nap before he started for his old room to pack what little stuff he had to move it to the new room. As he walked through the halls his mind was crowded with thoughts of how this was all going to play out. He knew Leverrier wasn't going to pass up an opportunity like this. He had to admit it wasn't every day that an experiment helped create a child and he himself didn't even know if that would play a key part in the child's DNA. He was scared but then again he had a reason to be after the way Leverrier treated Lenalee when the Order was attacked by Lullabell for the ark. He just had to be ready for anything that came at him or his new family. While walking through the halls he happened to glance over and see Lavi and Lenalee in a corridor. He stopped to watch for a moment because their body language told him a different story and he was right. He saw Lenalee raise her hand to caress Lavi's cheek then he leaned in and kissed her. '_Oh my God'_ Kanda thought "_Komui is going to kill him_' then he chuckled visualizing the Komui chasing Lavi around in one of his robotic experiments. Shaking his head he continued to his room and opened the door. It had been a while since he was in this room and everything was the same as it was when he left except a little dustier. Packing his stuff he began to think that maybe it was a good idea they moved to a bigger room. He didn't think they could both fit comfortably in this small bed as he chuckled visualizing Alana's stomach growing over the next few months.

Kanda had picked up his suitcase of stuff and was walking back to the room when he spotted Lavi and Allen. Although Lavi looked pissed as he had his hands around Allen's neck screaming at him. Chevi had ahold of his arm and was yelling at him to let Allen go as Lenalee pleaded with him too. Kanda just sighed as he walked up slowly and dropped his suitcase as Lavi reared his arm back to hit Allen Kanda stepped in front of Allen and caught his fist in his hand "Oi Lavi what's the problem?" Lavi was beyond pissed at this point when he screamed "HE KISSED MY SISTER!" Kanda just threw his fist back at him and smirked "And would Komui know about you and Lenalee?" Lavi and Lenalee's eyes widened as he let go of Allen's shirt and stared at Kanda. Kanda then sighed "Look Lavi would you rather have her with someone else that doesn't treat her right?" Leaning back Lavi's eyes glanced to the floor "I would want her with someone that cared for her more than himself." Allen then sighed "Lavi I do care for her more than myself. These past few days we've spent together made me realize that." Standing there for a moment Lavi still wasn't sure about the whole thing but there was really nothing he could say because he was hiding his relationship with Lenalee. So he sighed and then looked Allen square in the eyes "You better not hurt her Allen." Chevi walked next to Allen and interlocked her arm in his "Don't worry Lavi we've only kissed twice. Allen's a real gentleman around me." Lavi just exhaled and looked at Kanda "Since when do you stick up for the moyashi?" Kanda just smirked some "Since he helped me." Then he gave Lavi one of his death glares "And I'm the only one that calls him moyashi." Lavi's whole body began to shake at the cold black pools staring at him "Y-Your soooo scary at times Y-Yu" Kanda's glare worsened as Lavi threw his arms out in front of him and stuttered "I-I mean K-Kaaanda." Kanda nodded to him then reached down and picked his suitcase up and continued his walk back to the room. As he walked along he began to notice things about the Order he never had _'This place is completely nuts'_ he thought as he remembered back to before they were attacked for the ark.

Reaching for the door he opened it slowly as he peeked in to see Alana still sleeping peacefully. As he walked in he sat the suitcase down and then walked over to the bed and sat easily on the edge. She was on her side with her hands cupped by her face and as he looked down at her he slightly grinned at the beautiful sight before him. His eyes glanced down to her stomach as he lifted his hand and softly put it on it. He closed his eyes and imagined seeing the baby inside her stomach. Feeling his hand she slowly opened her eyes to stare at him and she softly smiled looking up at his face. It was so concentrated but at the same time serene and that was a look she rarely saw. A smile curved the edge of his mouth as he spoke "Onna I know you're staring at me." She just chuckled "How do you do that? I mean do you feel someone's eyes on you?" He opened his eyes and turned to her "That is something that I will have to teach you and the child. But yes it's like I can feel someone's eyes on me. It's like tuning into the space around you and knowing when something isn't right or feeling someone's eyes on you." He amazed her all the time with his abilities and she knew that they went farther then he let on sometimes but she was purely taken with him just the way he was. She reached down and placed her hand over his on her stomach "One day you will teach him how to be just like you." Kanda stared down at her and nodded "How do you know it's a boy?" She just smiled a sly smile "I just know and besides you need a son to follow you around." Kanda leaned down and kissed her lips softly then slightly smiled "I would love a daughter too. But whatever it is I will teach it proudly the ways that I know." He then stood up slowly "Now I must go make sure that Lavi and Allen are getting along. It seems Lavi found out about Allen and Chevi and there was an incident in the hall." She sat up and put her feet on the floor "I would like to come too." He turned back to her knowing after the long ride she needed rest "Please stay in here and rest. I'll bring you some food back shortly and then tomorrow you can go walking around." She was still sort of tired and she was sort of hungry and she definitely knew better then to argue with him right now so she nodded as he bent down and picked her feet up and placed them back on the bed. He sat down again and leaned closer to her face placing his hand slightly on her cheek "Onna we have to be careful right now so that the heads don't find out about the baby this soon." She gave him a confused look "Why Kanda? What will they do?" He placed his hand on her shoulder "You don't worry about that right now." But she could tell that he was worried by the look in his eyes. She had never seen that look before and now that only made her more nervous. Saying that he leaned forward and kissed her forehead then stood up and headed for the door. After a few seconds she was alone with her thoughts and concerns now and she didn't like the way she was feeling about this whole situation.


	9. Chapter 9

Where do we go from here chap.9

Kanda had found himself in the cafeteria waiting for his soba noodles as he looked over the menu with a puzzled look. Chevi entered and saw him standing there looking like he was lost in thought as she walked up to him and stood beside him staring at the same menu he was as she cleared her throat. Kanda's eyes glanced sideways to look at her the he asked questionable "What do pregnant women usually eat?" Chevi chuckled some as she looked over the menu "Well Alana usually likes fried rice. Although lately she's been getting a side of chicken with that for protein for the baby." Kanda's hand went to his chin "Ah yes she has to produce much protein for the baby." This was all so new to him, he had never had to think about feeding someone else to make sure they got what they needed, well with the exception of Allen when they were in India. So he ordered fried rice with a side of chicken then some egg rolls thinking she could eat on those. He then asked for a huge glass of milk and then Chevi reminded him he needed something sweet so he asked for a slice of the best cake they had. As he stood there waiting for the order Chevi looked at the perplexed look on his face and she sighed at him "Kanda you're so tense all the time. You need to chill out some. You're doing the best you can for this being the first pregnancy you've ever had to go through." He turned to Chevi "Hai but I don't want to do anything wrong. I want her to feel safe and I want her stress free" His eyes glanced to the floor "Is that too much to ask? But I fear something is coming and I fear I'm going to have to do something that will change our future as exorcists forever." The food was placed in front of him and he picked it up and turned and walked away before she could ask him what he meant.

Kanda's words had haunted Chevi all day as she walked to Lavi's room and knocked on the door. She needed to talk to him and the rest of Kanda's friends so she asked if he and Lenalee could meet her at Allen's room. She knew if anyone knew what was going on it would be Allen. So Lavi went and got Lenalee and they all went to Allen's room and knocked on the door. When he opened it he was surprised to see them but then Chevi looked at him "Allen I know you know something we don't about Kanda. Is something going to happen?" Allen lowered his eyes then looked back up poking his head out his door to check the hall and when he saw it was clear he stepped aside and waved them in. As they got inside he walked past them and stopped at the window as he began to speak "Komui thinks the heads are going to try something with Kanda's child." Lavi's eyes widened and he got defensive "T-They can't!" He then thought to himself as he got a frightened look "Yu will go ballistic." Allen turned and faced them "Yeah that's sort of what we're afraid of." Chevi walked up to Allen and took his hand "You've known about this since we got back haven't you?" Allen slightly smiled "Yes but Komui wanted me to keep it to myself. He didn't want Kanda to get wind of it." Chevi shook her head in disbelief but then she looked at Allen "It's too late Kanda already knows something isn't right." Allen's shocked face turned to her "What? How do you know that?" Chevi told them what Kanda had told her in the cafeteria and they all exhaled deeply as they tried to figure out some way to help if something happened. Lenalee looked around at all of them "Well I don't know about you guys but I'm not going to sit by and let Leverrier do the things to Kanda's child that they did to me." Lavi just smiled at her and took her hand "Lenalee's right. It's just an innocent baby." Allen looked up with a concerned look in his eyes "That's really not my concern right now." They all gasped at him then he explained "I didn't mean it that way but my concern is what will happen when Kanda completely freaks out and goes on a rampage." Then it sank into all of their heads that this would be the Order's way of dealing with Kanda justifiably. Lavi took a deep breath and he knew he wasn't going to let that happen even if he did have to go against bookman's orders of staying out of the Order's business. They all began to worry about what would happen to Kanda when Chevi jumped in "Wait it's not only Kanda we have to worry about there's also Alana. Her innocence is strong as well and if it came to protecting her child and husband there would be no stopping her. Her innocence hasn't fully matured yet but this is a fight that could send it over the edge." Allen shook his head in agreement as he thought back to the many fight's that all their innocence picked to grow stronger and Chevi was right this could push Alana's innocence to the maximum.

Kanda entered the room holding the food and Alana sat up "Yay I'm starved." She said happily as he walked over and sat the tray on the nightstand. "Chevi told me what to get you. I hope you like it." He said as he sat down on the bed placing his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward. She reached over and grabbed the chicken then the rice and pouring the chicken in the rice bowl, picking up the fork she stirred it all together as he turned his head to look at her. She started eating and Kanda swore if there had been a fire she would have out ate it. But he chuckled anyway "Hungry I see" she nodded due to her mouth being too full to answer. Seeing her eat was an experience for him as he reached over and grabbed his soba noodles and chopsticks "I think I'll join you" then he peeled the top off the noodles and began to stir them around. She watched as he picked some up and ate then and she wondered how he could eat with two little sticks like that. As they sat there eating she thought about what he said earlier and after she swallowed she decided to ask him about it "Kanda what did you mean earlier about the heads of the order and the baby?" He inhaled and put his chopsticks into the container then turned his head slightly "I really would rather you not worry about it. If anything happens I want you to take the baby and leave. I'll handle it." He said sternly but then he looked to the floor "But if something should happen before the baby gets here I will handle it and you get the hell out of here." She couldn't believe what he had just said. Did he honestly think she would leave him behind "Kanda I can't leave you, I would never lea-"He then raised his voice some as he cut her off "ONNA!" He said sternly and he watched her eyes widen at his tone "Please do what I ask" he then said softly and she figured he knew what was best but she would have a problem getting away if she was that pregnant she thought but she would figure out a way if that's what he wanted. He then turned to her and with a pleading look in his eyes "There is a little town outside of Montpellier called Sete. The old woman that runs the Sapphire inn is a friend of my master Tiedoll's. Promise me if anything happens and you have to leave you will go there. Tell her who you are, and you're my wife, she will help you." He turned and looked away from her for a moment "I will follow soon after." She knew when he turned away that if anything happened and she had to leave he wasn't planning on following because he would fight to the death to protect her. Reaching her hand out and placing it on his shoulder "Kanda?" he then turned and gave her a not so reassuring look and followed it with a somewhat grin. But his eyes told another story and she knew he was a bad liar so she just dropped it for now as they finished their meal and settled into this new but unstable and frightening life style.

A few days later Komui called Kanda and Allen into his office he had a mission to send them on. As they walked in Komui slightly smiled at Kanda "Kanda how is your lovely wife today?" He asked as Kanda frowned at him wanting to know why he was asking. Kanda had become very suspicious of anyone asking about Alana besides his group of friends. He stared at Komui for a moment then answered sternly "She is fine." Komui was actually asking because he was generally concerned about the whole situation plus he started thinking last night what it would be like to have a child running around the Order and it seemed exciting to him. Everyone in the Order would love to see Kanda's child and have it grow up there but in the back of his mind he still feared the worst but he was trying to put that aside, all he knew is while Kanda was gone he and the other scientists would watch over Alana and make sure she was safe. Everyone had agreed on that when they had a meeting yesterday. But Kanda still didn't trust very many people and he had put Lavi in charge of watching out for her when he left on this mission. Alana only had six months left and he wasn't going to have her being questioned about how she was feeling? Did anything seem abnormal? He just wanted this to go as smooth as possible.

So after they left on their mission it was a few days later when Komui got a call from Leverrier and he informed Komui he was sending Howard Link back to observe Allen again. Hearing this only made Komui a little nervous and pissed that they still didn't trust Allen and he wondered when Link had even left due to the fact he was supposed to always be with Allen. He informed Leverrier that Allen was on a mission with Kanda. Komui questioned Link being at the heads office "Wait Link went on the mission with Kanda and Allen. How did he end up in your office if he's not supposed to leave Allen alone?" There was a pause on the other end of the phone then Leverrier cleared his throat not answering Komui as he just skipped over it "Yu Kanda, Ahhh yeeees we also want to see how he is doing after he returned from where ever Allen sent him with the ark last year. We know he was with Alma and we know he is no more. But there are rumors around that now say he has a wife and she's pregnant." Komui froze for a moment and didn't know what to say and Leverrier took that as an answer and he smiled deviously to himself "That is what I thought." He said sternly and putting one hand under his chin and just grinned "This child could be the startup of the fourth exorcist program you know." Komui cringed as he heard that and just sighed "Yes…..Sir" _'AHHHH, LINK HAD TO GO BLAB!' _he yelled in his head and with that being said Leverrier hung the phone up as Komui turned and yelled "SOMEBODY GET LAVI IN HERE FOR ME NOOOOOOW!" he knew something was going to have to be done before Howard got back and if it meant moving Alana somewhere safe he would put his position on the line to do it.

Lavi walked into Komui's office as he watched him pace the floor "We have to get Alana out of here before that big mouthed Link gets back here with Allen" Lavi didn't know what Komui was talking about so he just replied "Aaaaand why is that?" Komui started screaming "BECAUSE THAT TATTLE TAIL WENT AND TOLD THE HEADS ABOUT HER AND THAT SHE'S PREGNANT!" he stopped for a moment placing his hand on his chin he began to think out loud "Why? Why would he go just to inform them of this? And why would he defy his orders and leave Allen alone?" He started pacing back and forth and flailing his arms "Well this is big news and it would most definitely be something Leverrier would want to know about." Lavi just stood there trying to get Komui's attention "Chief!" Then he tried again as Komui kept pacing talking out loud "Uhhhh Chief" The finally on Komui's last pass by him "CHIEF!" Komui's head snapped up surprised to see Lavi standing there "What are you doing? I told you to get Alana out of here" Lavi rolled his eyes "You didn't tell me where to take her."

"Ahhh yes your right" He smiled reaching for a pen he wrote down a city and place and handed it to the red haired exorcist as Lavi looked at the paper and raised his head "Are you sure Yu's not going to get pissed about this? I really don't want to piss him off. He gets this really scary death glare." Komui just wiped the hair from his face some "I'll handle Kanda when he returns you, Chevi and Lenalee just get Alana to that safe place." Lavi turned and shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly "Okay you handle the psychopath samurai." Knowing full well Kanda was going to lose it on Komui he just thought _'I would love to be a fly on the wall for that' _ as he turned and walked out of the room leaving Komui to figure out a way to confront Link about what he had told the heads. He thought about having the whole science department hold him down while he shot him with a new experiment he was trying. But then he realized when Kanda found out about this he probably wouldn't even have to break a sweat. '_Yes….Yes'_ he thought grinning from ear to ear '_Kanda will kick the crap out of him'_ he began rubbing his hands together in front of his face like a mad scientist as he laughed deviously out loud.

After Leverrier hung the phone up he rubbed his hands together and smiled creepily as he turned to Howard Link "You have disobeyed orders coming here. But I guess I can forgive you for that but what I can't forgive is you not telling me about this child of Kanda's." Link just inhaled slowly "I didn't think it was relevant at the time. My orders are to watch Allen Walker not any of the other exorcists." Link had a bad feeling about this as Leverrier turned in his chair "This child of his could be a new breed of exorcist if its DNA is complicated by his being of the second exorcist program." Link just sighed "I highly doubt that the child will have any DNA problems due to Kanda actually being a human being." Leverrier turned and quickly snapped at Link "You know nothing of the experiments that were done on him so your opinion is not relevant to me. Your new orders are to watch Allen Walker for any suspicious activity and report to me any change in Kanda's wife's pregnancy." He then narrowed his eyes at Link "Do you understand me!" he said sternly as Link just nodded. As Link walked away from his office to start his journey back to catch up with Kanda and Allen his only thought was of what the heads wanted with a defenseless baby. He knew from the tests that were done on Kanda from going through the files of all the exorcists that Kanda's DNA was human and there was nothing in him that could generate a more powerful exorcist. It was their innocence that made a truly powerful exorcist. His eyes widened then '_Unless they plan on growing the innocence inside the child?'_ He had remembered something being said about that a while ago but they hadn't found the right child to try it on. He also remembered something being said about it maybe killing the child in the process due to the innocence being more powerful than the baby. Link had gotten to know Kanda over the past year and he knew Kanda wasn't the type to sit by and let this happen but then he also knew that ever since Kanda had returned from where Allen sent him and Alma the heads were trying to figure out a way to dispose of him quickly but everything they threw at him he lived through. Link was beginning to think the heads were wrong about everything, Allen being a traitor with the Noah, Kanda needing to be disposed of, and now this with a defenseless baby. His loyalty towards Leverrier was starting to disappear since he had been out on missions with the exorcists and seen firsthand what they dealt with not to mention them helping people. He was beginning to like the missions and the action better than taking orders from a pompous ass who thought he could rule everyone's life. Link had seen firsthand Allen's true intentions at being an exorcist and he didn't think Allen was a threat at all, the kid had too much heart. Although he thought Kanda could use his heart more, he had seen these two in action together and he knew they would be a force to be reckoned with if they joined forces. Believing that if Allen thought Kanda was in trouble he knew Allen would side with Kanda and the Order would have an unwinnable fight on their hands. Not to mention Lavi and the other exorcists that would come to Kanda's aid. Link was now rethinking his position in this plan and he wasn't liking the position he was in. Now his thoughts were plagued by the question of _'What side will I take if this goes down the way I think it will?' _he just sighed to himself as he walked down the hall to catch the transportation to take him back to meet up with Allen and Kanda.


	10. Chapter 10

Where do we go from here chap.10

Two days later Kanda, Allen and Link returned to the Order and upon entering his room Kanda noticed Alana was gone and so were some of her clothes. His first thought was something had happened while he was gone because he knew she wouldn't run away from him again. So he turned and stormed to Komui's office and reached for the door handle flinging it open as Komui jumped out of his chair seeing the death glare in Kanda's eyes "U-U-Uhhhhh Kanda good to see your back." Kanda didn't wait as he stormed over to Komui's desk and kicked him in the face sending him flying into the wall and then sliding down to the floor "WHERE IS MY WIFE!" He demanded as Komui coward on the ground. Picking himself slightly up and adjusting his glasses he turned to face Kanda "Uh…..Well you see-" Just then his door was kicked in by Allen who came stomping in with what looked like horns growing out of his head and Link following closely behind him. Allen tried to speak but more like stuttered his words out "H-H-OW d-dare y-you s-s-send m-my p-pillows A-A-Awaaaaaaaaay" He then screamed as Kanda turned to him noticing Allen huffing his chest up and down "Moyashi do you mind I'm in the middle of something here." Allen turned to Kanda as fire shot from his eyes "My womaaan is missing. How could your problem take priority straight fringe?" Kanda's eyes widened then narrowed as he turned to Komui and scowled. Komui throwing his hands out in front of him for defense from the two now seething exorcists groveled in his defense then pointed to Link "IT'S HIS FAULT!" Both of them snapped their heads to look at Link but he just shrugged as they turned their heads back to Komui and Allen's head began to twitch "H-How can i-it be his fault? WHEN HE WAS WITH US YOU MOROOOON!" Kanda started walking around the desk as Komui straightened up and faced him "He told the heads about Alana being pregnant." Kanda stopped and immediately turned to face Link "YOU DID WHAT?!" He yelled sternly as his eyes narrowed and Link just sighed "I did not. Someone else here told them." He narrowed his eyes at Komui "It seems you have a rat in your nest Komui" Allen still fuming butted in "Where are my pillows AT?" He said crazily as Kanda gave him a puzzling look "Moyashi what the hell are you talking about?" Allen placed his hands in front of his chest like breasts "MY pillows" Then he sulked "Theeeeir goooone." Tears flowed down his face as Kanda turned his head "Che" Then he looked back to Allen "You've been using her breasts as pillows?" Allen just sniffed "Uh yeah I accidently fell asleep on them one night and had the best night's sleep ever so Chevi now lets me fall asleep that way." He then turned to Komui with a death glare "How the hell am I supposed to sleep NOOOOW!?" He said through gritted teeth as Kanda just put his hand over Allen's mouth and shook his head "Poor moyashi." Allen sank to the ground and wrapped his arms around Kanda's leg and began rubbing his face on it "They were sooo soft and cushiony." Komui jumped out from behind his desk wearing a bra "I SHALL BE YOUR PILLOWS TONIGHT ALLEN!" Allen looked up horrified as he clinched Kanda's leg tighter "Ahhhhh NO! I would rather sleep with Kanda." He said as Kanda's head fell forward and he began to get very annoyed by the whole situation "MOYASHIIII! Let…go….of…my…leg." He then glared at Komui "Where…..the…..hell….is…my….wife?" Komui stared at Link for a moment "Wait if you didn't tell Leverrier about her being pregnant. Why were you at his office last week?" Allen then let go of Kanda's leg and stood up turning to Link as Link stared at him "Yeah Link you did leave us for a few days and I didn't understand why at the time." Link turned his head "I went to talk to them about you being a traitor." He then turned his head back to face Allen "I really don't think you are a traitor Allen." Then he looked at Kanda "They already knew about your wife and her pregnancy when I got there." Turning to stare at Komui he frowned "That means someone here told them." Komui straightened up his back and put his hand to his chin "We have gotten some new people since we've moved here. I really haven't had time to check them all out yet though." Kanda just sighed "Tell me where she is Komui." Komui nodded as he took a pen and wrote down an address and city "I had Lavi, Chevi and Lenalee accompany her here. She didn't want to go a first till they explained what happened to her. She actually wanted to wait for you Kanda." Kanda exhaled as he took the paper realizing that Komui had put his position on the line he then nodded "Thank you. I'm sorry this is causing so many problems. But understand I will not let anything happen to her or my child. That child is the only thing that proves I do exist and I wasn't just created by the Order." Placing his hand on Kanda's shoulder Komui felt a tear roll down his cheek till Kanda knocked his hand off and glared at him "Don't ever think you have to do something like that for me and get these new people checked out." It was more like a warning that he didn't want Komui to get in trouble as Komui nodded to him. He then turned and walked out of Komui's office with Allen running after him waving his arm in the air "I'm GOING TOO KANDA!" Kanda stopped and turned quickly as Allen ran into his chest "Moyashi you stay here no sense in both of us getting into trouble." Link then walked up and sighed "I'm afraid it's too late for that so it would be better if we all went." Kanda looked at Allen who had a stupid wide grin across his face and he exhaled deeply as he turned his head "Fine!"

Lavi was bored out of his mind at the place they were staying and while Alana was taking a nap and Chevi was off shopping he got an idea. Walking over to Lenalee he smiled at her "Wanna make out." Lenalee just giggled as they began their make out session. They were really getting into it when the door burst open and Lavi's eyes widened at the now scowling samurai glaring at him. Then his eyes went to Lavi's hands on Lenalee's waist, looking down he flinched and pulled them off her waist "Uhhhh Kanda so nice to see you." Kanda just walked up to him and stuck his face in his "Nice way to be watching my wife baka usagi. You're were so busy I could have been anyone." Lavi shrank down about three inches "Well geez Kanda it's boring here." Kanda pushed past him "Where's my onna?" he asked sternly as Lavi smiled and pointed to the room "She's napping." Just then Allen came in eyes searching the room frantically "Has anyone seen my pillows?" Lavi gave him a confused look "Your what?" Just as Chevi walked in the door and Allen threw himself against her chest "MY PILLOOOOWS!" a scowl crossed Lavi's face as he lunged at Allen "WHY YOU!" Kanda caught him in midair and threw him to the ground "Shut the hell up before you wake up Alana" He glared at both of them "If you want to fight take it outside." Lavi looked up at Allen rubbing his face on Chevi's chest looking content and then to Kanda's scowl as he moved his eyes to Lenalee then back to Lavi as if to say _'You have no room to talk'_ Lavi dropped his head forward then reached up and scratched it laughing slightly as his words shook coming out of his mouth "N-No that's a-alright." Kanda turned his head "Che" he was annoyed at the sheer stupidity of the whole situation. As he turned and walked to the bedroom he slowly opened the door to find his wife sleeping peacefully through the whole barrage of noise and he slightly grinned '_She could sleep through an explosion if_ _she was tired enough_' He thought as he slowly walked in and took his cloak off. Turning to face the bed he slightly smiled walking over to it and sitting on the edge. She had her back to him as he reached his arm over her and placed his hand on her stomach "Don't worry little one everything will be fine." He said talking out loud to the baby as she rolled over on to her back and continued sleeping he placed his head on her stomach then whispered to it "Aishiteru" which meant '_I love you'_ he then lifted his head hearing the commotion in the other room and walked out the door flinging it open then closing it softly and turned to see Lavi and Allen face to face arguing. He was fed up with Lavi's protectiveness for his sister as he stormed over and grabbed Lavi by the front of his shirt "Aho kuso yarou baka usagi" Lavi and Allen's eyes widened because they knew when Kanda started talking in Japanese he was beyond pissed. Kanda pulled Lavi outside and sat him on the bench in the yard as Lavi looked up at him "Why did you call me the stupid shithead retarded rabbit?" Kanda glared at him "Oi Lavi you have to get over this protectiveness you have for the baka girl." Then his face softened as he saw the fierceness in Lavi's eyes "I know she's your sister but you have your own problems to worry about when Komui finds out about you and Lenalee. Don't you think you should give Allen a break if you want Komui to give you one?" Lavi sat there pouting for a moment then looked at Kanda "I never thought about it that way before." Fidgeting with his hands for a moment he then slightly smiled "I guess I owe Allen and apology." Kanda then walked up to him and exhaled deeply as he spoke the sheer truth to Lavi "Your sister will never find someone to treat her better than Allen. I know this is hard for you to believe but he really truly and deeply cares for her and he would never hurt her." Lavi cocked his head to the side "Yu when did you get so perceptive about these things?" Kanda just grunted "Oi" Then he turned to walk back in the house but stopped and over his shoulder "There is a lot more to learn about loving someone Lavi but I guess I'm just more of an outside person who sees what's going on. There are times when I make my share of mistakes but I believe that we all deserve some happiness." Lavi nodded his head then scrunched his face up "Yu do you think when it's time to tell Komui about Lenalee and me you can help with that?" Kanda shook his head as he started walking again as he mumbled "Kuuuuso" in a whisper to himself.

Alana woke up a few hours later and she sat up on the bed rubbing her eyes. That was when she noticed the cloak on the chair and she slightly smiled as she put her feet on the floor and almost ran to the door opening it quickly. Exiting the room she saw Allen and Chevi sitting on the couch talking softly to each other as Chevi looked up to see her face eyes searching the room "He's outside Alana" She said happily as Alana started walking to the door. She walked out of the house and looked around the yard but didn't see him then she heard a "HEY!" looking up she saw Lavi and Lenalee on the top of a hill as Lavi pointed to the east "YU WENT THAT WAY!" She nodded and started to walk down a small path that led into the trees. Walking for a few moments she then saw him in a clearing sitting with his legs crossed in front of him and his back straight as a board. She could tell he was meditating as she walked closer trying to be quiet not to disturb him. One of his eyes slowly opened as she got closer and he smirked "Onna your footsteps are heavy. We shall have to work on your sneaking up on people." She just smiled sarcastically "Ha..ha I wasn't trying to sneak up on you." She said walking over to him as she looked around at the beauty of the forest "What are you doing out here?" Her sighed and shook his head "The moyashi and baka usagi are driving me crazy. I just needed time to clear my head." She sat down next to him "Can you teach me how to meditate?" He smiled softly as he showed her how to place her legs and where to put her arms then he sat back "Now just relax and let your mind go." She sat there a moment and closed her eyes as he spoke to her "Listen to everything around you and try to picture it in your mind like you're looking at it with your eyes open." She started to hear birds chirping and tried to picture them in a tree feeding their young. She then heard hoof prints which she could only imagine was a deer running through the forest. She felt the cool breeze blowing across her face and then she opened her eyes and looked to the left of her to see him with his eyes closed sitting like a statue and she smiled at the blank look on his face. Just then a smile curved the edge of his mouth "Onna you must concentrate on what's around you not me." She then straightened her legs out and leaned back on her hands "I see what you mean about becoming one with the space around you. I could actually see everything I heard in my mind." Turning his head and looking at her he straightened his legs out also and laid back on the ground "The space around you holds what you see with your eyes but it also holds hidden things you cannot see." She thought for a moment and realized he was right if you couldn't imagine the hidden then you'd never know if there was danger around you. Closing her eyes again she listened more intense this time and that's when she heard the growl of a jaguar but as she opened her eyes he was already on his feet with Mugen unsheathed and standing between her and the jaguar. His eyes narrowed and his gritted teeth were showing as he stood completely still and she looked on. The jaguar looked at Kanda and growled she didn't know but maybe it was his stance or maybe that he was showing no fear but the jaguar just backed up and slowly walked off as Kanda took in a deep breath and turned to her. She just stared at him in amazement she had to say her husband was full of surprises as he sheathed Mugen and held his hand out to help her up "That's enough meditating for today" He said sternly as she reached her hand up and put it in his and he helped her up. Walking back to the little house she thought it was a beautiful place and it was very peaceful here. Kanda noticed the look on her face, it was serene and he reached over and took her hand "One day onna I promise you we will have a place as peaceful as this." She just turned to him and smiled slightly "We are exorcists Kanda, we have a job to do. Do you honestly think that we could live some place this peaceful?" He sighed realizing she was right but he knew he would still try to give her a peaceful life.

Later that evening Kanda was standing on the porch when Link came out and stood next to him. Turning his head he noticed the look of thought on Kanda's face as he asked "You seem in heavy thought Kanda?" Kanda turned to Link and hesitated answering him but then he did anyway "Hai I am. For a while I have always wondered if the experiments they did on me had screwed me up. I never thought I could ever father a child." Link exhaled as he looked out to the forest "I have read every file there is on you from back then Kanda and there is no reason why you can't have a normal life. You are actually human after all. The body they gave you has normal human male functions. You think of yourself as an experiment, an artificial body when in actuality that is correct but the body is human it's just artificial to you because it's not yours." He then turned to Kanda and chuckled "The brain may be someone else's but the body is **truly** yours, grown as a human male body." He then grinned "Don't try to understand it but also don't think of yourself as just something the Order made. You are as human as they come Kanda and I have seen the proof in your blood work and tests of your DNA. But there is a slight chance that something of you can be passed on to your child" Kanda felt a little better after talking to Link as he stared off into the forest Allen came out stretching his arms over his head "Are we leaving tomorrow Kanda?" He asked yawning slightly as Kanda nodded "Hai moyashi we will stay tonight and head back tomorrow. I'm sure Komui is wetting his pants over waiting on us plus he's probably driven everyone crazy worrying about Lenalee."

Link then turned to Kanda "Have you told her everything about you?" Kanda nodded "Hai except the accelerated healing part. I haven't exactly gotten hurt that bad yet or had to use my life force up again." Allen just sighed remembering that day in the ark when he brought his friends back from what he thought was death, well in a way it was. He then slightly smiled at Kanda "You should tell her before something happens and she thinks you're dead and goes completely ballistic." Just then Alana walked out and overheard the last of the conversation "Hey what are you guys talking about?" Allen looked at Kanda and raised a brow as if saying _'Good a time as any'_ Kanda smiled slightly and took her hand as he looked in her eyes "Onna there is one last thing I must tell you about myself" She was frightened for a moment because of the way he said it as she stared at him "Okay Kanda what is it?" Kanda took a breath and exhaled heavily as he stared at her for a moment and slightly grinned "I-I heal very rapidly when I am seriously injured and my body does regenerate lost limbs." Standing there things swirled through her mind as she stared blankly at him and Allen smiled a cheesy smile "See you can't actually kill Kanda." He shrugged and put his hand to his chin "Unless you decapitate him or something." Link saw Alana's face and placed his hand on Allen's shoulder and bent down to his ear "Maybe we should leave them alone to talk about this?" Allen's eyes shot up to Link and he realized this was a lot for her to take in "Sure….Yeah." Link and Allen both walked off as they left Alana and Kanda standing there, she in her thoughts and him waiting for her to say something. She finally looked up at him "That's why you told me to leave if anything happened and you would take care of it isn't it? Because you can't die that easily." He looked at her softly "Hai onna" Thinking more about the baby her head shot up to his face as she stared into it "Kanda what about the baby is it going to have this accelerated healing of yours?" Kanda's eyes went to the ground as he sighed "I have no idea but Link thinks there is a possibility that I could pass something to the baby." Alana just stood there thinking for a moment but then she looked into his eyes "I don't care about that right now. If it happens we'll deal with it when the time comes. I know who you are inside Kanda and I know you will teach this child to use anything it inherits from you with good judgment." Kanda slightly smiled at her, he couldn't believe how lucky he was to find someone like her to accept him for who and what he was but staring at her she had the most confidence in him, more than he had in himself. So taking her hand he raised it to his lips and kissed it softly "I promise I will teach this child to use what it inherits from me with caution Onna. You have my word on that." She knew that her husband had a powerful innocence but she had never dreamed he could regenerate lost limbs and heal himself from traumatic injuries. So as she moved closer to him and laid her head on his chest as he engulfed her in his arms she knew now why the heads of the Order would want this child and she now knew that she might die defending this child from them. Kanda could survive but she on the other hand was only just a human and if she was seriously injured she might die, her thoughts were swimming with the possibility that Kanda might be raising this child alone if they had to fight the Order. But she sat that aside for a moment just enjoying their time together on the porch.


	11. Chapter 11

Where do we go from here chap.11

(Four months later)

Kanda had come back from a mission seriously injured and Alana got to see his healing power first hand. As he lay there at what she thought was near death she watched as by the second day he was completely recovered. He opened his eyes and upon seeing her he slightly smiled as she stared dumbfounded at him. Then Komui came in "Well Kanda we can remove the bandages and you should be good to go. But watch out next time on using your life force so much it can't be wasted on frivolous things." Komui began taking the bandages off but Kanda slapped his hand "Oi I can do it myself" He said sternly as he lifted his hand and started unwrapping them. Alana watched as he unwrapped them and her eyes widened at where the huge life threatening gash used to be that was now completely healed. "I-I can't believe this it's like you were never injured." Kanda looked over to her and slightly frowned "Does it scare you onna?" She thought for a moment yes it scared her but then she figured this was just part of him and she would have to get used to it "Some….It frightens me some Kanda that you can be so near death and two days later be completely healed." Taking a deep breath she exhaled heavily "But that is just part of you and I love you just the way you are." He grinned slightly "Hai onna it is frightening I know and I'm sorry." She got up as quickly as she could and walked over to him taking his hand and placing it on her very swollen belly at this point "He or she will love you the same as I do Kanda and it won't matter to them as it doesn't to me that you can heal quickly. He or she will love you because you are their father just as I love you because you're my husband and I loved you before that." Just then the baby kicked Kanda's hand hard and he grinned as his eyes glanced up into hers "He or she has a very strong kick." He leaned closer to her stomach and whispered to it "I look forward to teaching you my child all the wonders and defenses you'll need to know in this world." As he finished the baby kicked once more like it knew what he was telling it. Alana was now seven months pregnant and her stomach was huge she didn't think she was going to make it another two months. She already had a hard time doing the normal things like getting her boots on so she had to switch to sandals that just slipped on. She was glad Kanda had made her get clothes that were larger that day they went shopping or she'd have nothing to wear at all except her bathrobe and she knew he would never let her out that way_. 'Only eight more_ _weeks of this'_ she thought as she was getting excited to meet this little person who kept using her bladder for a punching bag every chance it got.

Leverrier had placed a call to Komui telling him he had a special mission for Kanda and only Kanda. Komui got a really bad feeling about this as he listened to Leverrier and when he told him the mission was in North America Komui wondered why he was sending him so far away. Then it hit him that he would probably be gone for three months with traveling and everything. Komui narrowed his eyes and told Leverrier that he would inform Kanda of the mission. As he hung the phone up Leverrier turned to his assistant "This should get him out of the way so we can take the baby when it is born." He then smiled creepily as his assistant nodded. Komui on the other hand called a meeting of the exorcists and explained the situation. Kanda sighed as he snarled "That asshole he is going to try to take my child isn't he?" Kanda began to get more pissed as he paced back and forth "Kuso! He is saitei kuso yarou." Link stepped in front of Kanda "Yes he is the worst stupid shithead but I may have a plan." Kanda eyes narrowed as he stared at Link then he grinned deviously "So what do you have in mind?" Link told everyone to leave except those closest to Kanda. As he explained his plan everyone agreed that it would be the best way to protect Alana and the child. Link turned to Allen "Call Toma in here." Toma was the only finder that Kanda trusted and he had become a good friend over the past year. When Toma came into the room Link sat him down and explained what was going on and the plan they had come up with. Without hesitation Toma agreed to their plan and it was settled then. No one outside the room was to know what they were going to do. If anyone found out it could be really bad for all of them if this wasn't handled the right way.

Later that day people saw Kanda leave on his new mission as everyone got back into their grove of waiting for new missions. Alana busied herself with some sword moves that Kanda had been training her in. It was also good exercise to keep in shape while pregnant although she couldn't do certain moves like she used to due to her swollen belly she could still do the arm movements and meditation. As she practiced she had the strange feeling she was being watch as she looked around but found no one. So shrugging her shoulders she continued with her daily routine. After finishing her meditation workout Alana walked to their room and then got her clothes ready to go shower. She didn't understand why because she couldn't even see her feet anymore and she chuckled at that. _'You are going to be one big boy aren't you?'_ She said rubbing her stomach "You know I haven't even talked to your father about what he wants to name you." She said pushing herself off the bed and standing. Alana then stood up and picked her clothes up and began walking to her door when she opened it Lavi and Lenalee were standing there about to knock and she slightly smiled "Hey what are you two doing here?" Lavi grinned "Just came by to see what you were doing?" Alana held her clothes up "Going to take a well-deserved shower and thinking about baby names" Lavi snickered as he put his hand to his mouth "Well you could always call it V, W, X, Y, or Z" Lenalee smacked his arm "Lavi that's not funny." Alana just snickered than as her face then straightened "You know I was thinking about Ti" Lavi and Leanlee both stared at her for a moment till she laughed "Got ya!" She then exited the room and closed the door behind her as they all began to walk down the hall chatting along the way. Alana turned to Lenalee "Have you seen Chevi around lately I need to talk to her about something?" Lavi just snarled "She's spending a lot of time with Allen lately."

"Well isn't that good for a healthy relationship?" Alana smiled softly at him as he remembered what Kanda had told him "Yeah I guess so. But I miss spending time with Allen too. He was my little buddy now he's my sisters." Alana just chuckled as she stopped at the bathroom door "Have you tried hanging out with them?" Lavi shook his head as Lenalee grabbed his arm "Yeah Lavi let's go find them" He smiled "Yeah maybe we can share a meal together. I haven't watched Allen eat in a while." With that they both turned and started walking away as Alana felt the baby kick and grabbed her stomach "Oh no you don't you're not going to be like that when you come out even though your right it was a silly thing to be jealous over." She then turned and walked into the shower room.

The next two weeks Allen, Lavi, Chevi and Lenalee had been into town on many trips and Alana was starting to feel like she was being left alone. It was a Monday and everyone seemed busier than usual as she walked around the Order and no one seemed to talk to her that much she was feeling down as she walked back to their room when Chevi yelled after her "ALANA YOU HAVE TO COME NOW!" Alana looked at her confused "Where?" Chevi ran up and grabbed her arm and started pulling her down the hall "To the banquet hall. You have to come." Alana tried to keep up with Chevi as she sighed "Alriiight" When they got to the banquet hall everyone yelled "SURPRISE!" as they started throwing steamers and balloons and Alana looked around shocked when her eyes came to rest on the banner that said 'Congratulations on your new BABY' She then smiled widely as Komui walked over "We know you have been feeling a little down lately so Kanda and us got together and planned this before he left." Komui looked to the ground "I'm just sorry he wasn't able to be here." Alana smiled "Its great Komui" She then looked at all of her friends "Thank you guys. You're the best." They all walked over and she hugged every one of them as a small tear rolled down her cheek that she had such great friends and a husband. As she looked around she noticed the group of finders standing against the wall but she didn't see Toma. Searching the room her eyes came to rest on the tall thin finder that had been on so many missions with her husband. Toma was the only finder that Kanda liked they had become good friends after the Order was attacked by the level four akuma. She walked over to him and smiled "Toma it's good to see you here." He just nodded and she wondered why he didn't speak to her that's when he held his hand up to his throat and waved his other hand in the air "Ahhhh you have a sore throat?" He nodded and she smiled slightly "Alright then I just wanted to say hi to you." And saying that she turned and walked back over to Allen and everyone else. They gave her a barrage of presents and the party went on for what seemed like hours. The scientists even indulged in some drink along with everyone else but Alana felt herself getting a little tired so she informed everyone she was going to lay down but they should enjoy the rest of the party. She asked Allen and Lavi if they could collect the rest of the presents and drop them by her room as she grabbed a few and headed for the door. As she got to the doorway Toma walked up to her and waved his hand for her to go first then he followed her to her room. That's where he nodded his goodbye and she smiled at him "Thank you Toma for walking me" He just bowed slightly to her as he turned and walked back down the hallway. She opened the door and entered the room, dropping the presents she was carrying in the chair. Walking over to the bed she sat down and leaned her head back placing her hand on her stomach "Just six weeks left little one then we'll be able to see you." She then laid down on her side and fell asleep. Allen and everyone had brought the rest of the present's to the room and as they opened the door they saw her sleeping so they quickly but quietly put everything in and shut the door softly as they left.

Allen had noticed Toma had been hanging around Alana's door a lot and he had also been watching her like a hawk the way Allen saw it. He wondered if Kanda had asked Toma to keep an eye on her also. He had to admit there were more eyes on her than on the work everyone was doing. It was getting close to her delivery and everyone was on edge about what would happen afterwards. Everywhere Alana went it seemed Toma was two steps behind her but that was okay with Allen because none of them could be with her all the time and it seemed Toma could fill in at those times. Allen began to relax some realizing that someone was always with her every moment.

Two weeks later though the whole Order would get the shock of their life. It was about five in the evening when everyone was sitting in the cafeteria eating an early dinner when John a new finder came in and he was the one that was supposed to be with Kanda on his mission. John face had a look of disbelief as he walked over to the other finders and then everyone heard one of them yell "NO THAT CAN'T BE! HE CAN'T BE DEAD!" Allen stopped eating and almost dropped his fork as he stood and stared at Lavi, Chevi and Lenalee with a confused look on his face. Walking over to the finders table he slightly sighed "John what are you doing here your supposed to be with Kanda." John looked up with a saddened look as his eyes lowered to the ground "K-Kanda was killed yesterday. He was shot in the head." Allen heart began to beat faster as he grabbed John by the front of his jacket "No! Tell me you're wrong!" John just lowered his eyes again and softly replied "I wish I could but I brought him back with me and he is dead." Allen's hand slowly slipped from the grasp it had on John's jacket as he turned to face his friends sitting at the next table that now overheard the news and were all in shock. Shaking his head Allen's first thought was Alana as he turned and ran out of the cafeteria with everyone following him. Tears were flowing from his eyes as he stopped outside her door and took a deep breath and reached up wiping the tears away he knocked on it.

She opened the door with tear filled eyes and Allen looked past her and saw Komui standing there and his eyes widened "NO!...NO! It's not true!" Looking at Alana his eyes dropped "No it can't be" Everyone lowered their heads as they couldn't believe their friend was actually gone. Alana then turned to say something to Komui but a strange look crossed her face as she looked at the floor "Uhhhhh…My water just broke." Allen ran forward and took hold of her as they all tried to scramble with what to do. Lavi ran to the other side of her and looked at Allen as they both began to support her "We have to take her to the infirmary" Allen shook his head as they started walking her out of the room and down the hall with Komui running behind them screaming his head off "THE BABY'S COMING!" he grabbed people in the hallway and threw them to the side even after Alana had passed them "Get out of the way!" Lenalee grabbed the back of his shirt "Uh…You're behind her." Komui's eyes widened as he then ran in front of Allen, Lavi and Alana screaming "PREGNANT LADY COMING THROUGH!" Alana looked at Allen "Can you just smack the shit out of him now?" Allen grinned "Hopefully he'll calm down soon when we get you to the infirmary." Alana just sighed as Allen and Lavi helped her to the infirmary and Komui knocked everyone out of the way.

Sitting in the infirmary Alana couldn't believe her husband was actually gone. Her heart sank at the thought of having to raise this child alone without it knowing its father. Tears filled her eyes as she thought of what Kanda would have been like as a father she would now have to deal with the loss and birth of her child at the same time. Everyone sat outside the infirmary room and they all had their heads bowed thinking of their lost friend. Lavi turned to Allen with tears in his eyes "I can't believe Yu is actually gone." Allen looked up with hatred in his eyes as he said through gritted teeth "I will make the bastards pay who did this to him." Lenalee snapped her head to the side to look at him "What are you saying Allen?" Chevi rolled her eyes "Oh come on Lenalee! John said Kanda was shot in the head. Do you honestly think after the many fights he's been in that there wasn't someone aiming for his head?" Lenalee thought for a moment then her eyes widened "Oh no your saying the heads killed him." Lavi clinched his fists "Those bastards have been trying to take him out since he got back last year. They couldn't do it in a fair fight so they had someone assassinate him." He turned throwing his fist into the wall "DAMN IIIIT!" Allen stood up and clinched his fist tightly and held it in front of him "Now they'll be coming for the baby and I'll be damned if they're going to get it." Chevi stood and nodded "Yeah your right with Kanda out of the way Alana would have to fight them and after giving birth she'll be too weak."

As Alana sat in the room her contractions were getting more intense as the hours passed by. The nurse came to check on her and said she still had a while to go she had only dilated to five. She sat and thought about how she was going to protect this child on her own after it was born? And what if it had inherited something from Kanda how would she deal with that? She was about to fall apart mentally thinking of everything as she sat there. Then the door opened and Komui came in followed by Toma and she wondered what they were doing there as she sat up some "Toma I wish you would have went with Kanda." Toma nodded as she began to sob more and uncontrollably. Toma than walked over and sat on the edge of the bed and what he said made her eyes widen as she looked at him "Do not cry Onna." _'That voice'_ she thought as she stared blankly at him and that's when he reached up and pulled the hood off and the scarf from his face and she felt herself actually stop breathing for a moment "K-Kanda?" He grinned at her slightly "I'm sorry but I had to keep it a secret even from you." She then lifted her hand and smacked him across the face _'I deserved that'_ he thought as his head snapped to the side she grabbed it with both her hands and turned it back to her as tears fell from her eyes "I-I thought you were dead. H-How could you do that to me?" He looked to the floor then back to her "I needed to be here to protect you and the baby. Link came up with the idea." His eyes then closed slowly "But I never thought Toma would be killed in my place." He opened them back up and grabbed her fore arms lightly "I had to keep it secret this way the heads think I'm dead and if they come I will be here. Please onna forgive me for not telling you but I had to make them think it was real." She was staring at the ground as he spoke but then her eyes slowly rose to meet his "Kanda your alive that's all that matters to me." He then let her go and began to take the finder clothing off "I never thought that you finding out I was dead would throw you into labor." He then sat back down as a contraction hit her and this one was more intense than the others as she grabbed the front of his shirt "AHHHHHHH I'LL KILL YOU LATEEEER!" Then as it passed she leaned back against the pillows as he leaned forward "I would not miss the birth of our child onna." She looked up at him smiling and trying to breathe as he took her hand and held it.

As Komui exited the room Allen jumped up "Hey why does Toma get to stay in there with her?" Lavi then stepped in front of Allen "Yeah were her friends we should be in there with her!" Just then came a scream from the room "OOOOOOH MYYYYY GOD I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!" Allen shrunk back behind Chevi as he pulled her in front of him while shaking "Uhhhhh, on second thought I think we may be safer out here." Lavi's mouth hit the ground because of Alana's language and he stepped back and in a shrieking voice "Yeeeah let Toma be with her."

Kanda pried Alana's hand from the bed rail and pulled her face to his "Onna" He said sternly as he stared at her "You can do this." She then nodded to him in agreement as the nurse came in to check her. She then looked at Kanda "Glad to see you're alive." He raised his finger to his lips "Ssssh no one knows." She winked and nodded "Your secret is safe Kanda I've known you since you were just a little tyke and I knew you couldn't die that easily." Kanda just grinned at her, she was right though she had been the nurse for the Order ever since he could remember and he knew she wouldn't betray him. The contractions were now getting closer together as she walked over to the bed "It shouldn't be long now" Kanda nodded as Alana just gripped his hand tightly as every contraction hit and she screamed out "AHHHHHH PLEASE LET IT BE OVER SOON!"

It then came time for her to push as the nurse coached her and Kanda helped by bracing her up from behind. As each contraction hit she was told to push and she pushed till she thought she couldn't anymore. Finally the nurse smiled at Kanda "I see the head" Kanda inhaled slightly at that knowing it would be over soon and as he thought that another contraction hit and he braced her up as she pushed and yelled at the top of her lungs. She looked up at Kanda and he nodded to her as if to say '_You're almost there' _The nurse looked up "Alright Alana on the next one push as hard as you can and don't stop till I tell you" Alana nodded her heavy weakened head as Kanda just held onto her as tight as he could. The contraction hit and he lifted her to push and she pushed hard as she yelled "KAAAAAANDAAAAA." Everyone outside heard her and their hearts sank thinking their friend would never see his child. That's when they heard the baby cry, it was loud with lungs like its father they thought and they all smiled at each other that she had done it.

Alana heard the cry and laughed and cried at the same time as Kanda laid her back on the pillows. The nurse looked up at him "It's a boy and he looks just like his father." Leaning down he placed a kiss upon her forehead as he whispered "You did it onna and it's a boy just like you said." The nurse cut the cord then walked the baby over and wiped him off, then she wrapped a small blanket around him and walked back over and laid him next to Alana. Kanda looked down upon his son and his heart filled with such pride at that moment. He studied the small boys face and the nurse was right he did look exactly like him even down to the little scowl he had on his face as the nurse braced him against his mother. His head was full of black hair and Kanda reached down and placed his finger next to the baby's hand and he clamped on and Kanda chuckled as he looked at Alana "Oi good grip for a sword" Alana rolled her eyes as she shook her head some "Not till he's older" Kanda was amazed at this little person he was looking at, that he himself had helped create. He was in fact a human after all and this little person was proof of that.

The nurse looked at Kanda "Do you want to hold him?" Kanda just shook his head "I might break him" he had never in his life held a baby but Alana looked up and cradled her arms in front of her "Hold your arms like this" she said softly as he did what she said and the nurse picked the baby up and placed his son in his arms for the first time and Kanda froze not moving a muscle as he looked down at this little, tiny, person who for the rest of his life he was responsible for. Alana saw his statue like stature "Are you alright?" He didn't say anything it was the tear that ran down his cheek that said it all as he shifted his eyes her way and softly said "Hai onna I am alright and I am very happy right now." The baby slightly cried as he held him tighter to his body and whispered "Aishiteru my little one" Alana looked at the pride and happiness on the husbands face and she knew this little person had just changed both of their lives.


	12. Chapter 12

AN: While writing this story I was browsing Youtube Amv's and I came across one I really liked. It has Kanda and Nezumi from No.6 in it. I had pictured Kanda's son when he got older in my mind when I was writing this but that video put it all in my head. Go to Youtube and put in Kanda and Nezuni song is 'In the shadows.' It's a cool video the way it's done but that's what I picture his son looking and acting like when he's older LOL.

Where do we go from here chap. 12

Alana had went to sleep and Kanda was sitting in the chair next to the bed when Komui walked in "Kanda, Allen would like to see you." Kanda looked up and he knew Allen was the only one who knew about the plan "Hai" Komui walked back out as Allen walked and over to Kanda he looked down at the baby in Kanda's arms as he slept "Hey straight fringe he looks just like you." Kanda just scowled at him as Allen leaned closer down to get a better look "He even has your scowl" He chuckled some after that and Kanda then grinned some "Hai he is beautiful." Then he looked up and his eyes studied Allen's face "Moyahsi what is it?" Allen just lowered his gaze "You know when everyone finds out your alive their going to want to kill you themselves for lying." Kanda just shrugged "Hai I know but it was for their own good and Alana's to keep it quiet." Allen nodded "I know but it was hard to lie to them. When John came back and I had to act like that the only thing I thought about was Toma dying and what if it had truly been you." Kanda slightly smiled at Allen "Oi Moyashi I am glad you care so much but I understand how you feel. We will make them pay so that Toma's death was not in vein." Allen just sighed "So what's the plan? When do you think they'll come?" Kanda looked down at his son then he leaned forward and laid the baby in between Alana's arm and her body as he stood up and waved Allen to the other side of the room and began to whisper "I'm sure they now the baby has been born so they will probably give us maybe a day I figure since they think I'm not around and after the birth Alana won't be much of a fight." Allen nodded as he clinched his fist "I'm ready whenever you are but you know what this means Kanda." Allen knew if they fought the heads there would be no being exorcists anymore they would be outcast, banned from any kind of connection with the Order or even killed. Kanda looked back at Alana and his son "I don't care what it costs me as long as they're safe." Allen nodded as he looked to Alana and the baby "You right he deserves to live a life outside the Order and not have the threat of being turned into one of us." Kanda just sighed "Hai Moyashi but I don't know if I have passed anything to him yet" Kanda then looked at Allen and said worriedly "He may already be one of us." Allen shrugged as he sighed heavily and whispered "That shouldn't matter he still deserves a life of his own without all the damn experiments and tests." Kanda nodded in agreement as Allen turned to leave "Let me know when it's time Kanda." Kanda then said his name quickly "Allen" Allen turned and his eyes widened as Kanda lowered his head "Arigato for everything." Allen smiled a bright smile "Your welcome Kanda and thank you for showing me how to believe in myself and do what I think is right." Sighing Kanda knew this was going to be a huge fight especially if the heads brought the Crows, their own magical little police force with them. He went back over and sat in the chair and stared at Alana and his son sleeping peacefully. Resting his elbows on his knees he brought his hands to his face and laid his chin atop them _'So now it's come to this. Keeping my family safe from a dickhead.'_

Allen walked to the cafeteria where He met Lavi, Chevi and Lenalee and as he sat down he looked around and made sure no one could hear him as he then turned to his friends "I have something to tell you guys and don't get mad just listen." They all turned their eyes to him as he leaned forward and whispered "Kanda is alive." Lavi's eyes widened "WHAT?" Allen reached over and stuff his hand over his mouth "Ssssh Lavi we don't want anyone to hear." Lavi mumbled something and Allen removed his hand as Lavi turned to him and whispered "What are you saying Yu is alive?" Allen shook his head yes as the girls leaned forward and Allen explained "We had to make it look like Kanda was killed." His eyes lowered "It was actually Toma that was killed and we weren't expecting that." Everyone's eyes lowered hearing that but then Lavi's head shot up quickly "So what you're telling us is Kanda was here the whole time?" Allen nodded slowly "Yes he was dressed as a finder." Chevi smiled at Allen "So he was here when the baby was born?" Allen grinned widely "Yes he was with Alana and they both are doing fine. As a matter of fact he's still there now…waiting for the heads to make their move." Lavi jumped up and slammed his hands on the table "Well then we have to help." Allen slightly smiled "I was hoping you'd say that."

Kanda sat in the chair as Alana fed their son and he watched intensely as his son fed on his mother's breast "Oi he has an appetite. Hopefully he won't grow up eating like the moyashi." She grinned at him "No he'll grow up strong like his father." His lip curled into a smile at the edge of his mouth as she gave him a puzzled look then crossed her face "You know we haven't even discussed a name yet Kanda." She said as the baby finished its meal and dozed off to sleep. Kanda then leaned forward putting his hand to his chin "Hai he needs a name but I want it to be a good name." she looked at him as she laid the baby on the bed and putting her feet on the floor she went to stand and Kanda's eyes widened "Oi what are you doing? You just had a baby you can't be getting up right now." He only said that because he remembered the nurse saying she tore some down there while delivering his son and she had to stitch her up some. Alana smiled as she stood up "I feel fine Kanda as a matter of fact I feel great. I don't know why but I feel better than I have in months." Giving her a puzzling look Kanda thought for a moment and he had to admit his wife didn't look like she had just given birth three hours ago. Hell most women he thought would still be asleep or sore but Alana looked healthy and full of energy. Reaching over he took her arm as she stood "Be careful with moving around alright." He said as she stood up then sat on the edge of the bed "Now for a name. You name him Kanda because he is after all your legacy." _'Legacy' _Kanda thought and he never thought he would have that. Someone to carry on after him. Sitting there he stared forward not saying a word and the look of thought that was on his face made her grin. He was thinking heavily about this and the look made it seem like his head was going to burst at any moment till he looked up and grinned "Rin" She cocked her head to the side "Rin?" Kanda smiled as he looked at his son "Hai his name will be Rin" She looked down at the baby and slightly smiled again "Rin. I like it." It wasn't anything traditional or hard it was just plain and simple and Kanda seemed to like it then his face got a serious look to it and his eyes lowered as he spoke softly "His middle name will be Toma though" He said sternly as he stood up and walked to the window "Toma will not die a meaningless death because of me. I will avenge him for doing such a favor that cost him his life and my son will carry his name on." He clinched his fist and gritted his teeth and Alana could tell Toma's death had hit her husband harder than he was letting on. She stood up and walked over sliding her hands around his waist as she laid her head on his back "It's a fine name husband and he will carry it proudly." Kanda reached his hand up and put it atop hers on his stomach "Arigato onna for giving me a son and letting me name him." He then turned and hugged her tightly and smiled down at her "You need to get back in bed now." She lifted her head and shook it slightly "I told you I feel fine. I don't feel at all tired and I'm not even sore down there anymore." Kanda sighed then he let her go and walked to the door calling the nurse in. He didn't know what to think but he had a strange feeling about this as he asked the nurse to examine his wife from head to toe. After she had finished her examination she turned to Kanda with a puzzled look "I don't understand this she is completely healed down there. There is no sign she has even gave birth and her vitals and strength are completely normal." Kanda then glanced to his son as he asked the nurse to do some tests on him. She went over and took some blood from the baby then she called Komui to come in and do the test but right after the blood was taken Kanda noticed the hole healed itself in a matter of seconds. His eyes widened thinking maybe his healing power had been passed on in the baby's genes. But it made no sense to him how Alana was healed in the process because his healing power only worked on him.

As Allen and the rest of them sat in the cafeteria talking they all heard the sound of heavy boots hitting the floor. As Allen turned to look he saw Leverrier walk past the door followed by what looked like about fifteen Crow members following him in sets of two down the hall. Their footsteps echoed as their boots hit the floor. It was like an army troop passing in the hall. Allen's eyes widened _'NOW? It's happening now?' _He stood up and looked at the rest of them "It's going down now guys come on." He said turning and running the back way to the infirmary as everyone else followed behind him. Bookman was walking down the hall and he saw them all running with the look of an intended fight on their faces. He stopped Lavi "Lavi do not interfere with this. It is not our place." Lavi had never defied Bookman before but this time he pulled his arm away "No gramps this is wrong and you know it. I'm not standing by and letting it happen. Yu needs our help and I'm going to help him." Bookman knew there was nothing he could do to stop the stupid kid and he knew it was wrong. He also knew that he wasn't going to stop Lavi if he felt this strongly about it so he stepped aside. What nobody knew at that particular moment was that Marie and Tiedoll were on their way to the Black Order they had hoped to get there before Kanda's child was born but they never figured it would come two weeks early and they would be walking in to a fight they would have to join also to protect their comrade and student.

Kanda's ears picked up heavy footsteps that sounded like they were in sync coming down the hall. '_There are many'_ he thought as he turned and grabbed Mugen and then said to Alana "Get the baby and remember what I told you onna." Grabbing her clothes, whip and the baby she stood there waiting for what was to come. Kanda could hear the footsteps getting closer and he stood between her and the door with Mugen posed up in front of his face as he stood in a battle stance. He was still and quiet as he waited for the door to open and when the footsteps stopped outside he exhaled slowly as his eyes narrowed when the door flew open and Leverrier was standing on the other side. Leverrier's eyes widened at the sight of the battle ready samurai he found on the other side of the door "Well, well I thought you were dead." Kanda just turned his head slightly "Che" never taking his eyes off Leverrier "I know you wished I was dead." He said firmly as he then moved Mugen to the back of him and put his other arm out in front of him. This was a stance only few had seen because it meant Kanda was about to attack as his eyes kept a firm sight on all that were behind Leverrier.

Leverrier then grinned deviously "You're not planning on taking all of the Crows on yourself are you now Kanda? It truly would be pointless and you will most definitely die." Kanda gritted his teeth as he grinned deviously also "That would be my plan and I don't plan on dying today." Alana stood behind him wide eyed holding Rin tightly as she scanned the room for a way out. The two doors on opposite sides of the room led to different rooms and she wasn't sure where they led too. Leverrier nodded to the man on his left "Get me that child!" He demanded and the man nodded as he began to move forward quickly but Kanda moved faster as he swiped Mugen to the side and cut the man across the mid-section as he tried to pass and it sent him to the ground bleeding heavily. Leverrier sighed as he raised his arm calling forth three more Crows to come forward and Kanda pulled Mugen to the front "Innocence activate" He said sliding his index and middle finger up the kanata's blade. His eyes fixed on the three behind Levrrier. Just then the doors on both sides of the room burst open with Allen in one and Lavi in the other. Kanda's eyes never left the three men as he grinned "Moyashi you're late." He said firmly as Allen walked forward and Crown Clown was already activated as he took the right of Kanda "I'm sorry I got here as fast as I could. There were more in the hall that needed taken care of." Lavi then walked forward and stood on the left of Kanda "Boy Yu you sure know how to throw a party with uninvited guests don't you?" Kanda just stared forward "Hai" Kanda glanced his eyes side to side to see his two friends and at that moment he realized everything they were all giving up as he looked forward again stone faced "Oi are you two sure about this? You don't have to do this you know." Allen just grinned deviously "Why according to them I'm already a traitor so I have nothing to lose." Lavi grinned a huge grin "I'm tired of working for assholes that try to take innocent children." He then braced himself on his left foot behind him as he leaned forward ready for a battle.

Chevi reached the doorway to the right "Alana this way" She waved as Alana took one more look at her husband and he said "Koishiteru NOW GO ONNA!" she nodded "I love you too" then she turned and ran to the door where Chevi and Komui were standing at. Now that she was gone Kanda could concentrate on the fight in front of him. But he was still worried about her and the baby as Leverrier ordered five men to follow her and ordered then to bring the child to him after they disposed of the mother. The three pissed off exorcists that were standing in front of him didn't faze him till Kanda held Mugen up in the air "MUGEN PULL ON MY LIFE FORCE AS YOU NEED IT AND GAIN POWER!" As he lowered the Katana Leverrier saw the lines grow under his eyes and his pupils separate into three dots. Lavi ordered his hammer to grow as all three began there run towards everyone at the door. Leverrier stepped out of the way and let the Crows fight.

Alana and Chevi were running through the halls as the Crows followed them and she heard the fighting behind her. She quickly turned a corner then handed Chevi the baby and her clothes as she grabbed her whip and dropped the pointed end to the ground grasping the hilt of it tightly. Turning to Chevi she glared "Sete, a town outside of Montpellier, The Sapphire inn if I don't make it take him there. Kanda will find you." Chevi nodded a slight nod as her friend stood between her and the Crows "GO! Take him to safety."Chevi turned to run but there were two Crows now behind her as her and Alana stood back to back. Alana'a eyes scanned around them as she said "Innocence activate" and her whip began to glow. Chevi had pulled her gun and activated her innocence as they both waited for the Crows to attack. Alana felt something in her change at that moment as her innocence started pulling every source of energy from her it could and as she swung the whip over her head in a circular motion she targeted one of the Crows a swung it out. As it hit him instead of electrocuting him he blew into tiny pieces and splattered everywhere as Alana grinned widely '_So you pick now to grow stronger? This is good.' _She thought bringing the point of the whip back to the floor she then began swinging it again over her head as she swiped it out and hit another Crow and he blew up also. Chevi was busy with the two behind them as they dodged her bullets from her gun getting ever so close. Swinging the whip backwards over Chevi's head Alana took one out then swung it back but she was a little short on that one as he took his knife and cut her leg from the thigh to past her knee. Blood began to gush from the huge gash as she screamed in pain. Chevi turned and raised her gun shooting him point blank in the head as Alana swung the whip backwards and took the last one out. Both women were breathing heavily as they saw Lenalee running towards them. She saw Alana's leg and grabbed her arm putting it around her shoulder "Come on Komui has a boat ready." She said helping them both down the hallway.

Allen was in a fierce fight with a Crow and wrapped him in crown clown cloth as he flung him to the wall breaking his neck instantly. Kanda had become a mad man covered in blood and eyes narrowed, teeth clinched as he worked his way through the remaining Crows to try to get to Leverrier. Lavi was fighting as he got thrown against the wall and then ordered his hammer to grow as he smashed another guy against the wall killing him. The Crows magic was fading as each one died and Leverrier knew it was only a matter of time before Kanda reached him so he decided to end Kanda here and now. Pulling a revolver from his breast pocket he took aim at the charging samurai's head. As he started to squeeze the trigger slowly he whispered "Goodbye pain in the ass exorcist." Just as he thought he was going to be rid of Kanda all they heard was "Strings attach" and Leverrier was now bound by the strings of Marie as he struggled against them. Link then walked up behind him and whispered in his ear as he wrapped his arm around Leverrier's neck "You should have listened to me when I told you this wasn't going to end well for you." Leverrier's eyes widened as Link snapped his neck killing him instantly as he hit the floor. Tiedoll walked into the room seeing Kanda and Lavi finish off the remaining Crows. Allen was completely not in control of his actions as was Kanda. Walking over to Kanda he placed his hand on his shoulder "You must stop now, its over Yu." Kanda eye's narrowed as he turned and he was breathing heavily as his chest rose and fell, not even thinking he took a swing at his master. The rage in his eyes even frightened Tiedoll for a moment as he dodged the attack and grabbed Kanda's forearms "Pull it back Kanda" Kanda's innocence was on full overload as he then began to pull it back realizing he'd just almost attacked Tiedol and he fell to his knees from pure exhaustion along with Allen following behind him after Link went and stopped him from massacring the men on the ground. Fighting the Crows and their magic had sent their innocence into overdrive and they were both beyond the point of controlling their actions at the last. Lavi was in a state of full blow defense mode as Bookman walked over and slapped him in the face "IDIOT!" he yelled as Lavi then fell to the floor breathing heavily holding his face.

Tiedoll reached down placing his hand on Kanda's shoulder "Where is your wife?" Kanda looked up and his eyes widened as he then grabbed onto Tiedoll and tried to stand. He pointed towards the door as Tiedoll helped him down the way Alana went. Getting to the hallway where Alana and Chevi had fought the Crows he saw the massive puddle of blood on the floor and he fell to his knees thinking they had been captured. Tiedoll looked around and saw the mess of bits and pieces of human remains scattered all over and he looked down to Kanda "I think she might have escaped" he then saw the trail of blood leading down to the boat docks. Reaching down he wrapped Kanda's arm around his shoulder again as they made their way to where the boats were usually docked. There was one missing and the trail of blood led right to where it would be as Kanda slightly smiled and whispered "Haaai she must have got away." Kanda then gathered his strength and stood up taking his arm from around Tiedoll's neck "We must go back and get the others and leave before we're all arrested and killed by what's left of the heads." Tiedoll nodded as they turned and started back to the room where everyone was. Link stopped Kanda as he entered the room "You all must leave now I will take care of everything when they come to find out what happened. I will contact you when this is over but stay out of sight and do not under any circumstance use your innocence" Kanda agreed as he walked over sheathing Mugen on his side he helped Allen off the floor he wrapped the young exorcists arm around his waist as he helped him out of the room. Bookman and Marie helped Lavi as they all walked to the boat docks and Kanda helped Allen into the boat. Everyone else entered and Tiedoll pushed off and began to push the boat out into the water with the pole. They had just killed many of the Orders military magic police squad not to mention the head was lying dead with a broken neck in their Order. There was no explaining what had went down and what had went wrong they were all now fugitives of the Black Order and they would have to hide from them till they heard from Link.


	13. Chapter 13

AN: YAAAAY that asshole Leverrier is dead thanks to Link snapping his neck and now our exorcists are on the run.

Where do we go from here chap. 13

As Tiedol manned the boat Marie watched over the sleeping exorcists as they all slept. They were exhausted from their fight and now Kanda was hopefully going to meet up with his wife and child. He had told Tiedol before he passed out where to go and he headed the boat in that direction he only hoped that Kanda's wife and child were there.

Alana, the baby, Komui, Lenalee and Chevi all arrived at the Sapphire Inn as Chevi went in to find the owner. When they both came back the owner whose name was Anna took one look at Alana's leg and told them to bring her upstairs. She cleaned, sewed and bandaged her leg as best she could but the cut was deep and she had lost a lot of blood on the way there. Chevi took the baby and her and Lenalee watched over him while Komui stayed with Alana. She had a high fever from the infection that had set into her leg on the way there. They had to use parts of their clothes they had to tie around her leg and those weren't exactly sterile from the fight they had been in. Komui sat and hoped Kanda would follow soon. The baby was crying a lot and no one could comfort him they had tried feeding him but he didn't want the bottle they tried. Chevi was getting concerned that maybe something was wrong with him. This went on for three hours and everyone was at their wits end when the door finally opened and Kanda and the rest of them stepped through it. Kanda heard his son crying and walked straight over to Chevi "Oi let me see him." He said as she handed the baby to him and he spoke softly to him "Oi Rin what's the matter?" The baby instantly stopped crying when he heard Kanda's voice and had a look of content on his face as Kanda held him. Chevi slumped her shoulders down forward "We have been trying to get him to stop crying for three hours now." Kanda just slightly smiled as Lenalee walked over and stared down at Rin's content face "He knows his father's voice." She said smiling as he then looked around the room "Where is Alana?" Chevi's eyes lowered "Her leg was cut badly and now an infection has set in. Komui is in the next room with her." She gazed up at Kanda and said worriedly "It's really bad Kanda." Kanda inhaled deeply as he took his son and walked to the door then stopping he turned back "Has he eaten yet?" They both shook their heads no "We tried to feed him with a bottle but he wasn't having any of that." Kanda just grinned "It's his mother he wants." As he opened the door and walked in Komui turned to him and stood up "Kanda I'm glad you're here. Her leg is infected badly and she's running a high fever from the infection. We have to get it down quickly or I'm afraid of what will happen." Kanda figured that Rin had something to do with Alana's healing before as he walked over to the bed. He leaned down close to her ear "Onna our son is hungry. He needs you to feed him." Komui just stared at Kanda because she was in no position to feed a child right now. "Kanda" she said softly as her eyes slowly opened and he looked down at her and said semi sternly "Alana you have to feed Rin he's hungry." She then looked at their son and nodded as Kanda handed the baby to Komui and helped Alana sit up some. Then taking the baby from Komui he placed him in her arms and Kanda turned to Komui and frowned as Komui got a slight bit nervous "Oooh" he said turning around and facing the wall. Kanda noticed she looked pale so he placed his hand on her forehead as she pulled her shirt down and moved the baby towards her breast. He had to admit her forehead was burning up so reaching for the cover Kanda pulled it back to examine the huge gash in her leg after removing some bandages he realized they were right it looked bad. He just hoped that what his eyes witnessed at the Order wasn't a trick that they played on him. As Alana tried to breast feed Rin Kanda kept an eye on her leg but the baby wouldn't nurse he started to cry then all of a sudden right in front of Kanda's eyes he watched as the huge gash started to heal on her leg. He sighed heavily knowing now his son had the power to heal others. After the gash healed on his mother's leg Rin clamped onto her breast and ate contently as she looked at Kanda's widened eyes "What is it?" He gazed over at her smiling slightly then exhaled "It seems our son can heal others." Her eyes widened as he pulled the bandages away more from her leg to show her and she couldn't believe it her leg was completely healed. Kanda figured that's why Rin wouldn't stop crying was because he knew somehow his mother was injured. Now looking at him he was content and quietly eating drifting off into slumber. Kanda reached up and placed his hand on his sons head "Oi little one I'm going to have to teach you how to use this without getting detected." Komui then cleared his throat "I was going to tell you I had noticed some immunities in his blood work but I never thought it could be something like this." Kanda stood up walking over and taking Komui by the back of the shirt he escorted him to the door and opened it "Oi when he's done eating we'll discuss this more." He then pushed Komui out the door and shut it. He then turned and looked at his family, he had never thought in a million years that he could have passed something like this onto his son. The boys healing power was extraordinarily strong to be able to heal others after just being born. He was now more worried about what would happen with the Order he just hoped that Link could handle the explanation and he hoped the heads would buy the story they had come up with. As all of them sat in the other room waiting for Kanda to return they realized they were now on their own. There was no more going on missions or fighting akuma unless it was life or death and they now had to stay hidden till they heard from Link and that could take quite a while. Figuring out what to do with their lives was now their main concern, they had no money except what they had together. They had all planned on staying together because of the strength in numbers.

Kanda exited the room as everyone stood up to hear the news of how Alana was. Kanda just slightly smiled "She is fine but it seems my son can heal others." Looking at the girls "That's why he was crying he knew his mother was hurt. Now he is as quiet and content as can be and her leg is healed." Allen shook his head knowing this put a whole different twist on the situation as he looked at Kanda "We're going to have to find some place secluded to live so that he doesn't come in contact with many people." Kanda nodded "Hai" as he then looked to the rest of their group "I'm not asking all of you to do this." Lavi grinned and stepped forward "Are you kidding me if we do this we do it together." Lenalee second it and so did Komui as he put his hand to his chin "You know I could probably come up with something that will-"He was cut off by shouts of "NOOOO!" from everyone as he then sulked for a moment with them remembering the many catastrophes of his other experiments. Kanda then walked to the center of the room "Oi then it is settled we all stick together and take care of each other." Allen stepped forward and nodded "Yes if one of us is in trouble then I guess we're all in trouble." Kanda then looked at Marie and Tiedol "You two have nothing to do with this and as far as the heads go you will never be associated with it. Link told me that before I left. He'll keep it as you two walked in and tried to help but there was really nothing you could do. So go back and find out the situation and I'll leave word with Anna where we're going to be." Tiedol hated to see one of his students have to go to such great lengths but he knew now that Kanda had been right in what he did. If the heads got their hands on his child they would open up a whole new exorcist program. Tiedol walked over to Kanda and gazed at him "Yu I know you will take care of everyone but I ask you my son to take care of yourself too. Teach your child all you know about fighting and the Order in case they come after him later. Teach him how to spot them quickly and tell him who is friend and who is enemy. I and Marie will return and I'll keep my ears pealed but I will find out where you are and we will visit periodically when we know the coast is clear." Kanda just scowled at him "I wish you wouldn't refer to me as son but I know that's how you feel so I'm not going to argue with you this time. I will teach Rin who is who and I look forward to seeing you both again later." Tiedol bowed knowing he shouldn't hug Kanda and he walked outside to wait for Marie who walked up next to Kanda "You know he does think of you as a son Kanda and thank you for not arguing the point with him this time. He was so excited about seeing your child and being a part of its life and now that has been taken from him by the Order." Kanda's eyes softened as he walked to the door "Oi follow me." Tiedol looked up at him wiping the small tear he had running down his cheek realizing he'd never be a part of the child's life now as he followed Kanda to the room. Kanda sighed as he opened the door and waved Tiedol in as Alana was sitting there holding him. "Alana may I introduce you to Froi Tiedol he would like to see Rin." Tiedol just looked at Kanda and slightly smiled as Alana waved him over "Would you like to hold him?" Smiling and nodding Tiedol put his arms out as Alana placed him in them. Marie then walked through the door and smiled placing his hand on Kanda's shoulder "You have done something nice. Are you getting soft now?" Kanda turned his head to the side "Che" Marie just chuckled as they watched Tiedol coo over the baby and Kanda just slightly grinned and shook his head at the old man's baby talk and he thought he sounded utterly ridiculous but he let him keep doing it. About a half hour later Tiedol stood and handed the baby back to Alana "Thank you so much for letting me hold him. He's so precious and he looks just like Yu." Kanda growled "Don't call me that old man." Tiedol just grinned and turned to Marie "Let's get going Marie so these guys can rest." He started to walk to the door but then stopped and turned around "Kanda remember to tell Anna where you guys decide to go. I'll be in touch as soon as possible and good luck to you all. But remember do not use your innocence unless it is life or death." Kanda nodded as Tiedol and Marie walked out and said their goodbyes to the others and left.

Everyone had figured they would stay the night and get a fresh start in the morning they only had to decide where they wanted to go. It is a big world and they could go anywhere they wanted without having to carry the name of exorcists with them, they were free if only for a while.

Later that afternoon Kanda had come back from scouting around the town with Lavi. He entered the room to see Alana getting dressed "Oi Onna where is the baby?" She continued pulling her pants up as she smiled "I let Allen and Chevi take him for a few minutes while I changed." Kanda looked over his shoulder but there was no sign of either of them "You let the moyashi take the baby?" He asked sternly but there was a hint of concern in his voice "Yes Kanda I let Allen take the baby." She sighed as she walked over to him "After everything that has happened you still have a hard time trusting people don't you?" Kanda just sighed and looked to the side "Hai I do." She placed her hand on his shoulder "You even still distrust your friends, our friends that helped us pull this off? Kanda those guys would do anything for you because they consider you a friend." Kanda walked over and sat on the bed "Hai I don't know why. I pushed both of them away and I tried not to get close to them." Alana walked over and sat on the bed next to him as she took his hand "Kanda it doesn't matter how you treated them they are still your friends. They have stuck with you through everything that has happened in the past year." Kanda's eyes widened as he turned to her "Yes I know all about the last year. I asked Komui about some things and even though all of you have been through hell you've all managed to stay together and protect each other. So don't you think they would stick with you now after everything?" Kanda never thought about it quite like that but she was right he had to start trusting his them, they had been through hell and they had stuck together. This was a life changing dilemma they were in and if he couldn't trust them then they weren't going to make it very far.

Allen knocked on the door softly "Uh Alana I think Rin needs a change." She smiled and leaned over and kissed Kanda's cheek as she got up and answered the door "Thanks for watching him Allen while I got dressed." Allen smiled "No problem he's great." Kanda stood up and walked over and looked at his son then he turned to Allen "Moyashi, get Lavi and meet me outside we have some things to discuss." Allen nodded and gave Kanda a perplexed look but then turned to go find Lavi who by the way was spending time with Lenalee and being stalked by Komui as he plotted some crazy idea on how to dismember Lavi for holding hands with his sister. As Allen and Lavi walked towards where Kanda was waiting Komui dove out of a tree next to them "DIIIIE! YOU SISTER SEDUCER!" Kanda then lifted his foot and kicked Komui straight in the face sending him flying backwards as he walked over to him "Oi Komui stop screwing around." He then looked at him seriously with a death glare "You need to be in on this conversation too." Komui picked himself up off the ground and fixed his glasses as Kanda turned to him "Oi Komui you're going to have to put your feelings aside right now because we have to stick together. Lavi likes Lenalee and she likes him so just get used to it or I can chop you into tiny pieces right now and leave you here." He then turned to face Allen and Lavi as he whispered "Hai one less mouth to feed would be good." Komui just stood there and shook for a few moments at the samurai's last statement then he started to walk forward to where Allen and Lavi were standing.

They all sat and discussed in heavy thought where the best place for them to go was. They had limited places because the Order had headquarters all over the world but there was one branch that they trusted more than the others and that was the Asian branch. Kanda knew if anyone would keep their secret it would be Bak so they decided they would go to China. There they could find a place secluded to stay of the radar and wait for Link to get in touch with them. Standing up Lavi stuck his hand out in front of him "Here's to sticking together" Allen placed his on top of Lavi's as did Komui, Bookman had straggled in at the lst of the conversation and he placed his in too. They all looked at Kanda as he just stood there for a moment then rolled his eyes as he stuck his on top and stared at his _'Friends'_ he thought then he slightly smiled "Hai." They all smiled because finally they got Kanda to participate in one of their pull together rituals. So they figured a good night's sleep then they'd start their journey to China tomorrow. Anna had told them they could stay as long as they needed but Kanda knew that they were putting her in danger just being there and he apologized to her for that and told her they would be on their way tomorrow. Anna had known Kanda since he was about eleven and he was always the silent, none participant, scowling boy that she remembered but this time she saw a slight change in him while he was there and it warmed her heart some to see him finally slightly smiling.


	14. Chapter 14

AN: I'm leaning towards bringing the noah inside Allen under control in order for Allen to stay Allen. Kanda has his work cut out for him to gain Neah's trust.

Where do we go from here chap.14

It had been six months since that day at the Order and the old Pope died and a new one came to lead. He was a reasonable man with a thirst for killing the Earl and taking humanity back and bringing peace back to the world. His outlook was for the exorcists he saw them as God's warriors and they were the ones that risked their lives. He did not see them as expendable like Leverrier did he had a great respect for them. He had been a cardinal six months ago when he heard about the craziness that went on with Leverrier's death but he wanted to know more so he called Howard Link in for a chat. Link had been put in charge where Leverrier left off only Link was on the exorcist's side too. He had stopped all experiments on any exorcists that was unnecessary. The North American branch didn't like that much but they couldn't really continue their third exorcist program anymore without Alma. Slowly Link was trying to stop the torture of making more powerful exorcists through science and the Pope liked that. He had seen better result's in the exorcist's performances than he had in previous years leading up to the old Pope's death.

As Link walked into his Excellency's conference room he saw the Pope standing by the window looking out over his city. "Your excellency" He bowed as he spoke and the Pope turned "Ahhh Howard Link please come and sit with me we have much to discuss." Link walked over and took a chair as the Pope sat across from him and crossed his hands on his lap "Tell me of this outburst that took place six months ago when three of our best exorcists had to fight against Leverrier." Link began to explain to the Pope what Leverrier had in mind for Kanda's child and as he spoke he noticed the man was listening intensely and when he finally finished the Pope just sat there a moment then he slightly sighed "I really don't understand people who would use other human beings as just frivolous experiments and I really don't like people that go after innocent children." The Pope looked at Link "Do you know that day we lost three of our best warriors against the Earl. Yu Kanda was a great asset to the order, He may have been made by the Order but he was his own person and a great swordsman. His power was beyond the Orders imagination and they treated him like he was just a servant to their needs and a savage killer." He then stood and walked to the window "I have read the files on him and I understand his reluctance to surrender his child. As a matter of fact I applaud his rise to protect his child it showed that he had grown not only in power but also as a human." The Pope then turned and stared at Link "Allen Walker was under your protection was he not?" Link nodded "Yes sir" The Pope put his hands in his robe and walked back over "And you say it was because of him that you killed Leverrier?" Link nodded again as he looked up at the Pope "Leverrier was going to kill Kanda and after that he would have killed Allen Walker and Lavi Bookman. It was my job as his body guard to protect him with any means possible although at the time I choose to protect them all sir." The Pope stared at Link for a moment the he sat back down in the chair and leaned towards Link "I think you and me think the same my son. It is our job to protect the exorcists and let them do their job for God, which is to rid the world of the Millennium Earl." He then smiled at Link and pointed at him "I'm making you the new Secretary of the heads and I'm going to pick new ones and get rid of the old ones that were all involved in this darkness Leverrier had going." The Pope then shook his head slightly yes "I think you and I can bring the exorcist program to a new level and we can trust our exorcists to fight for God and humanity because they want to not because they think they have too." He smiled as he sat back "God's chosen warriors shouldn't have to fight in fear of being experimented on or think their obligated too they should fight because it's a calling for them to protect people from evil." Link was happy to hear the Pope say that he thought for sure he was in for a reprimand or even a sentence to death for killing Leverrier but it seemed he and the new Pope both saw the same potential for the Black Order. The Pope stood and walked to the window as he looked out over the vast city "Howard Link your first duty as new secretary is to find those exorcists that have been in hiding for the past six months. We are going to remake the Order here in Paris and I want them back. They are a precious resource to our cause." He turned and grinned at Link "And besides we can't have Three exorcists" He then counted Alana, Chevi and Lenalee "No wait six exorcists" Then he frowned "Really we lost six to this outburst?" He asked Link softly as Link nodded to him and the Pope straightened his shoulders back "Well then we can't have six exorcists who could be fighting the good fight out there hiding along with a scientist, a Bookman and not to mention a baby." Link slightly grinned as he walked over and stood next to the Pope "You know it's not going to be easy to talk Kanda into coming back." The Pope put his hand to his chin as he slightly scowled "Yes the poor guy has never trusted anyone as far as I can remember. But tell him he has my word as the Pope no harm will come to him or his family. If there are problems Link let me know and I shall take care of whoever is causing them." He turned again and dropped his hand to his side to stare out the window "This is a new day, a new time for the Order to do what it was meant to and that is fight evil. I'm not going to put up with all the other things that went on before if people don't like it they can be replaced. Yu Kanda was treated unfairly in his life and I want to make things right with him." He turned to Link and smiled "Find him and have him come meet with me personally then and I shall talk to him." Link bowed slightly "Yes your excellency" He they stood and turned to walk out the door "I shall fulfill this task as swiftly as I can. Finding them is not going to be easy though, they have had plenty of time to blend in with society." The Pope waved his hand "Do your best Link I know if anyone can find them you can." After Link left the Pope stood and stared out the window a little longer. He was truly concerned on how the Order was ran in the past and if he couldn't convince Kanda and the rest to give the Order a second chance under his rule then what good was a Black Order if the people didn't trust each other or the people in charge. His vision for the future was to have everyone fighting the good fight and happy doing it he was mostly concerned with the rubbish that still filled the Order from Leverrier's overseeing but he figured he'd soon extinguish all that was left of that retched man as he cleaned through the many branches reevaluating them.

Meanwhile Kanda and Lavi both took off in different directions in the forest. They could hear Neah screaming in Allen's voice "I'll find you this time exorcists." Neah Walker was the fourteenth noah that was inside of Allen. Allen had learned to control him some but there was that occasion when he just wanted to be set free for a while so Kanda and Lavi, well mostly Kanda would hide in the forest and he and Neah would fight. It gave Neah some exercise so he wasn't lying dormant inside Allen all the time waiting for the moment to just take over. Allen had agreed to give Neah some full control during this time but Allen feared how far Neah would take it. He knew Kanda's regenerative powers were strong but if Neah got too carried away and used his dark matter ability he could kill Kanda. This had all stared one day while they were sitting around discussing the Order and the Millennium Earl. Neah had become agitated at the conversation and surfaced causing a fight between him and Kanda. At the end of the fight Kanda and Neah had come to an understanding about how things were going to work, especially if it came down to Kanda having to fight the moyashi with the fourteenth inside him. He had informed Neah that he would not hurt Allen's body even though Neah wanted to go full out in the fight. Allen had took some control over during the fight and he suppressed Neah some as he and Kanda talked. It was agreed that when he felt he needed to stretch out his authority some over Allen he could surface and he and Kanda would face off, but the one exception was that he couldn't get Allen's body hurt in the process. So in actuality Kanda had the fourteenth protecting Allen's body while they fought which made the fourteenth concentrate on two things at once and it wore him out quicker that way. These little fights would take placed at least once a month or even twice when they weren't out on the fishing boat. Kanda, Allen and Lavi had gotten jobs as fishermen on a fishing boat. They were sometimes gone for days at a time out fishing. They all had settled in the town of Chin-Chang a little town on the coast of China. Alana, Chevi and Lenalee were waitresses at a local restaurant. They all took different shifts so they didn't have to rely on Komui to take care of Rin. That sort of disturbed Kanda some thinking about Komui and Bookman babysitting, he envisioned his sons head being diapered or some strange experiment being created by Komui and used on Rin.

During the next few months when Neah would surface Kanda found himself having deep conversations with the Noah inside of Allen after their fights. Their talks consisted of things that were wrong with the world and how they could be changed. Neah's outlook on wanting to take the Earls place concerned Kanda some but what concerned him more was that Neah would soon take over the moyashi and Allen would cease to exist. Kanda knew these little talks they were having was just a passing thing but he hoped in the end he could convince Neah not to take over Allen completely. He couldn't bear the thought of losing his young friend he'd grown so fond of this past year and Kanda knew he would do anything in his power to protect Allen. He had to change Neah's mind on some outlooks he had for the future. Allen deserved to live and Kanda wasn't going to let him go that easy and he informed Neah of that and the noah just laughed at first. But since that day six months ago Neah now had a respect for Kanda. He was a fierce fighter and he kept his promise not to hold back. He also cared deeply for Allen and Neah tried to figure out why because in the beginning he hated Allen. Neah found himself thinking about things that he never thought of before. His mind was confused as he watched the friendships between these people grow with each passing month. They had bonded together and began to trust each other with their lives and now one of them was actually talking to him. Kanda had made Neah rethink the things he had thought about before. Kanda had actually become a sort of _friend _to Neah now that the noah thought about it. Kanda had tried to earn Neah's trust over the past months and he confided some of his darkest worries to the noah. Neah retreated that day as Allen took back over and he looked up at Kanda and slightly smiled "Thank you Kanda." Kanda just stared straight ahead not letting Allen see the pain on his face, not wanting to look at Allen's face one day but know that it was Neah inside and not Allen. Because…because he would be gone so gathering his thoughts he turned and forced a slight smile at Allen "Oi Moyahsi for what?" Allen then turned and looked straight ahead with a sort of solemn look on his face "For trying to save me." Kanda just sighed and turned his head "Che" then his face saddened some as he looked back at Allen and reaching his hand up he scuffed Allen's hair some as he stood "Come Moyashi the onna will be worried if were gone longer." As Kanda began to walk away Allen just smiled some because he knew now that he and Kanda's relationship had changed. So standing up he then began to run after the lengthy striding samurai and when he caught up to him he walked next to him feeling a sense of happiness about this new person Kanda had turned into. But then he also felt sad about what would happen to this new person Kanda had become when Neah completely took him over and he ceased to exist.

In the next three months Neah and Kanda had begun to trust each other some. Kanda never lied to Neah as they talked and Neah found Kanda had a soft spot for Allen which he couldn't understand. He realized that maybe it had something to do with Allen helping him when they were in India. Neah had begun to trust Kanda something that he had never done with humans for as long as he could remember. The only one he ever trusted was Mana, his brother and after the Noah inside him awoke he had become distant from Mana. Neah had always regretted that and now his feelings were conflicted that he was actually staring to trust another human being again.

Fight after fight and talk after talk Kanda had finally gained Neah's trust. The Noah now trusted Kanda more than he had anyone in a long time. Now all Kanda had to do was convince Neah he didn't have to take Allen completely over, they both could co-exist in Allen's body. Neah had brushed the suggestion off many times in their conversations but now after all this time spent with Kanda he could tell maybe….just maybe he could change some.

But then came the day Link found them and showed up at the house. He started telling them all about the new Pope and how he wanted to change the Order into something completely different. He also informed them he wanted them all to come back that right there set Neah off when he saw Kanda contemplating the idea. So he took Allen over and began screaming at Kanda "You're a fraud! You lied to me! You said we were friends and now you're thinking about going back!" Throwing his hands in the air "Do you know what they'll do to us?" Referring to him and Allen he waved his hand and stormed out the door into the forest. Kanda just sat there wide eyed then he stood up and went to follow Neah/Allen. Kanda felt he had betrayed his friend by even thinking about the whole idea but he was also thinking of Allen and Neah at the time. When he got to a clearing he yelled for Neah only to be tackled to the ground by Allen in crown clown form. Allen wrapped his hand around Kanda's neck and leaned closer "What the hell did you do to Neah BAKANDA!" Kanda just stared at Allen for a moment then lowered his gaze as he wheezed out "Oi I thought about it for both of you Allen." Allen's eyes widened as he let the pressure go some on Kanda's neck. Sighing Kanda began to explain "You can't keep running around like this and suppressing Neah." A worried look crossed his face as his voice got soft and low "Hai one day Allen he will take complete control and you'll be gone." Allen saw the sheer concern on Kanda's face as he let him go and Kanda sat up rubbing his neck turning to Allen "Neah I haven't betrayed you as a friend. If they try anything they'll have to kill me along with you." He watched Allen's eyes change as a raspy voice spoke "You would give up your wife and son to die with me?" Kanda began to move his neck around then he stared Allen in the eyes but he knew he was talking to Neah and he slightly grinned "Hai is that not what friends do for each other? If it came down to protecting you and Allen I wouldn't give it a second thought Neah. I would never let them hurt either of you." Placing his hand on Allen's shoulder he said firmly "That I promise you." Neah stared at the samurai for a moment and realized Kanda had never lied to him. He had no other choice but to trust Kanda at this point because he had never done anything to endanger him or Allen and he knew he wouldn't now. So finally after moments of silence Neah turned to Kanda "Alright I trust you on this but if anything goes wrong-" Kanda didn't let him finish " Oi if anything goes wrong we'll kill everyone in charge and die together." Allen found himself screaming in protest at the deal they had just made but his screams weren't heard except by Neah. Neah knew Allen would never let Kanda make such a sacrifice but at this point he didn't know if he would let him go through with it either. He couldn't believe Kanda was willing to die next to him if he had to leaving his family behind but he also knew Kanda believed in two things and that was his word and honoring friends. If he had learned anything about this complicated man in the last nine months it was those two things.


	15. Chapter 15

AN: I'm sorry it took so long to update I just found out my brother passed away four years ago. I hadn't been in touch with that part of my family for almost fifteen years now. It was a devastating thing to find out and I had to take some time to process it. But for the few reading this I thank you for your patience. Okay this is where Kanda decides to meet with the Pope. Let's see how that goes.

Where do we go from here? Chap.15

It was a few days later when Kanda and Link entered the Popes chambers. Kanda stood there with all his senses tingling due to not knowing what was going to happen. He was a fugitive and they could easily arrest him or kill him on site so his guard was up intensely. He watched as everyone in the room moved and their facial expressions, they all seemed to look at ease but he still didn't lower his defenses. Link stood next to him knowing the samurai didn't trust anyone, especially those in control. As the Pope entered his chambers he glanced to Kanda who looked very on edge he thought. He walked over to him and slightly smiled "Thank you for coming to see me Yu Kanda." Kanda stared at the Pope with narrow eyes wondering what was going to happen next. So shrugging his shoulders Kanda stood there his hand on Mugen as he replied "Hai I didn't have much of a choice as Link was very determined to get me here." The Pope walked over to his chair and sat down then motioning to the other chairs he waved at them to sit down. As he stared at Kanda he could tell the samurai was uneasy sitting there watching every move anyone made towards him. The Pope slightly smiled at him "You don't trust me do you?" Kanda gazed up at him with narrowed eyes as his hand tightened on Mugen's handle and he contemplated his answer for a moment "Hai, I don't trust a lot of people. Your right people in charge are the ones I trust the least." Looking the Pope from head to foot made the Pope smile that Kanda didn't trust people that easily because he knew Kanda would train the new exorcist's with the same quality. Clasping his hands in front of him the Pope grinned slightly at Kanda's uneasiness as he knew he was going to have to convince the second exorcist to see he wasn't one to be feared "Please Yu Kanda you have nothing to fear from me. I am here to do Gods work not to pass judgment on you." He corrected himself seeing the look in Kanda's eyes "No, not that you need judgment for protecting you family. I truly admire that quality in you, you're the only living second exorcist the Black Order has. You are a fine exorcists and I want to make you a proposition." Kanda raised a brow at that statement then glanced to Link as link nodded his head. Turning his head back to stare at the Pope he sighed "Oi, what's the proposition?" The Pope smiled slightly that he even wanted to hear the proposition then he leaned forward some in his chair "I want to reconstruct the whole Order and I want you to train the new exorcists that we have." Kanda's eyes widened at what the Pope had just said as he turned and looked out the window "Why me?" he asked firmly.

The Pope stood and walked over next to him which made Kanda grip Mugen tighter as he stopped on his right side and stared out the window also "Kanda you are one of the best exorcists the Order has. Not to mention your insight on akuma and the way they level up. You're the only living second exorcist and your regenerative power is an asset to us." He then turned to look at Kanda "I know that Leverrier ran the Order his way. He went after your child and that's something I won't stand for, children are a blessing from God. I don't blame you one bit for fighting him to keep your family. I'm willing to overlook everything if you and the others return to work at the Black Order." He then began to walk over towards Link "I have great plans for the Order from here on out and I want you and the other exorcists to be part of that." He placed his hand on Link's shoulder "I have already told Howard that I want you in charge of the new exorcists." Kanda mind then wandered to his friend Allen "Oi I have one question. What will happen if Allen Walker comes back?" This Pope knew Allen wasn't a traitor to the Order but he was concerned about the Noah inside of Allen so he asked Kanda one question "Do you trust Allen Walker?" Kanda eyes narrowed as he nodded "Hai, with my life." Satisfied with the answer the Pope smiled slightly "Then I guess I'll Leave Allen Walker to you and Howard Link then. They'll be no more monitoring of him unless something arises that needs that sort of attention." After the whole situation with the fourteenth surfacing in Allen a year ago and him disappearing the heads had only let him back in because of Leverrier wanting to keep tabs on him. Kanda didn't want Allen to feel he was being spied on or feel like he didn't belong. He turned to stare at the Pope then he made a firm statement "If anything happens to Allen or Nea if we decide to return I will kill everyone who is in charge and die alongside of him." Kanda's brows narrowed as he looked to Link "Is that clear." Links eyes widened some knowing Kanda was being truthful but the Pope just smiled slightly "I would not expect anything less from you my son." He then turned to walk out "Go ahead and talk it over with everyone. This is a new age for the Order and I want all of you to be a part of it. You have my word that nothing will happen to Allen Walker or the Noah that resides inside of him." Kanda stopped the Pope as he was walking away "OI! I have a favor to ask." The Pope stopped and turned "Yes" Kanda took a deep breath the sighed "Che" turning his head to the side "In order to keep Nea under some sort of control Allen must give him control sometimes. I have been exercising Nea for months now and I will need a place big enough and strong enough to withstand some heavy damage when that time comes." The Pope heard him and nodded "I leave that to you and Howard to design and put in the new headquarters. Anything that will help just ask Kanda and it shall be yours." As he left Kanda turned to Link a little wide eyed and unbelieving "Oi Link is this for real." Link turned and nodded "Yes Kanda it's for real. He wants to change what Leverrier screwed up." Kanda walked up to Link and stared at him "Does he know you killed Leverrier?" Link Nodded "Yes and he bought the story I told him so your all in the clear." Link started walking towards the door as Kanda followed him "I would never do anything to put you guys in danger this is a good proposition for you guys. It will put you in charge of everyone and you can train them as you wish. It will also give Allen a place to have a stable environment in that was my main concern. I don't want him out roaming the countryside after all he is an exorcist for as long as he can suppress Nea." Kanda lowered his head as he stopped walking and Link turned around "What is it Kanda?" Kanda shook his head slightly "I don't know how long Allen can hold out for. He's using everything he's got right now to suppress Nea but he's getting weaker." Kanda started to walk by Link "Sometimes I fear after our sparing that Allen will never surface again and Nea will remain." Link could tell Kanda was concerned for Allen and he knew that Kanda would never want Allen to disappear especially after everything they had been through. It was just a year ago after the Alma situation when Allen used the ark to send Kanda and Alma to Mater. Allen had been broken out of the Order's prison by the Noah and Link had been killed. Allen had disappeared and no one knew where he was. It was when Kanda returned from Mater that he found out Allen was missing and he and Johnny set out looking for Allen. Leverrier had sent Link to follow them but Link's only concern at the time was to find Allen and make sure he was alright. It was months later that Kanda had found him and Nea was mostly in control. Allen had tried to suppress Nea as much as possible but the Noah had taken most of the control. Kanda had put himself out there fighting with Nea and talking to Allen until Allen finally came to his senses and took control back. But the months had taken their toll on Allen and he was getting weaker by the day. That's why Kanda had decided to befriend the Noah inside of Allen it was to see if he could change Nea's mind on the whole business of killing the Earl and taking his place leaving Allen lost in darkness somewhere forever. For one who had never gotten close to anyone Link noticed that Kanda had become quite fond of Allen in the past year and the samurai's feeling's for the young exorcist was clouding his judgment some on the matter of the Noah.

Alana entered the house that night after work and found her husband sitting in their room holding their son. She saw the far off look on his face and she knew he was heavy in thought about everything. She sighed slightly as she shut the door and walked over to him placing her hand on his shoulder "Kanda you're doing it again. You're getting lost in thoughts of how to save Allen." Cocking his head to the side he looked up at her "Hai I can't get anything past you can I onna?" She looked down at Rin who had his hand tangled in his father's hair as he giggled and smiled. "No Kanda you can't. I want to save Allen too but I also don't want to lose my husband in the process." She didn't know yet the promise Kanda had made to Nea and he knew he would have to tell her sooner or later but for right now he thought it best to keep it to himself. He knew she would only get upset at him if she found out. So grinning slightly at her he looked back down into his sons smiling face as Rin grabbed a handful of Kanda's hair and shoved it into his mouth. Alana slightly chuckled "Have you fed him yet?" she asked as Kanda reached down and pulled his hair from the nine month olds mouth "Not yet" He said standing raising Rin above his head in his hands and staring at the giggling baby " Oi but I think we will now huh?" He grinned up at his son then lowering him to his hip he turned to Alana "Onna I love you very much, you know that right?" Inhaling Alana smiled at him knowing he wasn't telling her everything but she wasn't going to push the subject right this minute "Yes Kanda I know you do." He then leaned over and kissed her forehead then turned and walked out the door to go fed his son. She stood there a moment and knowing her husband the way she did she exhaled heavily _'You're going to do something to save Allen aren't you? Even if it costs you your life or puts you in danger.' _She knew though from the past year they had all been together that a bond had grown between them all, well Kanda and Allen especially and she knew her husband would do anything he could if he knew he could succeed in saving the young exorcist. This was something she would have to come to terms with and she knew deep in her heart she didn't want to lose Kanda but if it came down to it she would let her husband do what he thought was right even if it meant losing him. Alana knew Kanda could never live with himself if he didn't do everything he could to help Allen and they had talked about what would happen if something went wrong. Being Japanese it was a case of honor and pride for Kanda and she knew that there would be no stopping him so she would come to terms with that in her own time.

Later that afternoon Kanda was meditating on a small hill by the sea shore as Allen walked up next to him. He looked down at Kanda as the slight breeze blew through Kanda's long hair and he slightly smiled seeing the content look on the samurai's face. Without even opening his eyes Kanda said softly "Hai Moyashi" Allen slightly grinned as he sat down next to Kanda in the grass "How did you know it was me without opening your eyes?" Kanda just grinned slightly "All of you have different ways of walking. You walk with a light, slight shuffled step." Allen's eyes widened slightly "Ooo I see so you came hear our steps." Nodding slowly Kanda then opened one eye and stared at Allen "So what's on your mind Moyashi?" Allen turned his head to look out at the sea "Kanda I don't want you to do anything to get yourself killed when it comes to me. You have a wife and a son that need you." Kanda opened his other eye and turned to look at Allen "Alana knows what I would do to help you Allen and we have talked some about it." Allen turned and gave Kanda a soft smile "Have you told her you planned on dying with Nea and me if anything went wrong?" Kanda's eyes shifted to the left some as he looked away from Allen "That's what I thought." Allen said exhaling as he turned and picked up a small stick from the tree and began to break it up in his hand "Kanda I will be fine. I want you to stop this crazy talk about dying with Nea." Kanda's eyes widened "N-NO! Moyashi!" Allen turned startled at the tone in his voice then Kanda lowered his eyes "I gave my word" he stated firmly. Allen slightly exhaled as Lavi and Lenalee walked up and seeing the serious look on Kanda's face Lavi grinned trying to lighten the mood "Hey guys. What's with all the seriousness?" Allen looked up at them and smiled as Kanda quickly shifted his eyes to the left to look away.

"Uh Nothing serious" Allen replied turning back to Kanda. The samurai only mumbled under his breath "I made a promise and you won't talk me out of it." Then he looked up at Lavi and Lenalee "Oi have you two told Komui yet that your planning on getting married." Lavi's eyes widened "Ssssh Yu he could be lurking anywhere." Allen gave one of his bright smiles "Don't worry I'm sure he's come around some by now." Lavi sighed and scratched his head "I don't know about that. LAsy night he glued me to my bed with a glue he invented." Turning and pulling his shirt up as they gasped at the pieces of sheet stuck to his back "I haven't quite figured out how to get the material of yet." Kanda rolled his eyes and snapped his head to the side "Che" Lenalee brought her hand up to her mouth to cover the laugh that slightly escaped it "I-I'm Sorry Lavi. I'll have another talk with him."

"No!" Kanda said standing up "That's for Lavi to do. If you want to marry Lenalee you have to show Komui who's boss and you truly mean business. If not he'll make your life a living hell." Lavi sort of shrank some as he stared at Kanda "Are you serious?! I'm lucky he hasn't killed me yet." Kanda just grinned a toothy grin as he turned and walked off and Lavi turned to Allen "I wish he wouldn't smile like that it's creepy." Allen watched his friend walk off "Yeah well it's good to see him smile. Creepy or not." Lavi just turned and stared at Allen and seeing the look on Allen's face he reached over and placed his hand on his shoulder "You two were having a serious talk. I bet I know what it was about too." Allen smiled as he turned to look at Lavi "Yeah it's okay I'm sure I'll come up with something before anything serious happens." He then smiled at Lenalee "I'm going to find Chevi. I'll see you guys back at the house later." With that Allen turned and walked of in the direction he saw Chevi walking earlier. Lenalee had a worried look on her face as she looked at Lavi "I'm scared Lavi what if something happens when we get back to the Order? I can't lose any of you again your my family and I love you." Lavi pulled her close to him "Don't worry Lenalee I'm sure Kanda has figured this all out."

Back at the house Kanda was talking with Alana "I seriously have no fucking idea what's going to happen if we return to the Order." He picked his son up and walked over and sat in the rocking chair "I guess I will just have to trust this Pope and I hope he doesn't double cross me on the whole Allen thing because then I will have to kill him." Alana just smirked but deep down she knew her husband was serious. Turning to leave the room to get Rin a bottle she stared out the window at Allen and Chevi who were sitting in the grass having what seemed to be a heated discussion. Allen and Chevi had become intimate in their relationship these past few months. As Alana watched hem she realized that her friend was actually in love with a boy who in a while from now probably wouldn't even exist and she couldn't imagine the hurt and pain that was going to cause Chevi. But she knew it was going to be hard for everyone but Chevi was the one who was going to suffer the most. Picking the bottle up she walked back in the room where she found her husband singing a Japanese lullaby to their son. She didn't understand what he was singing but it sounded so beautiful and soothing. Handing Kanda the bottle she sat on the bed and watched him feed their son as he continued singing softly. It was a few moments later she heard a slight taping on the window. Looking over she saw Allen's smiling face as she got up and walked over to open it.

"What is that singing? It's beautiful. I feel it reaching down to my soul and soothing the rage inside." Allen said with a look of relief on his face something no one had seen for a long time. He was usually stressed and uptight having to suppress Nea. Alana turned and pointed to Kanda "Kanda is singing the baby to sleep." Allen smiled slightly and just listened as Kanda continued his song and it flowed through him. He felt free for the first time in a year, free to think on his own, free to smile a genuine smile. As he listened to Kanda his eyes began to shine brightly like he was at peace with the song and Kanda's voice. Alana thought to herself '_Wow can music calm a savage beast or in Allen's case a Noah?'_ Kanda looked up slightly as he continued to sing a little louder for Allen to hear and he noticed also the look of serenity on Allen's face. Allen closed his eyes and a smile curved the edge of his lip as he swayed back and forth. The song Kanda was singing was a Japanese lullaby to put the fears in your life to sleep and let you be filled with happiness and joy and from the looks of it, it seemed to be affecting Nea as well. Nea was after all the one who plays the piano to control the ark and music seemed to motivate him. Kanda wondered if the connection of music was the way to place Nea at peace some along with Allen suppressing him? If he could help Allen just a little with a song to give him time to gather his strength back then that was what he would do.

**Thank you for your patience I know this story isn't the best but I'm going to keep trying like I did with my others to write a truly awesome story sooner or later. This was one that just popped into my head and I had to get it out. I know it isn't following true to form but I want to show the characters growing and getting closer. **


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